igoturhey-oh

its ok if you dont have advice, at least i know im not the only one. i dont really know what the hell im doing. i want to experiment but i dont want anyone on my life to know what im doing but i dont want to do it alone either. so i guess im going to have to suck it up for a while. that sucks

ssooorrryyy

when i was in high school i thought i couldnt wait for college so i could start my life. meet people, get involved, do something anything besides sit and brood. well im in college, for about two years now, and all i see is every one passing me by, living the life i want to live. even my friends from high school who have moved on to college seem to be doing great making lots of friends and generally growing as people. earlier this year and part of last year i battled a deep depression, not even wanting to leave to house except for class and sometimes not even going. and now that i feel things are looking up a little i still have that feeling in my gut that things are never going to be great, they are always just going to be bland and uninteresting im still a virgin and there's nothing wrong with that i know and thats not the root of all my uncomfortable-ness but all my friends have crossed that thresh hold in their lives and i feel like they dont treat me the same and they cant have the same convos around me because of it, even tho i could care less they seem to be uncomfortable. and i feel like that alot im the source of everyones awkwardness. its most likely all of my own self doubt being projected back at me but whatever. point is i see sex as this thing that happens and then you change (not always for the better) and im just not ready for that yet. not to mention now that i am not as depressed i have a job and even tho i used to keep to myself most of the time i started to branch out and actually have conversations and come to find out people think im a lesbian, then i found out my friends from home think i am. and that just puts me off even more. because internally im dealing with those feelings, i dont think i am, but having everyone's two cents in my face isnt helping either. how do i get myself out of this rut? everyone is a potential and perpetual let down. is it so bad to want to just be alone? it seems to be the only thing thats working right now, but even so, i want to be alone but then im lonely and think that maybe socializing wouldnt be so bad and then get let down again and again, its a vicious cycle. any one else know what i mean?

the best thing to do is give him time to get over it. but you did say alot about how you feel about your friendship even if it was by accident. its good you feel remorse for it but yeah thats pretty harsh, try and email him so you can get out all you want to get out if he wont pick up ur calls. other than that i say just give him time. in this case a lot of time. this is coming from someone who has been stood up by my friends on "accident".

yeah i just re-read that post and realized i sounded like a sixteen year old girl. i am actually twenty (not a huge gap, i know lol) and in college sooooo yeah im not some dumb air head. contrary to popular belief. haha anyway yeaaah

hey sorry for the vague subject heading, i just need some opinions on this, good or bad i dont care i just need something besides my own get-me-nowhere train of thought. well let me say first off that i dont know if im a lesbian or not, im most def prob bi. but i wont know until i can really get out there and see, anyway most always i have thoughts of a sexual nature running through my head as i am a virgin as well. lol YES! anyway ok so i have this group of friends, and one of my guy friends has a gf who used to be gay....which in my opinion means she is still clearly interested in women even tho she's been in this relationship for a long time. i can just tell she still likes girls just the way she acts and the things she says. anyway everytime i hang out with them and she's there i cant be myself because i think she's gauging everything i do trying to see if im bi, or les or whatever. i cant take it. i cant look at anything too long i cant look at her too long or i feel like she's trying "make a connection" through our eyes. i hate that * * * *. because even if i was she wouldnt be my type. haha. so what is this? all in my head. i want to be able to be myself and not worry that she's breathing down my back all the time. i get enough of that from my parents believe me. help! haha evil bat lol

well being a female and a virgin its a little diff, but we're both human so maybe you can relate, i think about sex alot, and not just alot, alot alot. in the back of my mind i know its prob not natural so naturally i try to do things to keep me side tracked. i set aside a time at the end of the day (if i need it) (which i usually do) to think about sex and nothing but sex and what i'd want. and during the day when i find my mind drifting to it i say "hang on a sex..uhh sec, there is a place and time for this" and store away what im thinking and feeling for that special later time. to put it off sometimes makes me want it more at that time. but i wont lie to you sometimes i think about sex just to pass the time when im extremely bored at work. it works. just understand we cant help it, especially if its the thing we want the most. ANNND if u and ur girlfriend are semi serious i wouldnt put the pressure on, so to speak, but dont hide what ur feeling if ur feeling hot for her tell her, she may reconsider her options. i know it would make me hot to know my bf wanted me even if he knew i didnt want to do anything. hope this helps even a little bit

sometimes, well most of the time really, i feel different from everyone. even when i was a little girl i knew i was different and now here i am twenty years old and i cant put my finger on it. the thoughts that run through my head are so abstract and just out there i wouldnt know where or who or how to express them. i feel like a liar. the only time i go out is when i go to work or have to run an errand. i mainly stay in, watch tv, get on the computer. sometimes ill go see my friends but thats only about once or twice a month. and every time i come back from spending the night with them i always feel like it would have been better for me to stay home. in other words how i feel the next day isnt worth being aroung them. but i still go to seem them even tho i know ill feel like that the next day. these are the friends that i made while in college (taking a semester off now) but i know in the back of my mind i dont really like them. that kills me because i had an idea about "making the friends youll have the rest of your life" in college. and these people ive known for two years i cant even stand. i dont know what is wrong with me. i saw a therapist because i was getting really depressed. i thought it was helping but really it just made me feel worse. he said i probably had avoidant personality syndrome, but sometimes i dont know, i feel like i want to be around people and fit in and be a part of something but when i try i cant stand the way they look at me. most of the time i just want to tell everyone to * * * * off. i feel like people are all talking about me when i walk by. am i just parnoid? what is it? anybody else know what the hell is going on? im very cynical and negative, its just who i am, so i understand if this doesnt give me any answers i just want to know some one else can even comprehend what im saying.

i get the same way sometimes, i was at a bar with my uncle who was introducing me to a few people he knew there. my parents are biracial and my uncle is on the white side, when the bartender met me she said "what happened?" i let it slide but in the back of my mind all night i couldnt help but think "was that supposed to be a derogatory comment? and if it was why would she say something like that" and on the other hand i was thinking i was over reacting and its not a big a deal as i was making it. either way it kept me from really connecting to people all night because i couldnt get over it. so what i mean is, maybe we should find a way to take things with a grain of salt and say if thats how things are supposed to be then thats how it is and thats all. just somehow let it go. i dont know how to do that yet and im working on it. but yeah i would just try to think about things in perspective in the long run

well ill tell you, our positions are very similar but a little reversed. i fell for my best friend and then he told me he was gay. so its a little different, automatically i accepted he was gay, no problem, granted my heart was broken but its easy to get over when you know he likes other guys not girls. well anyway over the next few years after he told me i recognized little things with him that makes me think that he could be bisexual, like being physically attracted to other girls. He has confessed to going down on another girl, but even tho i know his personality is just "im going to do this and its not going to mean anything other than what i feel at that moment", i still think he's a little bi. so yes it is possible and as for your feelings for him ill tell you even tho i did have feelings for him, as the years passed on we're coming up on about ten years being friends, i could not be in a relationship with him. but thats just me. diff strokes, diff folks

yeah let me tell you i feel the same way about one of my friends that does that. what i do is wait until i have his full attention and then continue talking. unfortunately guys arent capable of multi-tasking. ie checking out girls and listening or chewing gum and walking. fact of life. over time i realized that theres nothing u can do. if your in the middle of a point, snapping seems to work.

w-t-f is blocked out? * * *!

thanks for all ur responses. stopit: i am in college and i thought all this would end by the time i got here, i know what u are saying and these people are definetly wayyyyy literal, didnt even think about describing them like that but thats how they are. and we are similar. at first our friendship was fine then it turned into lets play odd man out or in my case woman. thats what it seems like. another thing, they talk behind my back and i dont get to hear about it but if someone initiated a convo with me about someone else then what i said always gets around to them and im the bad guy. * * *?! im about done with these guys. guess you guys are right. im a f-ucking loser! jk

if thats how you talk thats how you talk. i personally am female with a monotone, low voice, its not very feminine and i hate it at times, ive tried trying to put some pep in my voice and i find that feel fake, not really who i am. so i suggest that you find something funny or a quip to say anytime someone suggests that ur from the south, cuz ur obviously from florida...two different things.

hi, im having a difficult time opening up to /being honest with my friends because im afraid they will judge me. it seems every time i choose to open my mouth i think about what they will think and what they will talk about when im not there. it keeps me from getting close to people and more often than not i find myself using sarcasm which only draws people further away from me because they don't "get it". another thing is i find myself lying about things that i dont really feel or didnt really happen, or they did happen and im just stretching it so they will at least hear what im saying or kind of relate. ive tried just not saying anything but i feel like im missing out that way. and when im honest i feel like no one is really listens or cares. they all just kind of stare or they look at each other. i have two major feelings when im with my friends, am i the smartest one in the room or is everybody else on a different level than me and im the one that doesnt "get it". these are the friends that ive made since moving to a different state, meeting people and relating to them was never this hard when i was back home. why is it? are people in this state really that much different? i find it hard to believe. any suggestions?

hate to sound negative but you have to maybe acknowledge that it all might be in your head. the only way to really know is to ask her, or make a move. either one! tough situation. and im sure you notice her everytime she walks in the room, how can you stand walking right in front of her and her not acknowledging you. just some perspective.

well let me see if i can explain this how im thinking. being a virgin and a woman ive only really masturbated using my hands, and if ur with a woman, they generally use their hands to give you pleasure so you can kind of know how its going to feel but i dont know what a penis feels like, because ive never felt it i cant really fantasize what it will feel like. see what i mean?

i dont mind when people talk about me behind my back, its bound to happen and it does so im not upset with my friends for doing that but i feel like im being isolated because they talk about me but are just reinforcing opinions and things that arent really me. so that when i do hang out with them i feel like im misunderstood. the reason behind this is because when i say something they always look at each other as if they've talked about it before when i wasnt there. and that makes me feel like im not even worth being around. i moved to another state to go to college and it was difficult for me to make friends. i feel like i am only friends with them because when i started college two years ago they were the only people that wanted to hang. what do you think should i just ditch them? try and seek out new ones? or stick with them, i mean it has been almost two years we've been friends but every time i see them i wish i was by myself. not to mention they think they are the smartest * * * * on the planet (both males by the way) not saying guys are bad they are just the only people i seem to be able to get along with. and now these two are acting like they are married, they only share things with each other and never really talk to me any more. when all three of us used to be really close. they are the only people i could really talk to and now i feel left out of the loop, because the things they talk about away from me are always kept from me but the things i talk about with one of them they always talk about with each other. im not sure what to think. i dont have alot of friends here so if give them up then im back to square one, i want to move back home everyday.

"outside fun button" funny way of putting it!

well i guess it takes more for me to get aroused by thinking about guys, but i still do. i always thought it was because i dont know what its like with them, being with a woman is like being with yourself (if your a girl) right? maybe thats just a way to rationalize it. tell me what you think?

whoooooahhh

well i would like to start off in a straight relationship, but not completely lose those feelings i have about female im kind of stuck you see

hard to do, moved to a new town people seem way uptight compared to where i used to live. masturbate quite a bit tho, its a flip of a coin what i fantasize about, could be girls could be guys. what does that mean? bi? how would i even know if i havent had the experience

oppurtunity never presented itself, or maybe i just dont know what the hell to look for

sorryyyyyyyyyyyyy