a gal on gal... y?????

[DREAM]

Hi I need some help cos this is quite embarrassing

 

Me and my best mate are really close and really tite, but recently iv been looking at her in a different way…. in a sexual way, im not a lesbian cos iv only been interested in guys and iv had 4 bf. I don't know what it is, what's wrong with me. I can't tell her this cos it's stupid.

 

Please help.

[pimpcess]

I dont think there is anything wrong with you at all... Its natural, can I ask how old u are?

[za3raa69]

dont worry... i guess coz u guys r really close.. ur interpretting ur feelings in a sexual way...

just remember that ur nto gay and u just love ur friend so much that makes u think u want her in tht way

[Gunther]

hhmmm... interesting, do you have an inkaling as to weather or not she feels the same way? Personaly it doesnt sound as if you are lesbian, I would recomend telling her what you feel and hopefuly it will just die out. I don't think this sounds serous with any luck it will just be a phase =} hope what I said helps

[DREAM]

i am 24 years old not not felt like this beofe

 

its abwried feeling na di dont really know what to do with it.

[sabena]

Hey chick..

I think that you will find a lot of girls think exactly the same as you, and especially as you are having a few problems with your boyfriend and you are confiding in your friend.

 

I can't think of any girl who hasn't thought of their friends in this way and I am certainly no exception. You get on with your friend, and have a bonding with her that makes you both really close and maybe for the first time you have struck up a deep friendship like no other, especially if you talk about sex and stuff.

 

Personally I would ride it out and see where you go with your boyfriend and if things improve there. Because right now the feelings that you have with your bf are confusing and your friend is there to help you, don't mistake this for lust/love. Give it a couple of weeks with your bf and see what happens there

[atmuso]

Im a girl and ive also felt the same way about one of my friends but after a while I realized it was just infatuation, you may even just be jealous of her for some reason. Theres a lot of feelings that can get mixed in to make you think youre sexually attracted to her, theres nothing to worry about you just have to sort through your feelings a bit.

[persephonesleeps]

There are several ways to be attracted to someone...physical, intellectual, sexual, emotional, spiritual, etc, or any combination of these.

 

You may be falling in love with your friend, only you know that for sure.

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, nor is there anything wrong or weird or gross about one woman falling in love with another.

 

It might be a good idea to journal about your feelings...be really honest with yourself, and explore what you are going through.

 

It might be infatuation, but again, you know deep down what is going on for you.

 

 

[yllany]

i am 24 years old not not felt like this beofe

 

its abwried feeling na di dont really know what to do with it.

 

dear dream,

i noticed you used the term 'lesbian' 'bi' is another possibility. or perhaps *neither* one of them. the 'infatuation' theory may be right.

(although infatuations are more the explanation for teen-years attractions to other girls, than for those in the 20's)

 

anyways, too early to tell IMHO.

 

as someone said, u need to take ur time in exploring your feelings and exploring your pal's. (besides of really seeing how you feel about men, not just about your (current?) b/f)

 

even if you are feeling that maybe you are bi, or even les, u have to be careful not to mess up your relationship with whom it may be your best pal in this world. if you do a revealing to her w/o exploring how she feels about stuff (love/sex) with other girls, she may freak out if she is very uptight about that side of life, and it may be hard to get her back to be your total & trusting friend.

 

if she is not open to same-sex stuff, hopefully she would at least understand, and just hug you and tell you that everything is ok, that she is still your friend.

even if she is open to those things, she may not wish to explore them with you...

 

if in some weeks from now you still find that you are very sexually attracted to her, you may find that you also are attracted to other women. then, u may want to play safe with your pal, and do an exploration with another woman instead. and see how you feel about that.

 

there are some who would say, "let's hope it's just a phase" and put a lid on it, & go on, burying the feelings and the facts, of perhaps being bi or even les. only to regret it years later.

 

so, don't play the ostrich game. go out and find out.

 

part of this involves/affects knowing/setting your priotities in life. luckily, most careers are not impacted by a 'diferent' choice of sexual orientation, as much as it used to be. if you want children badly (meaning in the future), being bi or les makes it a bit more difficult to have a 'traditional relationship' leading to that. you would eventually have to disclose your sexuality to your male partner, if you are going to have an honest relationship. or choose living a lie for many years.

 

of course, there are other ways to have a family...

 

whatever, don't lie to yself now. 24 is just about the perfect age to find out who is the real you, what really makes u tick, and where u want to go. (at least for the next 10 years of your life.)

 

(many people change throughout life. everyone should to a re-evaluation of goals & priorities every 5 or 10 years. and analize and integrate how they have changed, emotionally and spiritually )

 

deep inside of us are the roots for the forces that drive us in life. our sexuality is closely tied to survival of the species and our essential need to feel loved. that neuronal/hormonal engine that makes us horny for men (or women or both) is pretty complex in humans, though. somehow, we are capable of being attracted to our same sex. the conservative side of society wishes it were not that way. tough cookies.

 

anyways, yeah, explore yourself, your relationship to men, and explore your pal. and other women too. take your time in this. and whatever you come up with, it will be right, even if perhaps filled with risk, because it will be living *your* life and not 'just living'.

and then it will be time to act on your decisions.

and if u are being true to u, the outcome will be beautiful and right, one way or the other.

 

here are a couple of quotings/paraphrasings...

 

"know thyself" -- If Socrates could have used a-bit-more-flamboyant language, maybe many more people would have much better lives.

 

"most happy lives are achieved only thru some great mistakes and many right decisions"

"it's better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all"

"in life we will regret more the things we did not do, than the things we did do wrong"

"nothing risked, nothing gained"

"those who let fear freeze them in time, will find that time leaves them behind, to forever ponder their 'what if...'s"

 

--- yllany

 

BTW, i like your signature !