So we are getting back together, how do we do it?

[JSaint]

My ex and I have started talking after 10 weeks of NC. We have been together 2.5 years. We have acknowledged our problems and decided to work on our relationship. It has been awkward, the first time we saw each other was uncomfortable at first. He has suggested lunch tomorrow but I think we need to meet for dinner so we would have more time, I think we should just jump in with both feet. After all, you can't unring a bell. I just need advice, this is such an emotional time. Any advice will help

[laboheme]

With all due respect, I don't think you should "just jump in with both feet." Even though you've been together 2.5 years, you can't assume that this is a continuation of the old relationship and that you can pick up where you left off. If you try to do that, you run the risk of not resolving those problems that you have acknowledged. Plus, if you suggest spending more time together right away, it might scare him off. I think lunch is a good start, it will give you a chance to intrigue each other enough to meet for dinner next time, and go from there. Take things slow...in fact, I wouldn't recommend having a heated discussion about the relationship right away, unless he brings something up. Think of it as a sort of a first date, and behave accordingly.

 

Good luck!

[Phoenix69]

Believe me, I know exactly where you are coming from. My bf and I are back together for the third time. You MUST MUST MUST adress the issues that caused the break up in the first place. ESPECIALLY if the cause were based on issues of trust, infedility, and other such emotions. If there is pent up anger, you MUST MUST MUST deal with these issues before you start a new relationship. Remember, this isn't just picking up where you left off, it IS a NEW relationship and you must treat it as so...

[JSaint]

Laboheme thanks so much for the advice, we met for lunch and it was great. We have plans for dinner on Wed.!

[laboheme]

Oh, I'm so glad to hear that things went well! Hope your dinner on Wednesday is just as great!