Christmas question

[Cindersam]

I have been in NC with my ex of 6 years for the past 6 weeks. I still love him and like many of you am hoping that maybe given some time and space his feelings will change. His sister sent me a Christmas card. Should I send her one in return? I do not want to be rude. It's difficult being part of a family for 6 years and then suddenly not only do you not have contact with your ex you lose the entire family also. But since it's not my family I don't want my ex to think I am trying to get at him through his family. Suggesitons PLEASE

[laboheme]

What kind of relationship did you have with his sister? Did the two of you spend time together without him? I.e. could the two of you be considered "friends"? If so, I think it's okay to send her a card in return. If she sends you a Christmas card when she's aware of the situation between you and your ex, I'm sure that she is understanding enough to tell him that she sent you one first if he makes a fuss over the one that you send in return. Just make sure that you don't make it a sappy card ("Please take care of your brother now that I can't do that anymore" won't fly).

 

I guess it all boils down to whether or not you want to send her the card. Do you feel she deserves one? If so, go for it.

[Cindersam]

Thanks! I think I will. No we didn't really spend time without him but it was a long relationship so I kind of felt part of the family. Yes she knows the situation between us. SHe sent me a birthday card about 2 weeks ago with a comment that she would miss me. I sent her an E-Mail in return thanking her for the card and saying that I would miss her and her family also. I did not mention my ex - just kept it short. I think I will send her one I just don't want my ex taking it the worng way. He usually spends Christmas at her house so I'm sure he would see it and I don't want him to think I am over stepping my boundaries or trying to get at him through her which I am not. But I also think it would be kind of rude of me not to respond. I know it seems like such a little thing I'm just not sure what the correct response is considering that I don't want to push him away anymore than he already is.