Emotional Independence

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

As Moneygod asked in my previous thread, "this is a general question, for informal thoughts of people". I am exploring what life is and searching and defining myself. This is the reason I am creating this thread. Any inputs are welcome.

 

1. What is emotional independence to you?

 

2. What is the different between depending on your partner for emotional support, being too clingy, and emotional independence?

 

3. Has relationship makes you emotionally more mature?

 

4. There is a saying, "Love make people insane and blind." What is your opinion about it?

 

5. How to be emotionally self sufficient?

[Daddy Bear]

1. What is emotional independence to you?

 

not caring whether your partner stays or leaves.

 

2. What is the different between depending on your partner for emotional support, being too clingy, and emotional independence?

 

it's a matter of degrees, i think. our emotional outlines overlap a moderate amount in a healthy relationship. too much, and it causes suffocation in one partner or the other; too little, and detachment occurs.

 

3. Has relationship makes you emotionally more mature?

 

well, every experience makes us a little wiser, so i guess that would be a yes.

 

4. There is a saying, "Love make people insane and blind." What is your opinion about it?

 

they forgot "weak".

 

5. How to be emotionally self sufficient?

 

i'm not sure about that one, although 'not falling for anyone' comes to mind.

[FortunateOne]

1. What is emotional independence to you?

 

To me it's being in total control of your emotions and knowing when to express them in a responsible manner. I always ask my self "I feel _____ " to assess the situation and properly communicate my feeling so they don't bottle up and thus avoiding passive aggressive behavour. This is what emotional intelligence and body language is all about.

 

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2. What is the different between depending on your partner for emotional support, being too clingy, and emotional independence?

 

Security in one's emotional being. To truly trust your self is to be confident in all you do. Once this is achieved then the support and clingyness become null and void. This translates to a partner as the security women want from a man that they find irresistably attractive.

 

 

 

3. Has relationship makes you emotionally more mature?

 

Well, not for me since I apply what I read, and boy do I read a lot. It's amazing how almost all the answers to life are in books. Thank God for his word and the gift of the academic world.

 

 

 

4. There is a saying, "Love make people insane and blind." What is your opinion about it?

 

Only to emotionally unhealthy people, for once you develop a positive mind set changing blindness and insanity makes the people love each other.

 

 

 

5. How to be emotionally self sufficient?

 

Brainstorm as many self help books, and therapy if needed, to learn, practice and condition your new paradigm as a beautifully healthy person that another beautifully healthy mate will want to be with and marry.

[Shadows Light]

1. What is emotional independence to you?

 

I'm with Slightlybent on this one. Not looking for your partner to "make" you happy... find your happiness in yourself. Loving yourself and being kind to yourself. respecting yourself first. I'm not talking about narasistic kind of love either. lol. or arrogance. ick.

 

 

 

2. What is the different between depending on your partner for emotional support, being too clingy, and emotional independence?

 

I think emotional independence comes with maturity. Again... looking for someone to be your end all to be all is Obsessive and oppressive. Its not fair to yourself or the "object" of your desire. Being "clingy" to me is objectifying a person.. and not respecting their autonomy.

 

3. Has relationship makes you emotionally more mature?

 

Hopefully with each new experience there is a new learning.. and growth. In a positive way. I think with healthier life experiences you do gain wisdom and emotional maturity.

 

4. There is a saying, "Love make people insane and blind." What is your opinion about it?

 

Yes... it can be quite intoxicating. I think with age comes wisdom.... and those rose colored glasses come off faster. The honeymoon period isn't quite as intoxicating. Just like learning to drink as a teen... as you grow older hopefully you learn your.. boundaries.

 

5. How to be emotionally self sufficient?

 

When you can feel comfortable in your own skin. Not have a "NEED" to be defined by someone else. When you enjoy your solitude.. and you can enjoy your own company.

[Daddy Bear]

to me, total emotional independence would imply that you don't need to be in a relationship to feel whole. that might work better when you're not.

 

passion is desire is dependence is need. that's supposedly how we're wired. if a person doesn't instill some sort of passion in another, what's the point of a one-on-one relationship?

[turqoise]

I like what slightlybent said and pretty much agree.

 

1. What is emotional independence to you?

2. What is the different between depending on your partner for emotional support, being too clingy, and emotional independence?

 

Independence emotionally is when you can choose not to REACT to or desire outside objects. Instead, you ACT. REACTIONS are emotions like anger, lust, jealousy, fear, longing...choose to lose these and you`re left with the one sense that isn`t caused by a reaction - love.

 

3. Has relationship makes you emotionally more mature?

no, more experienced. Maturity requires reduced ego.

 

4. There is a saying, "Love make people insane and blind." What is your opinion about it?

it`s relative

 

5. How to be emotionally self sufficient?

Identify areas where you`re not, find their root in your past and yank it out.

Create and continue to expand your own real happiness first. If you practice acting with love, you will give freedom to others and seek others that do the same.

 

(sorry its a bit fluffy...)

[Juliana]

This is a great question.

 

1. What is emotional independence to you?

 

The ability to know my own thoughts and feelings and act accordingly, without worrying I have to change them or someone will punish/leave me.

 

2. What is the different between depending on your partner for emotional support, being too clingy, and emotional independence?

 

Knowing he's there to help me up, not pick me up, if I fall. Knowing he's there to applaud the loudest when I succeed. Knowing he's there to share the things that I see and feel. Knowing that we are together, but different. Entwined, not enmeshed.

 

3. Has relationship makes you emotionally more mature?

 

Yes. It's made me comfortable to take chances I would not have been brave enough to try otherwise, and that has made me more mature.

 

4. There is a saying, "Love make people insane and blind." What is your opinion about it?

 

In a bad relationship, you may think you're in love, when really, you're just suspending your judgment and willing yourself not to see the truth -- insane and blind.

 

However, a good relationship can change you so much, that you may throw other relationships out of kilter, because you are no longer as dependent on previous, possibly unhealthy relationships with friends and relatives -- and they may strike back to maintain the old way of relating by criticizing you, your lover, and your relationship. They may even try to destroy it, him, or you, if you will not go back to being the way they preferred you -- kowtowing to them.

 

5. How to be emotionally self sufficient?

 

Find the truth about yourself and others, and accept it. Sounds easy; it's really hard. Sometimes you don't want to see the truth, and usually other people don't want to help you. That's where your lover comes in handy. Love is all about the truth.

[deathunderoath]

1. finding happiness through yourself and/or controlling your feelings to a degree where it won't affect your concentration and actions.

 

2. i dont think i can answer this, what i consider as having been my only real relationship left me dependant on cigarettes for emotional support during and for a couple weeks after it ended.

 

3. i hope so, still learning and would love to be proven wrong about a lot of things i'm generalising from my last relationship.

 

4. i agree with Juliana, "you're just suspending your judgement and willing yourself NOT to see the truth" sometimes.

 

5. could someone define 'emotionally self sufficient' pls?

[Mrs Elliott Smith]

Well, here's my answer.