Desperate for advice

[ashlynn00]

It's been 2months since my breakup with my boyfriend. We have recently been talking about working things out, but he doesnt want to rush back into a decision right now. My friends are tired of me being miserable and waiting on him to make a decision, so they are trying to have me meet their guy friends. Me and my ex talk all the time, and are still very honost with each other. I have told him I am going to start hanging out with other guys and start moving on. He asks me all these questions about the guys I'll be hanging out with and then says, " What happens if I decide I want to work things out and your dating someone else." I told him I couldnt answer that right now, that decision would be made when the time comes. I am just wondering what I should do now. Obviously he's still thinking about working things out with me, but then again, i am not sure what to do... Please give me advice

[DN]

Tell him that he has one week to decide if he wants to get back together with you and if he hasn't decided by then you are going to assume he doesn't want to and you are going to move on.

 

And yes - it is an ultimatum. Sometimes they are necessary.

[friscodj]

I have never in my life heard of a couple living happily ever after following an ultimatum. With that said, I believe if it comes down to an ultimatum...it is already too late...an ultimatum won't make someone suddenly not confused and elicit surety in their feelings for you or dedication to the relationship necessary to weather future storms.

 

I also believe his confusion is based on something very real but something he probably can't put into words. That has happened to me before. I think the timing is just off on this, he isn't ready for what you are and/or you guys just aren't a good enough fit to breed surety in him.

 

At any rate, this is making you miserable and I think that pattern will continue regardless with this guy. I would really like to advise you otherwise but I think this is done regardless...