ex dropping hints?

[toonicegirl]

im in a situation that i cannot figure out my ex are staying friends right now (only via internet) and there was the time, like a month ago that he was initiating contact like everyday (online or cell textmessages)....he tried to find out if i have a feelings for him...there was also one or two acts of jealousy from his side... he also brought memories from our past in e-mails... we are broken up for six months...i did nc for like 2.5 months and he broke it

 

it doesnt really matter why we broke up .... what IS important it this what's going on right now...i still have feelings for him but try to act not interested...i dont want him to think that he can have me on a back burner... he joked twice that he loved me...two months ago and then a week ago

 

 

what actually bothers me lately is the post i read somewhere telling that the dumper can change his/her mind and wants you back but for some reasons he /she cannot come out and ask. Instead they might just drop hints hoping you will ask them...

 

do you agree?

[Jamiegirl]

i totally agree. maybe he does want you back and is hoping that you will ask him and hes trying to bring back old memories to hope that u will feel the same about him agian. but if you have feelings and possibly might want to get back with him, then just tell him how you feel simple as that.

[mikeca]

yes, communication is vital, you dont want to be strung along, months? years? before he changes his mind one day.

[toonicegirl]

but it's not that easy...two moths ago when he wrote to me that he loved me i asked him what he wanted...and he was like: i just love you as a friend, im too busy to have a girlfriend right now

 

i wrote back to him, that i needed to hear that cause i was confused

but he didnt stop messaging me...it became even more personal after...

 

i kinda moved on... but his hot and cold behavior intrigues me

[toonicegirl]

but what if he just wants to hear that i still love him and want him back to boost his ego... i need to make him work hard so then i know that he really cares

[Juliana]

You don't have to make him do anything; what do you want to do? Whatever you decide, you have to be sure that it's what you want, and not look to try to control anyone else, because that is a waste of time, and a terrible foundation for re-starting any kind of relationship. You felt devalued by the way he treated you, and it's possible you're feeling it now because of the ambivalent way he is going about communicating with you. Trying to be straightforward when you're talking to someone is a sign of respect; dancing around making you wonder what the h*ll is on their mind puts you at a disadvantage, so that you have to beg them or ask them what it is they want.

 

So before you respond to any of his behaviour, do be clear with yourself what you want. Do you want to re-open a relationship with this guy? He does not sound to me like someone who is going to "work hard" to show you that he does value you, but then, I could be wrong. If he's what you want, I hope I am. There are easier guys out there, I'll say that.