To Announce NC Or Not ?? !!??

[kadvati79]

I with the dude on this one. My question would be: What do you have to gain by announcing NC?

[BONO]

I with the dude on this one. My question would be: What do you have to gain by announcing NC?

 

A powerful way forward without doubt ???

 

 

Scruff

[Ellie2006]

Announcing No Contact is like showing your hand in poker. Why would you?

In essense you are basically saying "I'm too weak to talk to you, I can;t handle it". Not doing ANYTHING takes MUCH more strength in MY opinion.

 

 

I agree w/ LB.

 

But in my case, I truthfully owned up to him that I WAS weak and respectfully asked him to help me heal by respecting my wishes to cut off all contact bc that was the only way for me to move on.

 

I may be delusional but I think my asking him for help in maintaining NC was a good thing bc he knew I wasn't trying to hurt him but was only trying to heal myself. We still cared for each other and I am very grateful to him for his help.

[silentalways]

ahhhhhhhh, the lovely topic of no contact! lol

 

personally, no contact is a new concept to me. never been 'thru' it before until my recent dust up - so, being a blabby kinda guy, i didn't get with the program right away. my opinion of nc? i hate it. communication rawks. this is my flawed take on nc - if used because u no longer, ever, ever, never, never, in a zillion billion years wanna be with this person again then, yes, use it. just tell them so they don't start acting all loney tunes on ya. if u want time to heal, again, yes, but say that. if u are using it to get someone back, shame on u - tsk, tsk! lol

 

for a nickel i will

[formerly my 2 cents]

[majord23]

To announce or not to announce...hmmm.

 

Each time I have announced it - when my motivation was reconciliation - I have regretted it. So next time (if there is one ) - I know what I'll be doing.

 

But if there is no motivation for reconciliation, then I would ask yourself this scruff: Does the person you are 'implementing' NC on actually *deserve* to be told?

 

Have they acted with decency and respect towards you, and given you no reason to hold a grudge?

If so, explain your NC.

If not, leave the explanation and just move on.

[BONO]

To announce or not to announce...hmmm.

 

Each time I have announced it - when my motivation was reconciliation - I have regretted it. So next time (if there is one ) - I know what I'll be doing.

 

But if there is no motivation for reconciliation, then I would ask yourself this scruff: Does the person you are 'implementing' NC on actually *deserve* to be told?

 

Have they acted with decency and respect towards you, and given you no reason to hold a grudge?

If so, explain your NC.

If not, leave the explanation and just move on.

 

 

Thank you.

 

If someone treats you with total disrespect then no games at all. Move on and tell/show them that. No messing around !

 

 

Scruff

[Firedancer03]

If you are looking for a reconcilliation down the road, it really doesn't matter whether or not you announce NC to your ex. That will not be the deciding factor in whether or not they come back to you. They will come back to you because they want to be in a loving and committed relationship with you---as in, they have decided that you are what they want. Not because you did or did not announce NC.

 

And if you do not want reconcilliation in the future, then I agree with majord. If they have treated you with disrespect they no longer deserve anymore of your time, so no explanation needed. If you have nothing against them and feel they have the right to know, then by all means, explain away