very uncomfortable with myself pretty much all of the time

[igoturhey-oh]

ssooorrryyy

[GQstatus]

Are there any gay clubs/bars/cafes in your area? Or even try looking up some personals for lesbians, get to know a few over the net if you're shy. People in general are shy, just gotta force yourself out of the shell once in a while and experiment.

[buddafleye]

I'm in the same position as you. Most of my friends, since I left elementary school, were/are guys. I'm pretty feminine, but I still relate to them better on a friendship level. I find girls too catty and competitive all the time. I lost my best friend (girl) because she was jealous of me. That sounds weird, but I'm not going to explain the situation in fear of outing myself to potential readers (!)

 

Anyway, I have no idea what to do to experiment with girls either. I keep getting crushes on my profs and TAs, which clearly is not going anywhere. I absolutely refuse, REFUSE, to attend a gay bar or LGTBQ club at my school. I have feelings for girls, definite sexual feelings, but I will NOT label myself anything for anyone until I'm absolutely positive. And I can't do that until I meet an actual girl! It's hard because I find real life, normal girls my age don't interest me. I want someone older or I want someone I can't have.

 

I'm not uncomfortable with myself, but I'm uncomfortable with the fact that I'm still not 100% clear on my sexuality because I can't seem to get an experience with a girl.

 

I'm really not keen on hitting up the lesbian personals online because that's just super shady to me and not at all how I become attracted to people. Attraction for me comes when you look at someone for the first time and their look alone gives you major butterflies. Then you spend days sneaking glances at one another, etc. I can't skip that fun part by going online just to experiment with someone. I wouldn't do it with a guy and won't do it with a girl.

 

So... sorry I have no advice for you. hahah. I can blab on some more though.

[igoturhey-oh]

its ok if you dont have advice, at least i know im not the only one. i dont really know what the hell im doing. i want to experiment but i dont want anyone on my life to know what im doing but i dont want to do it alone either. so i guess im going to have to suck it up for a while. that sucks