Unsure how to proceed

[boundforglory]

I've never done the LD/online dating before. About a month and a half ago a girl found me on myspace. We started talking and really have quite the connection. I didn't know it was possible to connect with someone through words on a screen, and a voice on the phone. Anyway, I've fallen for this girl harder then I've ever fallen in the past. We usually chat online while she's finishing up schoolwork (she's a college senior, I'm in my mid-twenties), after that it's usually pretty late and we get on the phone and talk until we fall asleep. Even though we are not physically together, I feel so very close to her. She is very wary of the LD thing, because of that, she won't commit to being together until we've met...or ever, I don't know anymore. Lately she's taken to reminding me that were "not together", and told me that even if we hit it off in person, she thinks there's only a 30% chance it works out LD. I'm trying to play it cool, but inside it's crushing me. I don't want a LDR forever. If things do work out, I would gladly pick up and move closer to her, but to make a move like that I would need a commitment, and she knows that.

Is she trying to push me away? How should I proceed? I just don't know what to do.

 

Thanks

[musicguy]

she's not pushing you away at all, she's being realistic. Just keep on doing what you are doing and when the time is right then you two will meet and then go from there. Good luck.

[The Law]

LD'S can only work out if you two come together for good. so live with her.

[zippitt]

IMO it's time to meet up with her. I would schedule a ticket to meet her sometime, no longer than a day or two. See if she up for this, if you sense disinterest I suggest you forget about her. Also if you do meet up prepare for the worst, that doesn't necessarily mean expect the worst. Just be ready on how to react if things don't turn out as you would hope.

 

Don't make excuses, just do it or you will drive yourself mad, until you get this over with you will never know.

[boundforglory]

Hey there,

I agree w/ zippitt. Have you guys made any concrete plans to meet up in person any time soon?

If she won't commit to being together before you meet face to face, will she at least commit to meeting face to face in the near future?

If she is NOT willing to meet you within the next couple months or so, IMO, you should cut your losses and let her go ... (just my two cents worth)

 

Take care and hope things work out for you!!

 

Hi Ellie.

 

I'm going to be going out there for a night or two in mid-late Jan. I should make clear that I never asked her (and wouldn't) to commit before we've met face to face. I'm just terrified that we have this great connection, but that she won't commit out of fear of it being hard.

[boundforglory]

Just a little update.

 

When we talked last night she said straight out that she doesn't think this will work. She said the distance would be to hard. I told her the distance is temporary. Then she said that that's another thing. If I move closer to her I'll expect a relationship (which she said is totally understandable), but that's a lot of pressure on her she said. She says she's being realistic, I tend to think she's being realistic, but kinda pessimistic too. I care about this girl so much, and I just don't see myself meeting another girl like her, here in my area or anywhere else. Any new advice?

[boundforglory]

I was thinking the same thing Ellie, I just wanted a second opinion before I acted, so I would do anything irrational.

I just need to figure out how now. I don't think I can handle just being friends right now.