Wonderful Guy... Sometimes "weird"... Incredibly Sweet... What should I do??

[brandypgirl37]

This is a long story so please be patient with me...

 

I started working at my current place of employment back in March and noticed that the guy I'm asking about on here never really seemed to have any interest in communicating with (or talking to me). As the months went on, I began to notice he would talk to me about many different subjects (music, sports, his new home, etc). Still, he goes through motions where he is very outgoing or is very shy and is downright QUIET to some people (including me sometimes).

 

Here lately, I'll admit to learning certain things about his favorite teams or about his home or stuff and have even attempted to be more friendly (which can be met as either more friendly or very quiet by him). He used to ask me out to lunch (about two months after I started) and I would refuse but anytime he asks now, I'm normally happy to go (or if I can't do as he wants I'll invite him to come along with me). I think he's kind of grown on me and has shown me that people really can be caring and sweet (because most of the things he does are genuine -- which is more than I can say for most of the men I have known).

 

However, I'm not sure if it's his shyness or if he isn't really interested or if he's intimidated by seeing somebody at work that prevents him from openly asking me out. He asked me out to lunch several days ago and, as luck would have it, it turns out that he is interviewing for a job at a different place of employment (somewhat nearby) as he has just earned his Bachelor's degree... At lunch, he made the remark that he normally didn't like to ask such things of co-workers but wondered what the odds were that, provided he did get the other job, that he could see me again sometime... I thought it was incredibly sweet of him (because I think he's genuine and believe that he GENUINELY CARES FOR ME). Should this finally be taken as a genuine invitation to go steady or should I just ask him straight out? I mean, he'll often come by the desk and kind of "punch" at me or something (playfully) and whenever he has what looks to be concern, I always invite him to talk about things with me. I also try and learn more about the games or sports he likes (and trust me, I'm not doing that for any other reason but to try and get him to open up a little more to me). What exactly is going on here?? Do I have potential with him... or should I just look in opposite directions??

 

I'm not talking about marriage but I'm 26 and he's 28 and think I'd like to finally experience a GENUINE relationship with a one-woman guy that cares about me and finds me interesting (as I do him)...

 

Brandy

[Batya33]

Sounds to me like he is interested in you and probably will feel more comfortable telling you that once you two no longer work together. you are lucky because with email it is so much easier to keep in touch (when I was 26 very few people had external e-mail) - so take advantage of that and make sure he knows you would like to keep in touch and "of course" would like to see him again. You should have your answer as to the nature of his interest soon . . .

[brandypgirl37]

Thanks...

 

Am I wrong to only consider the fact that I think he is genuine in the things he does as a primary reason to pursue him?

 

Also, I try my best to smile, call him by name (which has always been important to me -- I'd rather be called my name by somebody than just "hi"), playfully talk back to him, and, trust me, I wouldn't TOUCH anybody I didn't have an interest in (and I allow him to touch me at times even if it is playfully). Is he just ignoring these things? (I've been trying to give him subtle hints to open up to me).

 

What if he doesn't get the job elsewhere? Should we remain as we are?

[brandypgirl37]

By the way, when I say "genuine", I'm talking about several things...

 

When my Mother became sick, he was the ONLY person to send an e-mail saying, "I have no idea what's going on but I do wish the best to you and your family" -- which I took to be very sweet, caring, and genuine because he hadn't otherwise really started talking to me at that point...

 

We essentially got stuck into going to the store with one another (a small drug store) to buy gift cards at Christmas and it was so neat being with him because it felt so "steady". And it was really cool having people smile and observe us as if we were a couple.

 

I know for a FACT (just from some of his actions) that he would rather be around me than a lot of people. I find that nice because I like to know that I make him a happier person. He'll often walk by others just to tell me "bye" or "hi". He's so thoughtful and caring and I could never see myself getting mad at him.

 

I really hope something grows out of this...

[Batya33]

I think you are describing genuine behaviors but of course you need time to get to know him and know him in a relationship context.

 

I would not "pursue" him - let him do the asking out, etc. - if you mean should you continue to be his friend and suggest lunch, sure. Keep in mind that in general a man who is interested and available will ask you out on a proper date. He may be concerned about being "available" because you work together.