Rebound?

[bella321]

Is the next person you date after getting out of a long term relationship always a rebound relationship and destined to fail? What are your experiences?

[Blue Skittles]

I agree with Michael. If you are not over your ex and your feelings for the new guy are just someone to be with so you won't be lonely - then it is a rebound. Sometimes rebounds work out. I had a friend who married and had 2 children with a guy who was originally just a rebound. But a lot of the time, the person you are with senses that you are not over your ex and it ends after a short time. Or, you finally move on from your ex and realize you are not in love with the new guy. Both situations can happen.

[laboheme]

No experience in that respect yet, but I think that if you take enough time for yourself to heal after the breakup and stand on your own two feet for a while (ie be okay with single life), the next relationship won't be a rebound and won't be destined to fail. In fact, it should have a better chance of succeeding because you will have "found yourself" again.

 

Also, the date of the breakup doesn't always correlate with when the feelings ended. Somebody can fall out of love but still be with his or her partner (out of habit, I suppose, or out of pity) while already moving on emotionally. So by the time the actual breakup happens, the dumpee is devastated (if they were clueless) but the dumper is fully ready to date again.

[shes2smart]

Last bf I had, I was with for about 2 years...we lived together for about 1 yr of that time. Caught him cheating on me end of June 01. By the end of Sept 01, I met and started seeing the guy I married. We got married just over a year after I broke up with the last bf.

 

To an outside observer, I suppose that could all look very "rebound." However, as the person who lived it, made those choices and is part of a healthy and ridiculously happy marriage for 4.5 years and counting, I look at the relationship with my last bf as the necessary evil I had to endure to get to the good stuff.

[valenski]

I believe that what you put in is what you get out (although this is not true all the time), what you put into the relationship is what you get out of it. As for rebound relationships, I think its a horrid and selfish behaviour because they end up hurting someone looking for a genuine relationship. Take all the time you need to heal as though it might be unintentional, we pass on our hurt to those closest to us.

[jessicake]

i think that sometimes rebounds can turn out to be meaningful relationships if you are at the right mind frame...

 

Lke at the beginning you might still be into your ex, but in due time, you might find that you realli like this rebound guy and he turns into your next relationship properly before you even know it! thas what happened to me once a while ago. (but of course, all good things come to an end! ) hehe

[EddieRentz]

I think it really takes time to figure that out. The woman who just broke up with me, I was with for 6+ years and thought she was the "one"... well she was the first person I dated after the messy break up of a 1.5 year old relationship.

 

I really think it depends on the person.