D- Day

[AwdreeHpburn]

Did you know that today, the 2nd Monday of January (in the US), is the usually the most common day for filing for the big D - Divorce? Meaning, this day sees the most filings of any other day through-out the year.

 

WOW!

 

AND - did you know that the number one most common trait among divorced couples was a separate bed time?

 

#2 was separate checking accounts... [-X

 

Just thought I'd share this here so everyone can be the wiser, know the signs, and take time to work on any issues.

 

See ya round

[Newo Ikkin]

Oh no...*learns to love coffee*

[luvursmile]

Ahh, thats not good!!!

Hubby & I dont go to bed at the same time & we have separate checking accounts...Yikes!

[AwdreeHpburn]

Lately (again) I have been staying up long past my husband and falling asleep on the sofa. When I heard this, I was really alarmed. I know there's things going on in our relationship...now I think I'll start paying closer attention.

[MacGyverRI]

Did you know that today, the 2nd Monday of January (in the US), is the usually the most common day for filing for the big D - Divorce? Meaning, this day sees the most filings of any other day through-out the year.

 

WOW!

 

That's because you get 100% tax benefits/write offs for the prev. year.

[AwdreeHpburn]

That's because you get 100% tax benefits/write offs for the prev. year.

 

hmmmmmm.....is that a big part of it??

 

nice...

[Jeff777]

What if you sleep in separate beds - or the kids sleep with mom (2-3 of them).

 

That's further down the road I suspect.

[renaissancewoman101]

Why is a separate bedtime such a deal killer? Maybe I haven't been in a relationship long, but I have noticed that the relationships I've been in, there is always one that likes to sleep earlier vs the other. I guess if you spend time together occasionally (like go to sleep together once in a while) that can make up for it.

 

But what do I know.

 

As for separate accts, is marriage something where you HAVE to join EVERYTHING together? If I was married, I dont want to mix all my accounts together. I know some married couples where the husband and wife have one joint credit card and also a separate credit card. Is that a bad thing?

[Jeff777]

I guess it's more about the REASONS for the above. In my case the lack of sleeping together drove a wedge between my marriage as my wife viewed the marriage as more of a mom thing than a wife/husband thing.

 

Why would you want to have things SEPARATE when you are TOGETHER?

[renaissancewoman101]

Sometimes, I think I would want one thing separate, like a credit card, just to avoid causing fights with the spouse about what I spend MY money on, etc. Maybe I think this way because of my parents, I dont know. I dont like to be controlled by someone else about what I SHOULD and should NOT spend money on, etc.

[luvursmile]

Well, maybe its just me, but I like to keep our finances separate. We split eveything 50/50 but I like to keep my money to myself. Its not a matter of who makes more (we both make about the same) its just my personal preference. We're kind of independent people (my hubby & I) so if I wanna go on a shopping spree or if he does...we just prefer to do it on our own. I dont want him asking me "Honey, what did you spend X amount on?"

[renaissancewoman101]

^ I agree with you wholeheartedly. I wouldnt want to have to be held accountable to my spouse and he to me. It makes us feel like little kids.

 

True, there are some things that should be done jointly, but then there are also other things that should be done on one's own, just as long as it is not abused.

 

In a marriage, there is compromise, and the two parties are still two separate and equal entities.

[foobar]

>Did you know that today, the 2nd Monday of January (in the US), is the usually the most common day for filing for

>the big D - Divorce? Meaning, this day sees the most filings of any other day through-out the year.

 

Uh huh. Mine just did it to me-- on the 2nd.

[RayKay]

If you looked at many couples whom were not divorced, I bet you could find separate bed times and separate checking accounts as well.

 

I would say neither are indicative of the future of the relationship.

 

Relationship breakdowns are far more than one or two traits, often it is result of communication issues, differences in lifestyles, goals, commitment, and so forth.

 

Plenty of people have separate bed times due to working schedules, and so forth, or different sleep habits. That in itself is not a nail in the coffin if you work with it, and still communicate and all that. However, if you are avoiding going to bed at the same time though, that is a surface issue of something much deeper.

 

As for separate chequing accounts, many people do have separate accounts as well as shared accounts. Most people I know have a shared savings, and shared account for household expenses, bills, but separate fun money ones. More common these days when people tend to have separate incomes, or if partners have different financial styles, etc. If one refuses however to share accounts because they are hiding something, or because one partner has huge issues with debt/spending, again, that is an underlying issue to the not wishing to expose yourself to that.

[run_little_rabbit]

Oh no...*learns to love coffee*

 

hahaha

No worries, dear Newo!

 

My parents (and my boyfriend's, too) sleep in separate beds and sometimes go to sleep at different times. My parents have been married close to 30 years, and his have for close to 20 (I think). It's simply a matter of comfort to them. My dad snores horribly loud and twitches while he sleeps, so it keeps my mom awake. But while they're awake our parents get along perfectly well and spend tons of their non-working time together.

 

At the same time, I can see how having separate bed times would fuel the fire in an unhealthy relationship.

[shes2smart]

Separate bedtimes? Yup. He works a more 2nd-shift schedule, I'm more of a daytime shift worker. I have to be up earlier, so I go to bed earlier. He gets home later, so he stays up later to unwind after work.

 

Separate checking accounts? Yup. We've never comingled our money. Heck, our house is in my name alone. Lots of reasons...one of them being keeping his ex-spouse outta my bid'ness. We divide the bills, one of us gives the money for our portion to the other and that's how we pay for stuff.

 

However, we're nowhere near getting divorced...heck, we're not even near thinking about getting divorced.

 

People also start diets, exercise programs, savings programs, and try to quit smoking after January 1. A lot of people seem to be compelled to make changes in their lives at the turn of the year, especially if they're not happy with things. I'd say filing for divorce falls into that category.