Yes! Found my soul mate...but

[Racer]

...Its not my wife.

This is baaad. Where to start...

Married 12 years. 2 kids. Not a bad marriage but one more like a good business partner rather than love. My wife is a wonderful person and a great mom. This makes my guilt that much worse. I love my kids more than air.

 

The problem... let the flames begin

I have fallen DEEPLY in love with a friend who also works for my wife and myself (separate businesses) and lives accross the street from us. This story can't get more complex so I will try to keep it as simple as possible. The woman is 15 years younger than me and we have been close friends for 5 years. I have been attracted to her for the past 3 years. Over the past 4 months we have been seeing each other romanticaly. We have realized that we love each other deeply. The feelings I have for her are based on our strong friendship first. The intimacy that has followed has been like nothing I have ever felt in my life. When I am with her and look into her eyes I know that she is my soulmate. I constantly think about her to the point where it is hard to conduct my daily life. She is 100% in love with me as well. No, it is not lust (for the sceptics) I never wanted this to happen but it has.

 

Telling me to walk away from her is like telling a drug addict to walk away from the drug. Its not that simple. I truly love her and I am afraid of loosing my true soulmate. My main concern is that I don't want to wreck my kids with this. My brain is ready to explode. I have set up an appointment with a Psychologist. I hope there is a non-judgemental person on this board that can lend some real advice. Anyone with a similar experience???

 

 

Thanks,

can't think, not even breathe

Racer

[Arzs]

WOW...As I read your request for advice I found a lot of similairties in my own situation. Although the young lady I am interested in does not work with my wife nor is she friends but she is 13 years younger and I feel very strongly towards her as you do about your young lady. It was very difficult to tell my wife but never the less I did. Although my wife hadn't done 1 thing wrong, the spark just wasnt there any longer. Granted maybe we should have worked on putting the spark back, but the amount of love I have for this young lady surpasses what I had ever felt for my wife. My wife and I are seeking couseling to make the split as smooth as possible for our children. Surprisingly enough she is taking the whole ordeal very well.

 

My advice is to sit down with your wife and explain to her how you feel. Be honest above all else. She deserves to hear the truth. Twelve years together is worth at least that. Confess your infidelity and suggest to her that you two seek counseling to try and work through this. Maybe not work for you to but for your children at the very least. Young minds are so fragile yet so forgiving. The love of children is unconditional. I hope that all works out for you. Keep us posted.

[Morrighan]

I would also suggest talking to a therapist/counselor before talking to your wife. I'm not at all saying that you are crazy. I just think that you need to sort your feelings out before involving your wife and children. Also, I know that you care a lot for your neighbor, but you should be fair to her and to yourself and stop being "romantically involved" until you can figure out where you're at and what you are going to do. Don't ya think? And I agree.. you should definitely tell your wife what's happened once you decide what you are going to do. She deserves to know.

Best Wishes!