I don't want to be jealous!

[ginger25]

Hey,

 

I just saw some pictures of my boyfriend with his friends and in one of them he is posing with his arm round this girl. She is probably one of their girlfriends (I haven't met these particular friends as we live a couple of hours apart). Anyway, when I saw it I got this terrible pang of jealousy and felt physically sick. I have been the jealous type in the past I guess, as much as I hate to admit it, but that was when I was younger and in relationships with people I suppose I couldn't trust.

 

I thought I was mature and secure enough not to feel that way now so it's shocked me. Do other people get like this? I just hate the thought of him with his arm round another girl that I don't know! I can't admit this to anyone else cos even reading those words I think to myself "get a grip for god's sake!"

 

My current partner is totally trustworthy and we are very much in love. I don't want my insecurity to get in the way of our relationship as I know he is for keeps. I don't think I have self esteem issues, I think I'm moderately attractive and smart and I know we are perfect for each other.

 

How can I nip this in the bud before it becomes an issue?!

[run_little_rabbit]

So I'm not the only one who feels physically sick when I feel jealous... good to know!

 

I know it's hard, but stop assuming the worst! My boyfriend and I went to the same high school but didn't really know each other that well until a couple years after we graduated. He did the school news a few times a week so everyone knew who he was, and even though he denies it he was pretty popular. Whenever we go out he's running into people he used to be friends with and the girls always give him big hugs. I'm not typically a jealous person, but it used to drive me nuts... still bothers me from time to time but not as badly.

 

Just remind yourself that he would probably feel the same way in your situation. In time you'll meet all of his friends and hear stories about them and they won't seem like a threat.

[ginger25]

Thanks.

 

I was kind of ok about it until I spoke to him tonight and apparently it was his friend's girlfriend's friend. I couldn't help but be off with him on the phone. There are loads of pictures of her. I know I would still seem unreasonable if I brought it up and to be honest I really don't want him to know that I'm jealous cos it would make me feel like crap once I told him, but at the same time I'm desperate to get it off my chest.

 

The worst thing is, he saw some photos of my holiday in the summer, a lot were of me with different men, completely innocent but it didn't look good! He was great about it and said it was fine as he trusted me, but when I went on holiday we had just started seeing eachother.

 

I just wish I didn't feel like this!