Spanking a children as discipline isn't considered abuse!

[Fallout]

That is disgusting and definitely abuse...maybe she loving them is sort of a stockholm syndrome...like when you read about all the abused women here that still love their abusers.

 

The thing is everyone takes it differently....and I know hard spankings like the one described above, slapping pulling hair etc. can deeply damage a child emotionally for many years if not for life.

[yeawutever]

Yea I was so disgusted by it too, the sad thing is the girl's gonna ruin her children's lives' by doing the same thing her dad did to her. Hopefully by the time she has kids, her children get taken away from her.

[AwdreeHpburn]

I realiise this is merely my opinion, but I believe that physical punishment is for those who can not think but can only respond.

 

I say this because I have a very short temper. I lose my temper quite often with my children and my body wants to grab them and shake them and get rid of the anger physically. Its natural I suppose, I WAS raised with "physical discipline" after all.

 

Hitting was a knee jerk reaction for my mother. For her, a slap, swat, or a hair grab was easier than thinking about how to resolve the issue.

[luvursmile]

I think a little spanking never hurt anyone, quite the contrary, you learn! I was spanked as a child (only a handful times) but it sure as heck made me learn my lesson. Straightened my out!.

[Fallout]

Actually luv, it has hurt plenty of people. Just because you didn't react adversely to it does not mean noone does.

 

Besides, keep in mind it's one thing to give light taps to a 5 year old and another to give painful lashes to 13-15 year olds.

[AwdreeHpburn]

If it doesn't hurt anyone, what's the point? I thought hurting them WAS the point.....Maybe they're not doing it right.

 

I was "spanked" plenty too. And if DID hurt. But maybe I'm sensitive....oh wait, no, I was 4!

[bleeding]

Spanking seems to me an ineffective way to discipline a child.

 

It may or may not hurt, but it sends the wrong message:

 

"Physical violence helps solve problems."

 

In my opinion, it says that we are not able to talk or sort out emotions without resorting to getting physical. That doesn't seem right.

 

When I see a big adult lay a hand on a little child. That's not right. There are other ways to promote discipline.

[yeawutever]

Indeed there are altenative ways, yet it's basically your own frustration in which you want an easy way out, only that only solves it temporarily (just in that moment), but may not have a long pernanent effect when it comes to moralities/values, you knowing it's wrong.

[darkblue]

I think the emphasis nowadays is more towards tolerance and punishment through isolated time to think (for children, and to some extent teens) and taking away items (all age groups).

 

Either way will work, but it depends on the individual to make a judgement call on what to do.

 

I don't think anyone should dictate how to discipline your child, unless it is brutal - hence unlawful.

[blush]

I agree with you " Darkblue "

[bleeding]

I was beaten by my mom as a small child with slippers and whatever she could pick up. It made me extremely angry and rebellious but I don't remember a single lesson I learned from being hit. I don't even know why I was hit, I just know that I was and that it made me hurt and want to throw things. Being hit made me want to lash out violently and externalize the pain and I hated feeling helpless.

 

I really think brute force and violence creates more injury and wound way beyond the intent. This is from experience.

 

 

 

Oh yeah, and the "guy" that abused me viciously. He was beaten as a small child and look how he turned out - completely cruel and violent and messed up.

[yeawutever]

Oh yeah, and the "guy" that abused me viciously. He was beaten as a small child and look how he turned out - completely cruel and violent and messed up.

 

It doesn't really matter. At the end he is the only one responsible the choices he's making in life now as an adult. It was in his hands whether to follow the same pattern of abusive behavior and get punish as a consequence or improve and get better in life.

 

There are many people who were abuse that learned better what it felt like and don't do it.

[Cloud802]

I was spanked as a kid and I turned out fine, but it wasn't really a bad spanking, just a few smacks that stung a little. When I turned ten it was stopped because I was smart enough to follow most rules. I wouldn't say my spanking was the worst, one time my entire room was stripped except for a bed and the only thing I could do was my homework.

 

Simply put, spanking isn't really necessary, but if you do it, don't whollop on your kid, THAT's abuse.

[Mr Mister1]

I might be a bit late with this topic but I wanted to get my views in anyway.

 

I consider it to not only be abuse but to be another form of bullying. It's like "do as I say because I'm bigger than you and can hurt you." It's cowardice and shows a lack of ability to disipline properly or teach the children how to behave.

 

I've seen a few quotes around saying "don't worry that your children don't listen to what you say, worry that they see your actions." A child might not always do what their parents tell them to but they generally will DO what the parents do. If the child then goes out and "disiplines" other children in the playground that's seen as abuse yet it's clear where they get it from.

 

It also teaches them nothing, just that their parent is a bully! It gets worse when the parent hits the child even if they did nothing wrong simply as a result of other problems (yes I'm speaking from experience here). Of course then any "disipline" is meaningless.

 

Parents shouldn't make themselves out to be policemen, they should be like mentors, teaching children how to behave and leading by example. Like many things you should try outsmart the child not outmuscle them, that will just lead to resentment later on, and beware if the child becomes violent as a result of this "disipline."

[blush]

its never too late!

 

Blush

[rocio]

I agree that it's a form of bullying. It is very humiliating for a child to be turned around and slapped on their bum. I can understand slapping their fingers. But on their bum, it's sexually humiliating (yes, even children have a form of sexuality).

[Miss.Emo]

yes it is because sometimes people go to far you souldent spank your kids ther other ways of handeling things