narcisstic cheat -help please!

[malaika1]

Beat this! I was doing quite a good job on the ol' NC strategy towards my ex narcissistic boyfriend when his ex room-mate called me today to 'make peace'. It turns out the two of them were in a gay r/ship and apparently my ex had told him i was his needy cousin (to explain why he was sleeping in the same bed as me when i went round)!!!! so we exchanged notes on stuff that had happened and have found out the number of lies told will need a whole website of its own!!! this has pushed me into a stage of disbelief and a rage i didn't know i could have......trying to look for some kind of sanity in all this!!

PS: this is a man who about a month ago declard undying love to me infront of his extended family at a family get together and vowed to 'do good by me'!!! someone show me the way to sanity-land as i am loosing it right about now!!!!!!! wooooow! the pain is incredible, the emotions high!! anyone out there who can relate? PS: the NC strategy has not put him off and he still mails and leaves voice messages on my phones!!! this is the suff that silence of the lambs is made of!! PS: if dealing with the fact that your ex was a narcissist, cheating on you with men is not enough, his ex roomy then mentions that they met on the internet where my ex used the name James.......wait for it......that is his DAD's name!!!!!

[HellFrost666]

My God woman. You need to start writing all this down and sell it to the Fox Network.

 

But seriously, it is in the passed, laugh it off. The whole thing is a little funny when you think about it. Live well, that is the best revenge.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

what a liar and cheater he is! the thing you should remind yourself is that you are FREE of him which is the best thing that could happen... actually it is easier to get over a bad relationship when you realize how REALLY bad your ex- was, once you get over the initial anger phase you are in right now...

 

but i would suggest a test for STDs etc since this guy seems promiscuous with multiple people and lying to all of them... better safe than sorry...

 

you have a right to be very angry, but should put that anger/energy towards leaving him behind as quickly as possible... can you change your email settings to bounce his emails back to him? if he writes a letter, mark it return to sender and send it back unopened. also, you can usually use a block function on phones to automatically block his numbers calling in on your phone... so block his every attempt, and if he shows up in person, tell him to never bother you again, or you will call the police! the hardest part of no contact is stopping yourself from contacting him because you are feeling nostalgic, and you should have no problem convincing yourself to avoid him at all costs after this! so i see this as good news for you in the long run, though right now the shock must be totally infuriating, and i sympathize with you!

[FortunateOne]

BeStrongBeHappy is right. Ignore the contact and it'll go away over time. I don't like being mean, but if he persists a year from now then tell him in a firm tone to leave you alone or his secret might get out to certain people.

[malaika1]

Thanks one and all for the words of encouragement, support and even humour. I am in a better place today, and surely things can only improve - let's call a spade a spade, i was really scrapping the bottom of the barrel with him!! You are all so right....and about that tip to sell my story to Fox Network LOL!, may not be such a bizarre idea - will definitely be a new take on life that hasn't been covered by a recent script so watch this space......just wondering who would play him LOL! Anyway, having got over the initial shock - of being leading lady in a film that i hadn't signed up to.....or at least don't remember getting paid for....I am taking all steps to avoid him trying to get in touch....which includes the 'threat' that if he does, i will not hesitate to get in touch with his family and tell them what he really is about! He needs professional help and I am not a professional psychologist, so he needs to re-direct his energies to someone with a PhD. of sorts!!!

 

Here's to life and happy living!!