When clinginess leads to selfishness/possessiveness

[Double J]

I've been in a great relationship with my g/f for almost two years now. We are super clingy with one another, but almost to the point of getting jealous when one watches a movie rental without the other being present, upset when a friend invites one of us out but the other gets left out, etc. We both claim it's a "healthy" jealousy/selfishness that shows we're always yearning for each other. We both just have a couple of close friends.

 

None of us has ever flied on a plane. She told me that her college might be taking a group of students to fly to another state in the midwest in March and that she may be going - it's all paid. As you can imagine, I don't like the thought of this. I always pictured her and I going on a plane for the first time together. She has yet another trip to go on a few weeks before but that one is not that far and will require bus transportation.

 

The plane one bothers me because I am unable to go (because of school) and am not in a position to be spending money on a trip that way.

 

I'm trying to figure out if we really get jealous/upset because we want to partake in these things together and it doesn't pan out that way, or because we want to "join in on the fun." I was honest with her and told her that if she was to go, it would upset me a bit.

 

Are we both being too selfish/possessive with one another in your view?

[VeganBohemian]

Let her go....if you guys have such a great relationship, you should support her and encourage her to do fun activities. If she stayed home because of your jealousy or clingyness...would you really be happy? You shouldn't make her feel guilty for going...that attitude if continued will probably end up with resentment and unhappiness.

[Blue Skittles]

I think its a problem that both of you have been living life for only each other and thus have no independance outside of the relationship. Its healthy to have friends that only you go out with and not bring your gf along. Its healthy if your gf goes out and has a girl night where you don't go. As for the plane ride thing, its really not a big exciting thing. Its just a method of transportation, and if she wants to go and have fun you should be happy for her.

[Rabican]

its all good having a good connection with someone, but you both really need to realize that although you are together, you are still two different people. you are not joined at the hip, so dont act like it. Its a GOOD thing to have some separate lives/ activities. flying on a plane... your not exactly talking about a first born child here... its a plane ride. let her go, wish her well and tell her to have fun. next time maybe you can go.