At this point...all is lost...please help me.

[miss888s]

for those who dont know, i have broken up with my bf of 3 years. it was ude to religion AS WELL AS him falling back in love with his crush at high school.

 

We went to relationship counselling yesterday and in some way it provided closure to me. he does not love me anymore. he is in love with someone else now. and i know this because i read the text which she sent to him today.

 

i just want to DIE. i cannot go on anymore. i dont know what to say. i just cant say it. this post makes no sense. all i know is that i will never love again. how can i not love him? what do i tell myself?

 

i have not been eating..i dont have the appetite. i wont force myself to eat if i dont want to. i just feel like i want to sleep forever but i cant sleep at night because i dread waking up in the morning.

 

the counsellor said that she was worried about me and that i need serious intervention from a psychologist. like that is going to help me. nothing can. please someone just help me end this.

[kryptik0]

miss,

 

Breakups can be very tough, like the one you're experiencing right now. I have been there too and have felt exactly the same way you are. Please know that this stage will pass and you'll come out stronger and you will be happy again one day. Pain can heal, and time is the only solution. I know nothing will calm you down much for a few days, but slowly you will start feeling better. If you have broken up with him, you need to follow NC rules, absolutely no contact whatsoever.

 

I am sure other more experienced people will have a more well written advice for you very soon. Hang in there and dont let your spirit go down. You are gonna be just fine.

 

Here is a bear hug for you.

[miss888s]

thanks cryptic. i cannot describe how painful the hurt that i am feeling right now. sometimes i just cant breathe. it feels like there is this heavy object on my heart. it is soooo painful i feel like i could die from this heartbreak.

 

everynight i cry myself to sleep. just facing the facts that 1. we will never be together again and 2. he loves someone else and not me. i just dont know how i can survive this. 3 years and it meant nothing to him. he said that he didnt love for the last 2 years. those words just kill me.

 

when i read the text message i was hurt so bad i felt like i was having a heart attack. how could it be so easy for him to leave. to not love me. to love someone else. to forget everything that we have been through. all our memories together. please i just feel like dying now.

 

he didnt care that i was rushed to hospital on friday night. he said if i ever end up in hospital again dont look for him. dont expect him to be there for me. i brought this all on myself because i didnt know how to handle the pain. he said he would call my family and get them to deal with me.

 

i still love him. only God knows how i feel for him. i will always love him because i know what a kind generous and caring person he was. how can i move on. when will i move on. im scared to face the future without him.

 

eveything and everywhere i go i see pictures of us together. we have been everywhere together and everything reminds me of him. i just cant take life anymore. i just want to die.

 

its his birthday this friday and he wont even bothergoing out to celebrate it though he promised that we would.

 

please..i know you guys say that this will go away but i cant and i dont think i can do this on my own. please help me.

[kryptik0]

miss: check your inbox on enotalone

[Derailed]

Miss, i know it hurts. Its no consolation, but you are not the only who has had her heart broken in this fashion. A lot of us are here for that same reason. I am still coming to terms with this myself...

 

How can someone who loved you with such intensity, suddenly flip over? Hard pill to swallow. But this didn't happen overnight. Whatever the reasons are, we just have to accept it. Its not an easy task, but lets focus on just getting through it one day at a time. Just let the emotions wash over you. Cry, you will feel slightly better after. Don't forget to feed yourself. If you can't eat, have some milk in your fridge, and some soup handy. Get some chocolate, it helps in the depression, I heard. Just anything to give your body nourishment. Sleep as much as you can. Do anything, even little things, to care for your body. Have family and friends around you.

 

Stay strong. Lets get through this together.

[BillyJean714]

Unfortunately, you're just getting a bitter taste of reality.

 

Reailty isn't pretty. People do things to hurt others; they betray those who love them most. You're learning more about people.

 

Sorry this happened to you. I hope you find the strength to move on.

 

Take a day off and try to find yourself again, or at least do things you enjoy doing, because you are hurt right now. Or, go to the bookstore, and read up on things that interest you. That way, you keep yourself busy.

[miss888s]

thanks everyone..i really appreciate all your words of support and advice. i suppose at this stage it hard for me to really follow your words. i just cant let go. i need the strength to do this. i have lost too much over the years and this episode in my life is what i feel the last blow that i can take.

 

if my own dad cant love me...my own bf cant either..there is nothing left guys. im 24..how much more can i take. im just sick of it and i want it to stop.

[Derailed]

It will stop! It will lessen as the days go by, and sometimes you will have a relapse, but its all part of the show. I am just counting on the thousands of people here on ENA who say that time will heal us. I'm waiting for that day too. Till then, lets Keep fighting.

 

Everyone is deserving of love. I know its hard to take this in. I'm suffering just like you, and I would actually benefit from my own advice. Its hard to see things clearly right now, our emotions have us by our necks. Feel your emotions, but don't act on them.

 

It seems, from the mention of your father, that you have underlying issues. It may be a good idea to seek professional help for this if you are able. This would be wise to do. We need to do whatever we can to help ourselves.

 

Keep posting! Keep ranting!

[miss888s]

im of to the GP tomorrow to get a referral for professional help. i dont know how it will help. im crying now. it hurts so much. when will it end? what is he thinking now? i suppose he doesnt miss me. he doesnt love me. God please just make this end. please.

[Derailed]

"A champion is someone who gets up, even when they can't."

I read that in one of the old posts here. It gave me some boost, when I was down and low the first few weeks of the break up. Make it your mantra. It may not be much, but its a start.

 

We can do this.

[miss888s]

derailed i admire your courage and strength...i took half the day off again today. will be seeing my GP later for a reference to see a therapist. its so hard. i didnt want to wake up today. i didnt call him last night. i wanted to but i held myself. now i m thinking about him. it hurts. i just dont want to give up. i dont want to let go. i dont want to lose him.

[kath123]

miss888s

i have recently been in your situation its been 6 weeks since my partner left me, at first he gave a false reason, but shortly afterwards the truth emerged and he admitted to have met somebody else. Initially i was thinking the exact thoughts that you are now.

how can he possibly love somebody else as much as me!

he is making a mistake and will realise this soon!

how can i go on without him in my life!

I will never again love anyone this much, nor would i ever want to!

 

The list goes on and on,but now ,and remember this has only been six weeks,i realise that he wasnt the wonderful person i thought he was,because such a wonderful person wouldnt have hurt me so much.

In fact,i would go as far as saying He wasnt the person i thought he was PERIOD.

I have now got to the anger stage in the breakup and i can tell you its much easier to deal with than the devastated stage.

You will get to this stage and probably quite soon, especially as he is now acting cold and unfeeling towards you,my ex did this to me , i hadnt done anything wrong to cause our split,but he acted as if it was my fault even though he had been unfaithful.

I dont know what my next lot of emotions will be, but i hope it will be acceptance so that i can move on freely with my life.

Everyone here will all say the same thing "it takes time" and i know from my own experience how true this is. you are now at the worst stage of all ,shock and disbelief and the worst pain imaginable, but it will change.believe me.

you must must take care of yourself physically,you must eat ,i know you dont want to but you are going to have to be strong in the next few weeks and for that you need to be well.

I hope your doctor can help you more emotionally, and remember we are all here for you,everyday, so just keep going and keep posting.

love kath

[Derailed]

Goodluck, Miss. Tell us how your visit went.

[miss888s]

okay guys just came back from my GP. i instantly broke down and cried when she asked me what was wrong. i poured my heart out. it really hurt when i told her everything. i told her how i wanted to die, that i wasnt bothered to even look after myself, my hospitalisation. everything. i just cried and cried.

 

she gave me some pills. and i have taken one today. she said that at this point i am in such a fragile and weak state of mind that counselling wont help me. she wants me to have a clear and stronger mind and only then will i see any sense in what my counsellor says. in a way i am disappointed with this but what can i do. i suppose i will just hope that the meds will take my mind off things.

 

to tell you the truth, i still feel hurt and sad. i feel like calling him now to ask what he is up to. he hasnt bothered calling or texting me. im so sad. i hope the effects of the meds kick in fast. im just want this pain to stop.

[Dorsay]

I am sorry for what you are going through. My heart aches when I see how much you're suffering. I hope you didn't and won't call him. If he's cold and unresponsive, most likely he will, you will feel even worse.

 

In time you will realize that he isn't as wonderful as you thought he is. I agree with Kath 100%. I just came back from my therapy session--my therapist didn't portray a wonderful picture of my friend. He was happy that he's out of my life. You need to give yourself some time to absorb what's going on and to heal. Please take care of yourself-eat and rest. Get yourself some soup, gatorade and crackers. They are easy to eat. If you didn't sleep well, then take naps. Go out for a walk or a run. You will feel better every week, if not everyday. Take care!

[miss888s]

i fell asleep. slept for about 2 hours. woke up feeling empty, sad. now im jus crying. the pain has become worse. really feel like my heart is exploding. all i can do is cry. i feel so helpless. lonely. sad. hurting. i miss him so much. he would be over at my place now getting ready to have dinner together. i just dont know what to do.

[miss888s]

God help me...im hurting so much now. its his birthday tomorrow.

 

when i read all the posts here when there are people who get back together after no contact..i just cry because i know that will never happen to me. he loves someone else.

 

it justs hurts me so much. we had so much planned for tomorrow. for the future. for xmas. we went through so much together. good times. hard times. EXTREMELY HARD TIMES. and everything is down the drain. how can he...

 

i may not make it tomight. im sorry

[insofar]

You will get through this and your life will get better.

 

You just have to trust us with that. 90% of the people here have gone through something near as painful as what you're going through now, and we are going on, things are improving.

 

Some day, you will find someone who will love you for who you are. You won't need to change for them, and they won't see someone else as being more "exciting" or whatever. Your future is not empty. For now, though, you can make things better for yourself by working on you. Go spend some time with friends and family. They can help you heal more than I can say.

 

Trust me, you'll be OK.

[miss888s]

insofar, in a way im relieved that i am not alone in this situation, but it hurts me to see so many people sufferung because of love, being dumped. i only wish the best for you guys. i would NEVER wish this kind of hurt on anyone. it hurts like hell.

 

today is his birthday. we made plans together but last night he said he wasnt sure.

 

its true. i feel empty. sad and alone. its just too hard for me.

[terk2021]

miss,

 

I fully can relate to your posts. It's been 4 months since my fiance canceled our wedding, and she did it 3 weeks before it. I kicked her out of the house about 3 months ago. I have never really been religious, and she got me to go to church, attend a marriage prep class... I have still been talking with the minister that was going to marry us.

 

It was always difficult for me to understand why she did what she did. I bought her her dream house, and gave her everything, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially. I have been seeing her off and on for the past 2 months, and it's been pure hell...

 

The minister ultimately gave me some great advice. Remember that God is looking out for you, and he may have saved you from much more pain and suffering down the road.

 

Revenge is not a great motive to have, but you have to trust that everything happens for a reason, and he may have saved you from something much worse. Your guy is out there. Don't give up...

[miss888s]

Terk, i have read your other posts...hang in there my friend. it is a challanging time and i pray that you will have the strength to get through this a a wiser, stronger and happier person.

 

do you know what hurts me the most? the fact that we will never have a future together. no hopes of us reconciling because he wont accept me anymore because i am not of teh same religion. and also because he is in love with someone else. someone who he can see a future with. someone who he said will make him happy and feel accepted by God. Someone who he said he should have been with long ago because she is Christian and because being with her in a relationship will be more blessed than being with me.

 

why did he want to be with me in the beginning when he knew that he never wanted to be with me forever? why? why did he love me, the affection, the plans, the hugs and kisses. everything. i ask myself this everyday and it gets worse.

 

i dont know how i will get through this. i dont know how much more i can take. it is just too much for me.

[terk2021]

That is very cold... It's amazing how some people in this world can be. Don't take this the wrong way, but the false hope is what has been killing me the most. She tells me last night that she is still in love with me, but needs until the end of the year to figure things out. In the mean time, she has been spending time with her ex-husband and telling me it's for her daughter...

 

Getting walked on sucks...

 

My prayers are with you, and I hope you find strength as well. I told her last night I would respect her space until the end of the year... I am with you. All I ask is WHY WHY WHY...

 

It's been 4 months for me...

[miss888s]

i had lunch...alone..and i felt pathetic that i started to cry. it hurt so much just imagining that i would never have meals with him ever again.

 

i took the day off work. just told the office that i wasnt feeling well. at this point i dont care if i get fired. my life is over anyway. now i just feel like giving the other girl a slap. i hope she is happy with herself.

 

my chest gets really heavy and i find it hard to breathe everytime i think of him. thinking of a future without him. Gosh im just repeating myslef. but these are my feelings. im just so sad its so hard to face this.

[sandyv]

Hey Miss888, I've been in the same situation as you, just devasted, but recovering after about 7 weeks. Took time off work, didn't care... just like you...

 

To get to the point, I got called into the Manager's office last week... and they "are concerned about my work performance".... yikes... never had that problem before....

 

Miss I know how much your hurtin... but you've gotta take care of you first.. you need that job right.. know I do, but having said that I know about the not caring anymore feeling too... don't let that other girl win... she'd probably be glad to hear you got fired! Do the basic things you gotta do.. I know its tough but in the end you will feel better about you.. and thats what counts!

 

Hugs

 

Sandy

[sandyv]

I also felt that horrible heaviness in my chest, but its much better (altho still there sometimes), and I wonder how he could just stop caring in a New York minute, but he did, and I can't change that apparently, as much as I wish I could.... but guess what ... he hasn't forgotten you, I found out my ex hasn't about a week ago.... things didn't work with the witch he ran away with and now mutual friends are saying that he misses me....

 

A couple of weeks ago I would have broke NC hearing this, but not now.... I'm stronger and I'm guarding my heart, he won't get to me that easily, it would take alot for me to even consider forgiving him.....

 

So what I'm saying is repetetive, but keep putting one foot in front of the other, and keep going, you WILL get through this......