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Hello to anybody that reads this and responds, (sorry this is gonna be quite long i think..)


Right now i'm probably the most confused and down (notlike major depressed or anything) i've been in a long time, let me tell you what's happened and what you think...


It all started roughly a year and half ago when my girlfriend at the time decided to tell me out of the blue, that she doesn't think she loves me anymore and that we should breakup. At the time that was very hard to hear and took alot of steam out of me, but at the same time I realized that how can you have a relationship with someone ,if the other person is not into it..... By the way this realtionship was a pretty long one at six years and i really thought this was gonna be the girl that I would marry...


Anyways through the past year and half , we have stayed somewhat friends, I mean i'm not mad at her for what she's done , and I know she's not mad at me, we usually would talk on msn , or once in a blue moon we would go see a movie (once in blue moon = about 3 times since we broke up)......


Last week came another chapter in this (at this point we haven't talked in a bit mainly because we are both busy with school) so i come home and i see she has left me a message on msn, so we start chatting and a few mins in the conversation she is like ... oh i have something to tell you , i was like okay... she says I've been seeing someone for the past few weeks ,I wanted you to hear it from me and not someone else....... I can respect her for that for telling me, not that I really wanted to know, but i'd rather it come from her mouth I guess. So naturally it was akward moment after that and we kind of went quiet and then she said... you must be upset because you've stopped typing and you never asked about him (now like i was gonna ask about him anyways lol) we kind of ended communcation after that cause we both had to go at the time.... oh yeah she threw in the classic stuff about me being a great guy and that i'll find someone special with the time comes etc...


So this brings me upto now, I ended up deleting her from msn, not because i was mad she's fully moved on or that im jealous, just because at the time I guess I kind of felt it was time for me to fully move on and try and break away from talking to her etc.... But the past few days where I haven't talked to her i've been feeling down, it feels like i've been stuck in neutral or something she's moved on and i've not gone anywhere yet, I mean it's been a year and half and not even had a date since (well I could earlier on the break up but I wasn't too fond of dating then..)


So I guess what i'm trying to get at here, is that do you guys think I did the right think in deleting her?


Should I avoid her in uni..(we seriously go to the same university and pretty much in same faculity , only that she's a year behind me)


I don't know i'm just confused as to what to do, my mates say that I should be well on my way to recovery by now, but I don't know, I still feel like * * * * alot.


Thanks everybody for listening.

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Yeah man, you did the right thing. Actually it's something you should have done a long time ago. Whenever a girl breaks up with you, it's never wise to immediately resume a relationship with her, platonic or otherwise. What invariably seems to happen is that the breaker moves on faster than the breakee.


You're right. You have been stuck in neutral the whole time you've been keeping any kind of communication with her. You haven't allowed yourself to have a clean break in order to move on.


I wouldn't avoid her at school. That would be working to hard. Just do your thing, man, just like you would be doing if you had never met her. If she calls you, just keep it short and superficial and avoid going into any serious conversation. Also, you must be the one to end the exchange. Personally, I wouldn't hang out with her unless you're forced to (like what happens when you have mutual friends), but definitely not alone. If she happens to get you at school or in any social situation, be cordial, but not overly fixated or engaging. Keep it short, whatever you do, or you'll get pulled back in.


Its a game you gotta play, and until you learn how to play it, you're going to be "mister nice guy" or "sweet". The only time you'll be able to extend a little more of yourself to her is when you finally feel that you have moved on or you're dating someone else (which you shouldn't even have to tell her).

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Thanks man, eveything you said makes great sense!


Luckily she hasn't called me in a LONG LONG time, and I don't expect it to start anytime soon.


It's been a rough go so far, but everyday gets a little better, 2 days ago was my birthday , and she left me a message on msn , saying happy birthday.. (i deleted her but never blocked her) anyways i just said cheers, she never typed back and we left it at that, i'm proud of myself for not getting in a full fledged convo with her.


I'll try and do what you say in school, I just cross my finger I don't see her much next term, it's almost like that bob dylan tune, positively 4th street ... where the line goes "what a drage it is too see you" .....


thanks a bunch !

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