another one bites the dust

[wishiknew]

So it's been about a week and a half now since she broke it off. I've been reading posts on the forum but never feltan urge to tell my story until now. I know everyone says/feels that their situation is different in their own kind of way, but really they're more similar than we all think. And this is how my story goes...

To keep it brief, we both got really busy in the last 2-3 months and haven't seen a whole lot of one another. Maybe once a week for half a day, as a result she got distant. When I asked her what was going on between us, she told me that she was confused and just didn't know what she wanted anymore. Wanted to spend some time at christmas together to see if that would help things.

Foolishly, I got scared after that talk and started to lay things on thick and as a result I forced her hand and she broke it off a few days later. She says she still wants me in her life, still wants to be my friend. I used to tell her that I didn't believe in being friends with an ex, not right away, it always hurts one party too much. Of course, me being me, I gave in and tried that route and it's been hard, hurts like hell to be around her, to see her and not be able to reach out to her.

I've gone looking for answers, she wants to give me answers. Problem is all of her answers aren't what I'm looking for. She doesn't want me to get my hope us that we'll be getting back together anytime soon. So I ask if we're through, her answer is "for now." Everything is followed by those words and somehow they give me hope that there might be a chance.

 

So what do I do, go the route of NC and see where that takes me? I'm very confused right now, seeing things that I wanted to see, grasping at straws, trying to save this relationship when it was already gone.

I think in the past day or two I've finally accepted the fact that we are no longer a couple and have been trying to deal with it. Spending time with family and friends instead of in solitary thinking about what went wrong and what i could have done differently. I want to let go, but at the same time I don't.

[Ellie2006]

Hey there,

Welcome to Enotalone.

 

Yes, I am sure you already know this but take it day by day.

 

Hang in there and please know we're here to help in any way we can.

 

Take care of yourself.

 

Best wishes,

Ellie

[elithepi]

Hey wish

I posted this a couple nights ago and it may give you a bit if insight.

And yes, i would say go NC right now...give her some space and time to make her start wondering about you.."he hasn't called, I wonder how he's doing. Gee he still hasn't called."

Anyway here's my post.....

 

 

"Now, lets say, NC, yes would have helped me at the very start. But I am an emotional , I tend to get.....sentimental.

 

So Being that...NC, I have yet to do because I have already screwed things up so I was already expecting to never hear from her again.

IT SUCKED!

 

I had guilt, regret...hell I was dumped and then I ,for the first time ever directed at her, say something in anger instead of handling it wisely.

 

Retrospect:

When dumped, even if it's for some weird reason, step back and say,"cool".

 

And then step back.

 

 

 

Go home. Come to this web site. Drink one beer and slow down!

 

NC is better done from the start to enhance the chances of "getting back together".

 

I was initially pulled into "be a friend", "Uh....sure"...I was shocked, denial, panic.

 

I played it cool at first. Then things set in, all along while I was still communicating with her.

 

Confussion began to take control!

 

Then anger.

"Why is there this sudden void!?"

"I'm still talking to her but it's contrived and uncomfortable!"

"BLOWUP!!"

 

 

It gets to you.

 

 

A sudden break up and yet, you are really friends but you can't be friends right now.

 

Time will tell in my situation. I"m still in love and yes, have hope but I have hope for a lot of other things.

 

If you're really in love, you never loose hope.

 

So screw it! If my hope with her is never fulfilled, it's ok. I just hope she's not the ONLY hope."

[elithepi]

oh yeah....read this, too.