Whats the best thing to do in this situation?

[Ikatu]

Hello, I have a friend who i really care about, in fact i like her more than a friend and she likes me in the same way but right now she isnt ready for a relationship. But thats actually not the issue right now, i just wanted to state what kind of relationship/friendship we have.

 

The problem is this. Me and her talk just about every night, and usually if one of us cant talk that night we usually just send a text to each other to let the other know we wont be able to talk. (Yea, weird i know, but its just the way things go between us). So anyways, tonight she sent me a text message saying exactly this, "im sorry i cant talk tonight cause i am just really upset about a lot of things and i just wanna go to bed. i dont want to talk about it. sorry i will call u tomorrow". Instead of calling her i sent her a text message saying exactly this. "Aww, im sorry to hear that, and im here if you need me, talk to you tomorrow, goodnight *hug*". Now, what i need to know is, if she tells me this, to me it means she would get upset if i did call because like she said, she doesnt wanna talk about it and just wants to go to bed, but should i have called her anyways? I mean, im just respecting her wish here and i dont want to upset her by calling when she tells me she cant talk, and at least i replied with a text. Is that ok?

 

The reason im confused is because, once a long time ago, this happened, and i didnt call. She got upset at me and i told her sorry, i should have called. Then it happened again a while later, i called and she didnt pick up the phone so i left a voice message saying that i hope she's ok and i called to talk, and then about 5 min later she sent me a text message saying "i told you not to call, dont worry about me im ok i just want to be alone and go to sleep."

 

So please, can anybody tell me what the right thing to do in a situation like this? Because im kinda worried right now that she might be upset with me for not calling tonight, and i need to know if i should have called even when she tells me not to..

 

edit: in the second paragraph i forgot to add in my text reply, so i edited it in.

[in_the_mirror]

first off i am going to appologize because i am guilty of doing the same. i know that girls are fickle like this. we say we don't want guys to do something, but we really do. quite weird and kind of mean i know. but if you want to be sure you can text her again saying something along the lines that you are worried about her and ask her if she is sure she doesn't want to talk about it. that would be your best bet....again i'm sorry that girls are the way we are....otherwise we couldn't keep you on your toes all the time.

[Ikatu]

first off i am going to appologize because i am guilty of doing the same. i know that girls are fickle like this. we say we don't want guys to do something, but we really do. quite weird and kind of mean i know. but if you want to be sure you can text her again saying something along the lines that you are worried about her and ask her if she is sure she doesn't want to talk about it. that would be your best bet....again i'm sorry that girls are the way we are....otherwise we couldn't keep you on your toes all the time.

 

Yea... I had a feeling that was the case. But you know, anytime i do manage to talk to her when she's in a bad mood or upset about something that somebody else did, 95% of the time she wont even talk about it, no matter how hard i try. She'll just sit on the phone all quiet, barely saying a word, and barely even hears me talking. So the whole time i end up just talking to myself while trying to get her mind off it.

[luvursmile]

I think if you guys are as close as you say you are, and she tells you she doesnt want to talk about it, just let her be. Sometimes, we just need to be alone & figure things out for ourselves. I think you did the right thing.

[Ikatu]

I think if you guys are as close as you say you are, and she tells you she doesnt want to talk about it, just let her be. Sometimes, we just need to be alone & figure things out for ourselves. I think you did the right thing.

 

Wow, okay that actually makes me feel a whole lot better!

Thanks

[luvursmile]

no problem! My BF is the same way and thats how I deal with her.