THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[brian123]

Well there is this girl that I really like, idk what was going on (see other threads) but I think I am going to go NC for 10 days to give her space. I am going to start my own 10 day NC challenge.

 

After these 10 days, I think I will call her and let her know exactly how I feel and ask her out on a real date, making it short, and to the point. If she accepts, then great. If not, atleast I tried then I guess.

 

Day 1: IDK about her feelings for me. Alot of me is eaten up because I think I made foolish decisions/didn't communicate well enough with her. Maybe this is a sign we wouldn't have worked out anyways?

 

For some reason, I cannot get her off my mind, and it can't be healthy. We never even kissed, so why am I so attached? I've contacted her the last 3 days. I need to lay off and not come off as needy. I also need to figure out if I liked her, or liked the idea of having someone like her. We only hung out 4 times over 4 weeks, so why did I get so attached so quickly? For the last 10-14 days I've thought of little else but her really and biding my time until I could see about us getting together.

 

Today I am going to go to the gym after work, and then hopefully meet some friends out tonight. Tomorrow night my friend's band is playing so that should be fun.

[Priphea]

Back to 0 again. Details here:

 

What an idiot I am.

[DJC]

Day 6

 

Everything is going great, having a blast going out with my mates everyday. Exercising everyday is also helping. Still think about her when trying to sleep and when I wake up though

[bepositive]

KaylaJoy: "One Night a Day" by Garth Brooks is one of my faves...

 

Donescobar: Good show, buddy!

[Abbie]

Day 34 ...

 

... I feel better today. I wonder if the downer over the past couple of days has had more to do with hormones rather than an actual step backwards. I hope so as I only want to move on. I still think about him a huge amount of the time and still secretly wish he would turn up out of the blue declaring his undying love for me. It won't happen though and I need to accept that.

 

Even though, deep down, I still want a reconcilliation, I have definetely been making progress with moving on. Originally, I would have done anything to have him back and would have accepted him back into my life unconditionally. Now though, I wouldn't let him move back in and he would have to get a place of his own and remain single until he worked on some of his issues while I continued to work on mine. There are even brief moments where I think I don't want him back at all. However, it's silly thinking about what I would do if he wanted to try again as I have to accept that this won't actually happen.

 

I still hope he's having a miserable life with his new woman.

[feelinblu]

Oooo! I'm in the double digits lol. Today's been good. I can really tell that things are going to be ok now. I don't NEED him in my life (although I never really did, I just thought I did). It's a good feeling.

[KaylaJoy]

KaylaJoy: "One Night a Day" by Garth Brooks is one of my faves...

 

 

 

I haven't heard that one...is that a new one??

[KaylaJoy]

Day 5...

Was with most of his family this evening for his sister-in-law's birthday party, which he did not attend, but not surprised, it was more for her and her friends and family, but his family was invited by default. It was a little bittersweet when his mom showed me a funny text he had sent her, then his brother started telling about a funny text he had sent him, and it brought it home to me again that we are so done. I haven't had a text from him in so long I don't even remember. ( I deleted all his old ones when I decided to go to NC). Just made me sad. But then on the way home I tried to remember what it is about him I loved so much, and while it is true there is something about him that just gets me, for the most part he doesn't have a whole lot of winning characteristics right now. Not like he used to. And truthfully, if he was anyone else but Mark, I wouldn't give him the time of day. Probably wouldn't even like him, let alone be in love with him. So today I feel like maybe I'm more in love with who he was, and who I wanted him to be to me, then who he really is. Because truth is, while he has value for sure, he's not in a good place to be a great catch to any woman, me or otherwise.

And just realizing all that kinda made me sad.

[brian123]

Day 2: Beginning to think maybe NC is not the way to go for me. I get ancy/excited. Think maybe I should let her know how I feel. I need to take a step back, calm down and re-evaluate things though.

 

I need to keep focusing on myself and my happiness.

[donescobar2000]

I made it to day 7. At the moment I am sad but remaining strong with NC.

[KaylaJoy]

Day 6...he emailed me today...a nasty, angry email...I did not respond....

How do I feel?? I don't know...I'm numb at this point. I do know that he went back and checked to see that I read it and if I wrote a response, because he never signs on MySpace two days in a row, he usually checks it once every two weeks, and he was on both yesterday (when he sent the email) and today (to see if I responded no doubt).

I don't want him to be angry at me, and his email was angry. But he lashed out at me unprovoked, and I don't know how he expected me to respond. I still love him, and it hurts me that he is angry with me, I don't want him to be mad at me. But I don't know how to fix it and still take care of myself, so I just let it go. I want him so much, but if it's not right for us to be together, it's not right, and no amount of trying on my part can make it right.

I just feel sad I guess. I want all this to go away and I want him to love me, and instead it appears that he despises me, over something stupid that was said a year ago.

[feelinblu]

In a weird way anger is sort of a good thing I think. It shows they still care. I doubt he really despises you. He's more likely mad at himself right now, and taking it out on you. I don't know the details of what he wrote, but I'll bet that's the case. Just my .02

[feelinblu]

I had a fairly long talk with my mom today about him, and I could talk about it at ease without getting upset, or having it affect me in such a way that I couldn't get him off my mind at all the rest of day. It felt good to talk about it, but even better that I didn't get all choked up when I did. I would still love to hear from him sometime down the line, but not right now. I miss him, but I also like this time I'm having getting myself together. It feels nice to feel like myself again. Maybe sometime in the future we will cross paths again, and things will work out. He really is a good man. I do think we both have some growing up to do though.

[KaylaJoy]

In a weird way anger is sort of a good thing I think. It shows they still care. I doubt he really despises you. He's more likely mad at himself right now, and taking it out on you. I don't know the details of what he wrote, but I'll bet that's the case. Just my .02

 

If you're curious and have a few minutes, check out my thread today in "Healing from breakups and divorces"...it'll fill you in...

[KaylaJoy]

I had a fairly long talk with my mom today about him, and I could talk about it at ease without getting upset, or having it affect me in such a way that I couldn't get him off my mind at all the rest of day. It felt good to talk about it, but even better that I didn't get all choked up when I did. I would still love to hear from him sometime down the line, but not right now. I miss him, but I also like this time I'm having getting myself together. It feels nice to feel like myself again. Maybe sometime in the future we will cross paths again, and things will work out. He really is a good man. I do think we both have some growing up to do though.

 

good positive way to look at it, feelinblu!

[DJC]

Day 8

 

Im good, pretty happy, going to watch 'teeth' later with some friends-a film about vaginal teeth is just what I need

[DJC]

Day 2: Beginning to think maybe NC is not the way to go for me. I get ancy/excited. Think maybe I should let her know how I feel. I need to take a step back, calm down and re-evaluate things though.

 

I need to keep focusing on myself and my happiness.

 

After two days your emotions will still be running high, you can do no good by telling her how you feel at this point especially as it is so soon you won't have had much time to heal. If you really need more proof just troll around the forum and you will see approximately a trillion and 1 threads tackling this problem, and you will find a correlation between early contact and failed reconciliations.

 

Also you shouldn't "let her know" anything because at this early point its almost guaranteed she won't care.

 

NC isn't a unicorn ride over a chocolate rainbow, but its the best thing you can do at this point.

[donescobar2000]

Day 8 -

 

I have thought about her today...but I can say I am doing better.

[hfc65]

Day 90+

 

Last 3 days haven't thought of her much,Maybe it's causeI I'm going on vacation for 3 weeks.

 

Going to take a nice long drive and free my mind for a couple weeks.

[bramage]

Im on day 2... I know the other guys feeling- It's tough. Does No Contact ever work for reconciliation? I see a lot of posts here - does it EVER work out? I was planning on NC until she contacted me, but the rules here say wait 1 month. What if she calls?? I want in, but that rule is a tough one.

 

In my story, you will see that it was me that left, but due to a lack of what I needed.

 

 

 

I am NC to let her think about what I offered, and see if she wants to let go of the past and make a new life together.

 

We had dated on and of for a long time, and this was our first REAL attempt at both jumping in with both feet.. I think we both got scared very fast

 

Oh what to do.. Oh what to do. Should I join the 30 day club? Will it give be my best chance at reconciliation, on my terms? Help People

[KaylaJoy]

Day 7 of NC for me, not counting the email he sent me day before yesterday (but just read yesterday). I have a myriad of emotions right now. First thing I did tonight when I got home was check his MySpace page to see if he logged in today, which he did, which told me one thing - he wanted to see if I had responded back to his nasty email yet, which I didn't. I know this because he only ever does MySpace once every week or so. He NEVER checks it 3 days in a row...like never! So considering he sent me the nasty email on the 26th, I saw he had logged in on the 27th, probably to see if I had read it, and then logged in again today on the 28th, no doubt to see if I had responded yet, I feel a small sense of triumph in that he is showing some small sign, however so small, that he gives a crap, one way or another. Which is more than he's shown me for a long time.

I feel bad that he feels angry at me, I think I mentioned that yesterday, but I also started thinking about all the times he's made me feel really bad by his crappiness. But given that this angry email came out of nowhere, based on a conversation we had over a year ago that I had completely forgotten about, I refuse to be beaten up of something I said way back when. He asked me what I thought, and I told him, and now after all these months and months, apparently he's decided that it bothers him. If he were to be upfront with me enough to - oh, I don't know - CALL ME, or COME SEE ME, or something of that nature, and then tell me he was still upset, I would probably apologize, just on the grounds that I had offended someone, and never want to be that kind of person. But he didn't. He sent me a scathing email, that sounded like he was sitting there with this huge chip on his shoulder daring me to knock it off, and I refuse. I love him, I don't despise him, contrary to what his email says, but my days of chasing him around the tree are over. If he wants me he can come chase me for a change.

[DJC]

Day 9

 

Still no contact on either part, but not really bothered. Had an amazing night out last night with mates and was flirting back and forth with a girl who is very attractive feeling better these days.

[bramage]

Day 3.. Really feel better, but that can change with a tic of the clock. I made my decision, Im in for the challenege. I was worried that IF the call comes, it would be my chance to make everything work. What I realized is, this would only get us back to where we were, which is what I left.

 

I will do the 30 days, and not return a call, or a txt, or an e-mail. Not sure what Im supposed to do after 30 days, but I dont really care. By then, I should be done with even wanting her back anyway...

[donescobar2000]

Day 9 -

 

She continues to pop in my head every now and then...but I am keeping it moving. No matter how much I love her...I will not let her break me down.

[bramage]

I posted this in another thread, but im feeling good about this plan. I was very short sited when I worried about holding out for 30 days.. Big f^ck, 30 days is nothin'

 

Here it is.. Stil on Plan day 4 *woot*

 

 

I am doing the 30 day (minimum) NC. If she calls, texts or e-mails, Im not gonna take it.

 

If she calls after that I will, and if she asks why I didnt take her calls, Ill say I had some stuff to work out for myself. At that point, Ill be availiblke, but barely, and WILL NOT bring up the option of getting back together. I will be cordial, but will not persue!

 

If she brings up the option of reconsiliation, I will explain that the way it was did not work for me, and I would ask what has changed that would make me want to get involved. (And I will never be too availible ever again- I have a life, remember)

 

If she doesn't call now or after the 30 days, I know there is nothing I could have done or said to change that. You can not manipulte people into loving you. You can remind them how valuable you are, and this is done with complete NC.. If you talk, chat, IM or txt, all you do is push them away.

 

So I will let you know what happens. Either way, Ill end up happy, and thats the goal. If she comes around, under my terms, Ill have the upper hand, and will not give it back. If she doesnt come back.. oh well.. not worth my time