Best Friends to Lovers? Advice Greatly Appreciated on the Topic

[Dutch713]

Thoughts on how you approach this situation. How to break the ice and tell this person how you feel?

 

I'm 27 and so is she. We've been best friends for 15 years, lost touch for years at a time but always pick up right where we left off. We've both had our share of "bad relationships" in the past. A thousand miles separate us now, but after recently traveling to spend a long weekend with her I can't imagine being happier with anyone else. We had so much fun; laughing, dancing, talking, etc.

 

Her family asks me why we never got together, my parents ask me the same question... I don't know the answer myself!

 

I just don't want to be 40y/o, unhappily married and wondering 'what if?'

 

I would appreciate any advice you can all offer.

[honeyspur]

Just remember that the best couples are also the best of friends.

True intimacy is trust, openess and compassion with one another.

This sound like you two?

Go with how you feel.....

[mitch17]

i just recently told my best friend who is a girl that i was falling in love with her, weve been friends for years and she just said that she only wanted to be friends, i dont take rejection too well so i broke up the relationship. think before u do it. i regret mentioning it. treasure what u have!

[Dutch713]

... but how do you bring up the issue when talking to her? On the phone? Make another trip to see her? And how do you even start to say how you feel after being so close for so long but never romantically?

 

Anyone ever do this before and have a good way to approach it?

[Aurian]

Guess I would try making some hints and then ease into the actual telling. See how she responds to the hints?

 

"Why aren't the girls here as fun as you?"

"I'm really having a great time with you."

"Have you ever fallen for a friend?"

 

If she responds in a good way, then tell her you'd like to try DATING her long-distance. If she responds in an off-putting way ("oh don't be silly.", "er, thanks", "ew, no!") then that is your answer to keep it as a friendship!

[pinkelephant]

Now that I've seen my friendship with my ex bestfriend of 5 years burned to the ground because we dated, I don't think dating your friend is such a great idea. But I guess, it really depends on the people.

 

We werent compatible, but that didn't show when we were friends, at all! I knew we were different people, but I always thought we were complimenting to each other. Boy, was I wrong!

 

Anyway, the only advice I would give is that- being friends and lovers, they are entirely different and people have different dimensions (its not that they're two faced or whatever, but somethings in a relationship will bring out what you've never seen or you'll begin to see things in a different light). MY advice is to take it slow if you do go into this.

Start flirting a little bit, then take your time and starting flirting a lot more, etc...