I have never felt so bad in my life...

[NickA449]

I am a 23 year old guy-not too far out of college-and have been dating a great girl on and off for about 2 1/2 years now. We haven't lived in the same city for about a year now, but she is moving here in a week. I went to a wedding last weekend (without her) and ended up getting really drunk and the next thing I know I was hooking up with another woman (who knew I had a girlfriend I might add). I know this was my fault, but this girl totally seduced me and I have a feeling has wanted this for awhile. The next day and ever since I have felt horrible-physically ill and have had sleepless nights. I love my girlfriend and now have no idea what to do. I haven't told her yet because I think we should talk about it when she gets here, but she will be staying with me while she looks for a job here. This is the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life-I have never been the cheating kind. Although the likelyhood of her finding out about this one night thing (because that is all it was) is slim, I believe she should know. I am not a bad person, I just made a really bad decision. I have had friends tell me both that I should tell her and also ones who have said that maybe I shouldn't. I don't want to be dishonest, but I really do love this girl.

[Arzs]

Hmm...Ya you have sure gotten yourself into quite the predicament.

 

I find it admirable that you want to tell her and I think you should. If you really love her then you will not want her to make the move she is about to make and then dum this in her lap. That would be selfish. I have been in a relationship for well over 6 years now with the mother of my children. Recently I have found myself in love with another woman. I was in the same position you are in with the decision on whether or not to tell her. I decided to be a man and tell her. THe outcome was not as bad as it could have been. I am sure that it hurt the mother of my children a lot, but at the same time she told me she was grateful that I told her. We are working through the rough time and seeking counseling. Will it work out? I do not know.

 

My point is, If you really love her then you will go to her and tellher face to face and not wait for her to make a move that she will regret. That will cause animosity and hatred. I am sure you do not want that. Just go to her and explain to her what happened and suggest you two get counseling.

 

Good luck, keep us posted.

[NickA449]

unfortunately, she lives too far away for me to go tell her in the next week. I have the predicament now of trying to tell her on the phone before she is supposed to come-which is so impersonal and wrong...if only I had more time.