i care more about others than myself.

[deejay74]

i have always been this way.

 

in recent months, and perhaps years, it has subsided a little bit but i still find myself putting others before me.

 

ever since i moved to NYC, i have noticed that more people here seem to be so wrapped up in themselves, and care about themselves, more than anything. is it wrong that i think this is incredibly selfish? my ex gf was like this and i am finding many people, including my friends, seem to have adopted this mentality while living here, or when they moved here.

 

i haven't changed that much with regards to thinking about others. my ex gf really did a number on me and showed me how selfish someone can really be. she dumped me for her own selfish reasons. it was as if i was getting in her way - perhaps i was a bit but in relationships, people make sacrifices and compromises.

 

when i am in a relationship, i think about my gf a lot! i get pleasure in making my gf happy. well, after my last relationship, i think i am going to put myself first, not only in my next relationship, but in everyday instances. i mean, everyone else seems to be living that way and getting what they want, so why can't i?

 

why do i feel that i am in the minority and that thinking of others over me is a problem? again, don't get the wrong idea, i think of myself when it's necessary and i don't let people take advantage of me or walk over me. it's just that i think i think about others more than most people here in NYC.

 

any thoughts or comments are welcome.

[silentalways]

i was thinking about things i was thinking about [lol]

 

anyhoooo, i hear ya. i am the same way. its not a problem doing that, its a good thing. don't change that part because, like me, it is probably a core thang and what makes u the great person u are. everyone is different. never feel bad about something like that.

 

for a nickel i will

[formerly my 2 cents]

[kb109]

where have you been all my life? LOL

[silentalways]

i believe kb's message was fer u dj. never pass when someone sends ya comp dude!

[Dako]

I think people like a thoughtful selfless partner until they see it as a weakness, and you become person who wastes your time on noble causes. At first, they enjoy your thoughtfulness and enjoy the attention.

In time, they wish you'd bring home more bacon and stop giving away the farm.

[deejay74]

where have you been all my life? LOL

 

uhh, i've been right here?! where have YOU been?

 

I think people like a thoughtful selfless partner until they see it as a weakness, and you become person who wastes your time on noble causes. At first, they enjoy your thoughtfulness and enjoy the attention.

In time, they wish you'd bring home more bacon and stop giving away the farm.

 

right. that's what i have been thinking and i hope that's what i've learned. it also relates to how i am no longer a "nice guy". but i won't get into that.

[arrrrffff]

I use to think that way and I realized that it wasn't really getting me anywhere.

 

I know it sounds selfish but it is not. Everyone must concentrate on THEMSELVES FIRST. You must be successful, healthy, happy, amongst other good things BEFORE you can make others happy. If you don't do this, you'll find your own life not really going anywhere. Why? Because you put all of your energy into other peoples lives.

 

Putting all your effort into a relationship, sets you for more hurt then you should experience when you lose that person because your so attached to them.

 

Being a gentleman or lady is great. Just don't go overboard. You have to be happy yourself to make others happy.