goin crazy here// ex wants to see me..but why?

[krnswte143]

we broke up 3 weeks ago....and was in contact for a little..and he wants to see me........why? he is the one who broke it up n saying "i dont want to be with u now" why does he wanna see me? for what reason....

 

i can only think of 3 things.

 

1. he wants to get back and he misses me n realizes he made a mistake

( i did ask him if we did solve the problem we were having, would he stil want to b w/ me he said dunno, its too soon to tell)

 

2. he wants to have sex with me. (if this is the case, oh boy that wil be the end of me talking/seeing him ever!) i dont do these things. not me. he could go find someone else.

 

3. he wants to say good-bye ( once again) a closure....( i dont thin he is gonna come see me for that)

 

 

oh btw, he first says he has a gift....i think its an excuse just to see me...im confused u guys... what the hell is going on.....

 

oh when i first contacted him...he said he was jus bein nice and contacting me back......so what does this mean? god damn it... hes freakin confusing me and i told him hes confusin me... * * * does he want from me! (pissed off now)

 

im suppose to call him tonight after i get back from friends party...its stressing me out..why does he wanna see me???

 

i keep asking him....n he says not worry.

 

 

confused

[shikashika]

wait until you see him to ask him.... see what he has to say and then decide what you wan tto do... Don't contact him before you meet him.

 

good luck!

[krnswte143]

wait until you see him to ask him.... see what he has to say and then decide what you wan tto do... Don't contact him before you meet him.

 

good luck!

 

thanks

 

he is online now ... u think i shuld talk..nothin about meeting or anything.. ima talk abut that tonigh when i call him

[DMXtreme]

oh man I just went through the same thing with my ex, she broke it off supposely because she needed to be single and live life, that she didnt want to be in a relationship. She contacted me after I initiated NC. She wanted to see me so she can give me some stuff back. I hesitated for a few days but agreed to see her. I asked the same questions to myself as you did. I wish that I never went that day cause I found out she was falling for some guy that she works with but is still not sure, but boy did she talk about him alot! Bottom line is it took 2 days to recover from that encounter just because she missed me. If you still have feelings for him then stay away cause it will end up hurting you. Be careful and be strong if you do see him.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i think what is causing you anxiety is the 'mysteriousness' of him saying he wants to see you but not telling you why... then dropping a hint about giving you something,but refusing to talk about it...

 

this is kind of a manipulative controlling move on his part... he has all the information, and you are now doing what he wants, which is waiting anxiously see him with no indication of what his visit is about... so this puts him very much in control, while only making you feel powerless and anxious. this kind of setup will give him a lot of emotion leverage during this encounter.

 

if you are really trying to move on and have NC, i would not agree to such a scenario. if he needs to see you, then you can insist he tell you what it is about before you agree to the meeting. i.e., let him know you are not going to be playing games with him, and that the contact between you should be related to a particular purpose, which you agree is a good idea or not.

 

the 'gift' he has given you already is a whole load of anxiety! i would not agree to see him on these circumstances, unless he at least tells you the what it is he wants to talk about.

 

i had an ex- who would do this kind of thing and bring me a little 'present' of some kind, but it was ALWAYS a precursor to him wanting something else from him, and a way of trying to butter me up and manipulate me to get what he wants. I caught on to this pretty quickly, because he was not the type to ever give me little gifts when we were together, so the sudden gift buying after the breakup was his way of talking himself into my house, and then giving him a chance to try to talk me into whatever else he wanted...

 

so don't get your hopes up too much, and don't be afraid. you really are in control if you want to be. make him state his business up front, and agree to continue the conversation or not, depending on whether you think it is right or healthy for you...

 

Good luck!