Dealing with anger towards one's self ?

[4answers]

Hi Guys, As most of you know I have been in a break up that involved unusual curcumstances.

 

I had a lot of anger issues, over the break up. With hindsight, they would not of been as bad had I iniated No Contact straigtht away. But you live and learn...Doh!

 

I am however struggling with the feelings of anger, over the break up, my reactions, my anger and its affects.

 

Has anyone had any experience of how best to get rid of the feelings of anger when they are directed towards yourself ?

[papalazarou]

Go to the gym or do something where you can hit or kick things like a martial art or sport or something!

[dnozzle]

I went through the anger stage also. It is one of the normal stages of coping with loss. Denial, bargaining, anger, acceptance.

 

I started with anger at my GF. How could she do this to me? To US? How do you just walk away from something so good? But then, I turned the anger toward myself and started to realize that I did have a part in it. I had pushed her too hard too fast and didn't listen when she tried to give me warnings that she was cracking from the pressure. Instead of beating myself up for it, I wrote down all the times I wished I could repeat and do differently. Then I wrote down how I would handle the situation if it came up again. It made me feel better to have a plan, and to acknowledge that I DID have a part in what happened.

[4answers]

Hi guys, thanks for the replies. I will have done what you suggested Dnozzle, not pleasant reading.

 

My anger issues caused the original break up, then prevented a repair and drove the girl away. This was fuelled by frustration over the situation, the girl did not help matters, but I should not need her to act in a certain way to prevent me from being angry and lashing out.

 

Due to this I was horrible, nasty to and have given someone i care about a totally wrong opinion of me.

 

So I have a lot of anger over the situation, my reactions, my actions and the loss of the relationship because of this !

 

I am going to look into anger managment, this hopefully will prevent this from happening in the future because I will / may be in a position to prevent the lashing out.

 

But how do I deel with the feelings of Anger/ Guilt / Hurt / Loss all caused by myself which makes me angry !!!! ???