Past sexual relationships

[bigheart09]

Do you think it is better to not talk about past sexual relationships in your current one? Or do you think it doesnt matter, because the past is the past? I often feel jealous when my bf talks about past relationships (even though they might have happened 10+ years ago. It is hard to imagine your significant other with someone else.

 

Please let me know your thoughts.

[kellbell]

I go by the don't ask, don't tell principle on those matters.

 

If your boyfriend is offering details about his past sexual relationships and you do not ask about it, I would tell him to kindly refrain from talking about them. Doing so makes you uncomfortable and you would rather keep things in the past.

[sparkle1]

I think it is hard not to talk about past relationships, as they are part of who we are, and in most cases, we done things with that person that we are proud of (holidays, travelling etc). Also a lot of life experience comes from learning from past relationships.

 

If my other half constantly talked about past relationships then i wouldn't like it very much, and there is never a reason to compare. However, the odd discussion or chat about a time in their life when they happened to be with someone else, is ok.

 

It is hard to think of them with other people, but, its a fact of life and in no way should it make you feel insecure about the relationship.

 

Some people are really good about not talking about ex's, others talk about them lots. Depends on you and them....and make sure you express if it bothers you lots, to your BF how you feel......

 

Also - with my recent ex, his ex hadn't done certain things with him that i was doing, and he told me as he felt i needed to know why he was so excited!!! in this instance - it was absolutely delightful to hear ;0)

[Slacker]

I would say it is a big NO for some relationships, and with others it isn't too big of a deal. I talk to my g/f about her exes often because they are a big part of her life, I can identify personality traits and behaviors that have been influenced and for it I know her better. The downshot is jealousy, if it makes you too uncomfortable then stop.

[Ladyface]

This varies from couple to couple, but if you find yourself being uncomfortable at the mention of your lover's exes, speak up. They should understand where you're coming from.

 

When my most recent ex and I started dating, we talked about our exes a lot, sexually and otherwise. We didn't mind because it gave each other insight into our pasts. But later on in the relationship, he started mentioning that he didn't want to her about my exes (especially sexually) anymore because after he had fallen in love with me, he didn't want to imagine me being intimate with another man.

 

So it all depends on comfort level.

[Day_Walker]

I think that they should be discussed but only if both of the people can handle them.

[Juliana]

Borderlines compulsively confess, so, unfortunately, any guy I ever cared for knows all about all the other guys. Everything. Every horrible detail.

 

Excuse me. I have to go cringe now.

[coollady1957]

This is exactly what I was going to say.

 

I really think it depends upon the individuals involved. There are people like myself who can hear about past relationships and they don't care because it is in the past, over and done with and there is a reason why those relationships are over. Then there are people like my sister-in-law who feel really awful just knowing that they are not the first boyfriend/girlfriend and that the person they are with now is also not their first partner.

 

I am in complete agreement with this ^.

 

I think it's a case by case thing depending on the people involved and how well they can handle hearing about the past.

Some are going to deal with it just fine and others are going to freak out.

 

Personally, I don't talk about the past unless asked.

[bigheart09]

I dont talk about past experiences unless I am asked about it.