brandypgirl37

That wasn't a bad thing (speaking back). OH MY GOD... I did not really know at first but I think she likes you. It's the only reasonable and sensible explanation. It really is. She must care something about you. The P.M. cleared things up but catching up with you in the rain, calling you by name (numerous times), joking, smiling, and asking you numerous qeustions for you to say "piss on it" and not even reply. And then to keep on speaking to you (two more times) until you finally speak back. I got to tell you, if I didn't care about you I sure wouldn't speak to you after you had basically ignored me two times (and hell, the last time too - so three times) in a day. You'd be the one speaking to me first after all of that or we just wouldn't communicate at all. I do bet that she's wondering what's going on and it honestly might be time to step up and say, "well, you have a boyfriend". And that's what is so confusing to me... It's obvious that she likes, cares, and maybe even thinks often (loves) you. From what I've read, it sounds kind of weird, but I think she cares enough about you to have said, "Look, I'm not available" when you asked about the ring. You did two things with that: a) You basically let her know that you cared about being around her more in the future and b) You gave her the opportunity to say she was already taken. Lots of girls have other friends that are guys, too, so maybe he's just somebody she hangs out with that she isn't actually in a relationship with. As much as she seems to care about your feelings (asking you to tell her when things are wrong, etc), I SWEAR I believe she'd tell you if she had a boyfriend (or wasn't intersted in you) already.

awwww.... you seem so sweet.... my advice to you would be to do as annie has alreayd said and just be certain that she no longer has the boyfriend when you do decide to ask. but hell, asking her about a ring, telling her that her boyfriend was lucky, etc, kind of give her ever chance in the world to tell you (and i'm still confused as to why she wouldn't have). i would also do as annie said in keeping with talking to her. you sure want ot give her some room but you should probably also understand that you aren't holding a gun to her head and making her go wherever you please (and the reason you seem so sweet is you realize from your other post that you cant). i don't understand this one but i do appreciate you sending the p.m. i requested. testing the water by intentionally not speaking to her to see what she will do? she speaks and begins questioning your weekend? wow... if i had no interest in somebody, i could care less as to whether they spoke to me or not, wouldn't be in a restaurant sitting on a bench side by side with a guy when i had a boyfriend that meant the world to me, and probably wouldn't offer to help you get from place to place. notice one other thing you mentioned in a post... those other two girls that had boyfriends? one wouldn't go with you and the other wouldn't go unless they could drag someone else along. so, apparently, this one feels comfortable with you. i have a feeling this girl might know she's missing out on something without you...

she may have got pissed about you asking other girls and wanted to be asked first. listen up, take her up on the car ride and do get your car fixed. this girl seems to remember a lot about you and the car ride is an invitation. i'm not trying to get your hopes up and i hope (for you) (and for her because you'd be so dang good to her) it works out, but i think she may like you. seriously.

are you two guys young? it just sort of sounds to me that y'all are in your early 20s. it sounds sort of like she tries to be really serious sometimes but always ends up laughing... positive... and there are tons of POSITIVES here. in my opinion, i don't think she has a boyfriend BECAUSE if she's comfortable enough to explain her goals to you, she'd probably be comfortable enough to tell you she had a boyfriend (UNLESS things aren't going well between them and she thinks it will break up anyways). don't get me wrong, but when i was younger, i wouldn't even think about explaining my goals to anybody else. one thing, though, don't put too much stock in the goals because, when i was that age, i planned on moving to europe for a couple of years, looked for schools that were away from home, ect, and in most cases, a lot of people end up right back around the people they are familiar with. PLEASE don't take this offensively, but if you had your hands on my back (or lightly around my back just kind of patting and rubbing me), it wouldn't matter how lightly you did that, i would probably have told you point blank "no", and things sure would have been awkward for the rest of the day if i hadn't considered you to have some sort of potential (and have some sort of interest in you). again, POSITIVE is that she obviously feels comfortable with you. if you were in her friend zone, i kind of believe that she wouldn't be seen in public with you, wouldn't lay a finger on you (or allow you to her), wouldn't have gotten kind of awkward acting and looking over the mention of another girl, and wouldn't want and listen to your suggestions so darn much!! guys that i were friends with (that wanted to be more) were like this: i didn't want them to touch me regardless of how playful or lightly it was, didn't care to be seen at a place like red lobster, outback, a cafe, or whatever, didn't care about their relationships with past women and, in fact, tried to give them pointers, and would have wound up going wherever i wanted to go (or woudln't have went at all) if i was in public with them. the play fighting on her and the talking about interests you have stuff is just so plain of a POSITIVE it isn't worth getting into. she probably wouldn't care about several of those things if she weren't around you and might even be intimidated by a guy punching at her (even if playfully). i would if i didn't have an interest... the fact that she can remember things about you so well screams POSITIVE and it just means that, for whatever reason, you are somebody that has a place inside of her somewhere (you have did something memorable to her). laughing, clapping, and giggling because you were shuffled out of the door to the waitress is POSITIVE. a BIGGIE... the ring thing is just weird. she established to you twice that she wasn't in a serious relationship. something almost identical happened to me one time (except i was asking a guy) and he was like, "oh no, but my girlfriend (insert name) is....." so yeah, I JUST THINK THAT IF SHE KNEW YOU HAD AN INTEREST THAT THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD WAY FOR HER TO MENTION THAT SHE WAS TAKEN. maybe that's just me, though. here's what i think... i think she knows you have an interest. and i'll admit that things could be clearer or better, but she would have likely already run away screaming if she didn't like you. instead, you can laugh, giggle, and have a good time with her, she'll ride along with you like a habit now, and will throw out her own hand for a five or will allow you to pat her back, etc. it seems to me like you like her just because it's her... you know? i mean, sure there may be the other girls that are around, but you like her because she's her. and, she might feel the same way. about the talking in the truck thing and touching thing at the end of the lunch... ask her out sometime soon again and see if she'll go along... if she will, you might need to ask her about something more because it will be likely she has the interest (if after all that). oh, should i mention the moving you aside so she could sit alongside you on the bench? that was just SWEET, CUTE, and probably a good interest indicator from her. Brandy

By the way, when I say "genuine", I'm talking about several things... When my Mother became sick, he was the ONLY person to send an e-mail saying, "I have no idea what's going on but I do wish the best to you and your family" -- which I took to be very sweet, caring, and genuine because he hadn't otherwise really started talking to me at that point... We essentially got stuck into going to the store with one another (a small drug store) to buy gift cards at Christmas and it was so neat being with him because it felt so "steady". And it was really cool having people smile and observe us as if we were a couple. I know for a FACT (just from some of his actions) that he would rather be around me than a lot of people. I find that nice because I like to know that I make him a happier person. He'll often walk by others just to tell me "bye" or "hi". He's so thoughtful and caring and I could never see myself getting mad at him. I really hope something grows out of this...

Thanks... Am I wrong to only consider the fact that I think he is genuine in the things he does as a primary reason to pursue him? Also, I try my best to smile, call him by name (which has always been important to me -- I'd rather be called my name by somebody than just "hi"), playfully talk back to him, and, trust me, I wouldn't TOUCH anybody I didn't have an interest in (and I allow him to touch me at times even if it is playfully). Is he just ignoring these things? (I've been trying to give him subtle hints to open up to me). What if he doesn't get the job elsewhere? Should we remain as we are?

This is a long story so please be patient with me... I started working at my current place of employment back in March and noticed that the guy I'm asking about on here never really seemed to have any interest in communicating with (or talking to me). As the months went on, I began to notice he would talk to me about many different subjects (music, sports, his new home, etc). Still, he goes through motions where he is very outgoing or is very shy and is downright QUIET to some people (including me sometimes). Here lately, I'll admit to learning certain things about his favorite teams or about his home or stuff and have even attempted to be more friendly (which can be met as either more friendly or very quiet by him). He used to ask me out to lunch (about two months after I started) and I would refuse but anytime he asks now, I'm normally happy to go (or if I can't do as he wants I'll invite him to come along with me). I think he's kind of grown on me and has shown me that people really can be caring and sweet (because most of the things he does are genuine -- which is more than I can say for most of the men I have known). However, I'm not sure if it's his shyness or if he isn't really interested or if he's intimidated by seeing somebody at work that prevents him from openly asking me out. He asked me out to lunch several days ago and, as luck would have it, it turns out that he is interviewing for a job at a different place of employment (somewhat nearby) as he has just earned his Bachelor's degree... At lunch, he made the remark that he normally didn't like to ask such things of co-workers but wondered what the odds were that, provided he did get the other job, that he could see me again sometime... I thought it was incredibly sweet of him (because I think he's genuine and believe that he GENUINELY CARES FOR ME). Should this finally be taken as a genuine invitation to go steady or should I just ask him straight out? I mean, he'll often come by the desk and kind of "punch" at me or something (playfully) and whenever he has what looks to be concern, I always invite him to talk about things with me. I also try and learn more about the games or sports he likes (and trust me, I'm not doing that for any other reason but to try and get him to open up a little more to me). What exactly is going on here?? Do I have potential with him... or should I just look in opposite directions?? I'm not talking about marriage but I'm 26 and he's 28 and think I'd like to finally experience a GENUINE relationship with a one-woman guy that cares about me and finds me interesting (as I do him)... Brandy

My guess is that I probably shouldn't -- and I mean, I try very hard to stay out of everybody's business, but these two "kids" are running me CRAZY! I'm not sure if maybe he's interested in her or she's interested in him or if neither has any mutual interest in the other (although I doubt that). Here's the deal, both of these people started working here within the past year and a half (he started a year and a half ago and she started several months ago) and it's been on and off ever since, but now that I share an office with her, I feel like there is something there and I would hate for two people to completely dance around in a circle and end up without one another (when it's pretty obvious that something MAY be there). For example, he'll come up (with apparently no reason) and they'll go to talking about various subjects and -- since he's really cute, he can get away with "play punching" and stuff. She'll giggle whenever he'll come up to her and she'll be like, "Don't hurt me" laughing and he'll touch the top of her head with his fist (not punching her but just "touching"). I think there may be something between them because, as I can recall in school (and when I was around their age of 22 - 24), I WOULD NOT HAVE LET ANY GUY I DIDN'T HAVE SOME KIND OF INTEREST IN TOUCH ME. She really seems to enjoy communicating with him (although she rarely says much about him when he's not around). She'll play around with him and say, "I'm giving him a hard time", and he'll essentially do the same thing. She seems to really encourage anything he says by making statements such as, "If that's what you really want, you should go for it", or "You'd be great at that". The only weird thing is that sometimes he may ask her to lunch and he'll get one of two responses -- "Yes", or "Possibly later". Does she like him or what and should I get involved and try to put them together or just let it work out between them? It's just kind of awkward for me because, back when I was their age, something similar was happening between me and a guy and one day it just all ended and never went anywhere (when I later found out it could have). Brandy

i think you may be invisible. she's doing nothing to show you she has an interest and it looks like she is totally into the other guy. she doens't owe you attention, either. i mean, i'm not trying to be hurtful but much of her focus (as far as guys go) looks to be on him and she may not even know she is hurting your feelings. i think it's kind of romantic that there are two people that appear to be that crazy over one another, though. and you didn't say they were going out so, if they aren't, i'm not sure what's keeping them from it. it's sweet that the girl (even when proclaiming she knows nothing about a sport or team) throws everything to the side to show him time of day over a particular team. i think it's also sweet that he is so concerned about making her mad that he apologizes at times (which gets a "sweet" response out of her... "i don't see you ever doing anything that could make me mad"). aahhhh... those are things marriages are made of (i kind of wish i were her). since i'm a pollster, let me start one up: how many of you think these two can have a meaningful relationship (her and the other guy)? i'm number one on the list! as for you, you'll only rhing yourself down more by holding to something that isn't there. get out and look for someone else. all three of you are at 23 which is a great time to try and find someone consistant. brandy

I was at my boyfriend's house this past weekend (his parents are were out of town) and everything was going wonderful (and even ended wonderful) but something unexpected happened early Saturday evening. It was raining outside and we were just sort of looking for something to do and I playfully said, let's have a wrestling match and tape it. He said "sure" and I said, "well, I'll change in your room", and he said, "I'll change in my sister's room". (His sister is about twenty-nine, has moved out of the house, but has left a lot of her stuff in the house). So, I said, "I'll come out to the "ring" first and then you can come out". So, I changed into a red one piece swimsuit (because I couldn't imagine wrestling in one of my bikinis) and called, "Ready." I expected him to come out in his underwear or boxers (or swimshorts or something) when he opened to door and out he comes with a blonde wig on (with the hair pulled back) and a short white dress with cherries on it (apparently belonging to his sister). I placed both my hands over my mouth and LAUGHED to which he did, too, and I said, you can't wrestle in a dress... and he said, "Well, the match hasn't started yet," and pulled the dress off to reveal a solid white brazilian bikini... Again, I laughed but we went on like normal and I didn't really think anything of it until now. He didn't seem to be fanatical about doing that (so it just seemed like something spur of the moment), I know he's not gay, I know he's not bi, and I'm just wondering if this is something to worry about. He seems to be a very spur of the moment person (in dating him for two years) and I admit it was funny and I had fun... should I question him on it or not? Later that night, I was going through his sister's closet (she used to model locally using ujena swimwear dresses and suits) and I was like, "Let's wrestle and you wear this..." and he was just kind of like "nah" in a "blah" way. It might also be that he was imitating his sister... because his sister, at one time, wrestled (acted) for an independent pro wrestling company and it never really sit well with their dad (who is a preacher), especially after her last match when the man that managed another girl theatrically stomped her below the belt after her match (while she was wearing the - or a - white bikini). I know I kprobably shouldn't be bothered with this, since I had fun the other night, but might it be that he's making fun of his sister? I know they dont get along and I've often questioned, if we were married, if she would be invited (because I actually kind of like her) Brandy

Exactly... And I think another problem here is that she doesn't always respond (or he doesn't) to ever piece of communication. But the main points are in place (she calls just to say hi) and I think the fact that she will tell him she misses not being able to communicate with him as often (because of her schedule) is a big point. And the deal about telling you about her friends... that's another positive point. I kind of think she WANTS you in her life. It's almost as if she may think you are a permanent fixture but doesn't exactly have the time to pursue a real relationship. Brandy

MooseMan, I think I can help. It might be nice for you to have the opinion of a woman on this! I'm not psychic, but I think I can tell you (for sure) that if you can get a response from her (in which she states her enjoyment for talking with you and expresses a concern over the lack of time she has) that you have a pretty good standing with her. That's not to say that you two guys are headed for a marriage - but it's not to say she has no interest either, because she does. It is probably up to you to determine how much interest she has in you. Many on this board might disagree with me, but I think the fact that you two guys met online (discussed EVERYTHING and met) has to be to an advantage to both of you (especially if an interest -- possibly even a mild one -- exists). I feel this way because it SEEMS as though you two already have some sort of "trust" in each other. Don't be stupid (lol), not even a girl will tell you she "isn't thinking she's a good friend" and feels as though she's "neglecting" you by not responding as quickly as she'd like to your messages. Think of it like this (and I was a young girl once)... She has had every opportunity to LEAVE and is sticking around (by returning your e-mail or calls when she can). First, you "pulled back" for an entire week (and for several days a few times before that). If no interest existed, I would be forced to believe she would have simply never responded to any of your attempts to communicate with her thereafter. After you guys met, she could have simply never returned any calls or e-mail. AND SHE HAS! I think what I'm trying to say can be summed up simply. (And this may hurt feelings of other guys who are reading this). Simply, A GIRL WILL NOT RESPOND TO ANY ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE IF SHE HAS NO INTEREST. Again, MooseManWisconsin, it could be that she is interested in just a friendship or possibly even more (I'm somewhat forced to believe just a tad more than a friendship exists). My best friend sent you a private message asking for more info about this relationship and you forwarded a e-mail message that she had responded to (but more importantly, you forwarded the message you had sent after a week of waiting to communicate with her). Let's be straight, making a comment that states, "you are going to make some man very lucky someday. I just hope that if I don't fit into that equation that you will somehow think of me. I understand that you are busy and don't want to occupy so much of your time that you are no longer to live your life in the manner you desire and I want you to do your best at everything." Those statements said a lot. Number one, I don't think you meant anything too personal by the first two sentances, but she could have taken that for exactly how it sounded (thoughts of future) and WALKED QUICKLY AWAY if not interested. Next, by basically telling her she could leave if she desired, you were giving her the perfect opportunity to NEVER have anything to do with you again. Last, I think you showed true character by expressing your desire for her to do well at all things she attempted. ;-) I like you and I think if this girl is wise, she'll keep you around. And her response said a great deal to me: "You make me smile." "I really want to talk to you more tonight and am going to try to but I have a lot of reading to do." "I just wanted to tell you hi." I think this is positive. I would like to know what more people think about the possibilities of this relationship (or how it sounds to them). I guess this was just my little take on the issue! Brandy