Age...Sex...Love

[DDRFreak]

First of all i need to get it out there, I'm 18 and my gf is 16. Right now I'm currently going to college about an hour and a half from her. I only see her on the weekends that i can get away. A full time student and part time work fills up my time pretty tightly.

 

The thing that's on my mind is... we have been together for almost 7 months now and are really close, REALLY close. I've been really stubborn about not going to far, but recently things have gone farther. The thing is, I don't know how to explain to her how i feel. I've told her before that i don't want to risk anything with her.. I truly love her and if anything were to happen i couldn't live with myself.

 

First, Is it wrong for me to be so close to her at this age? Second, How do I keep myself from taking things too far and explain it to her?

[Managor]

Could you explain what you mean by "risk anything with her", do you mean breaking up or something else?

 

I don't think it's ever wrong to be that close to someone, at any age, as long as you're both comfortable with it. And if you want to be cautious, I think just telling her you'd prefer it if things were taken slowly should be enough. Luckily the holidays are coming up for you so college should be out of the way for a few weeks and you two can spend some more time together

[DDRFreak]

What i mean is, I don't even trust birth control. Even if the chance is one in a million. Any chance is too much. I love her with all my heart and i couldn't stand the thought of ruining her life like that.

[Managor]

There are a lot of things in life with chances less than one in a million that could ruin someone's life, so I don't think you should let a very slim chance of pregnancy be the only thing stopping you two from progressing. Besides, an unexpected pregnancy is hardly guaranteed to ruin someone's life. Also there are plenty of further countermeasures in case a pregnancy did happen, though I'm sure I'd be yelled at by people here if I ever suggested abortion or similar notions.

[DDRFreak]

even if she's still living with her mom? I just don't want do do anything that could mess up either of our futures..

[Managor]

You've already said you don't want to take things too far, so you're making all the right choices. Just let her know you want to take things slowly, and why

[bitbit]

i've heard of and known a few people to get pregnant while on birth control. however, none who used condoms. if u want to be extra safe, wear a condom and pull out (but hold the condom as you do so) and there should be virtually no risk. make sure u keep the condoms in a cool environment, and that none of the ones u use are expired and you shouldn't have anything to worry about. i think the truth of the matter is that you're not really ready for this step and you're looking for something to validate your aprehension. you're allowed to be nervous and scared about sex. it's ok... i know you're a guy and you're supposed to be a walking sack of hormones according to society, but it's just fine to want to take things slow and wait it out. she'll feel like she's worth a lot more if you want to take things slow.

[Siriana]

You seem like a really nice guy and honest person. So I think you are worrying about things that woan't happen because you're not that type of person.

I think she's very lucky to have you as a bf. And I think her mom who she's living with already figured out you're a good bf.

[DDRFreak]

You may be right... It's not like i don't want to have sex with her. not at all! i just really don't feel right about it before marriage, I've always thought that, for me, sex is something worth waiting for. I think it may be that we'll both have to settle for those things just under sex for now and if it goes a little farther than I will be prepared.

[Lonely_1]

I think it is great that you are wanting to wait a while. Another reason to worry is that you are 18 and she is 16. There could be legal problems there. Do her parents know about you and are they ok with the relationship? Even so, say you did get her pregnant, at 16 she or her parents could become angry and scream "statutory rape". Are you willing to risk your future for that?

[Straightj06]

there is only one type of birth control that is 100% effective, that is . . . no sex atall. If you really are worried and its stressing you out this much, then perhaps you just need to wait.

[Managor]

I think it is great that you are wanting to wait a while. Another reason to worry is that you are 18 and she is 16. There could be legal problems there. Do her parents know about you and are they ok with the relationship? Even so, say you did get her pregnant, at 16 she or her parents could become angry and scream "statutory rape". Are you willing to risk your future for that?

 

The age of consent in Utah is 16 for women and 18 for men. It is perfectly legal.

 

It would actually still be legal if she were 14 or 15, given that he's only two years older.

[DDRFreak]

I think it is great that you are wanting to wait a while. Another reason to worry is that you are 18 and she is 16. There could be legal problems there. Do her parents know about you and are they ok with the relationship? Even so, say you did get her pregnant, at 16 she or her parents could become angry and scream "statutory rape". Are you willing to risk your future for that?

 

Lol yeah, her mom and entire family love me to death. They keep hinting at how it would be great if I were to *caugh* stick around.