way to much

[candice378]

So this will probably be long I hope someone takes the time to read it...

My boyfriend and I of a year and a half broke up for normal reasons. Were young and he wsnt ready to be in a long term relationship yada yada. So that was devastating but I was working on getting over it. A week later (on my birthday no less) I was walking back from a bar and saw him kissing someone through his window (He lives 3 blocks away from me). I freaked out and went up there and confronted him. I looked around for whoever it was and when i turned around it was my "best friend". More and more unraveled as days went by such as the fact that they had been seeing eachother only days after the breakup (Before we even talked about it being final because he considered getting back together with me)

 

Now they are still "together"> Although he insists they are only friends that make out aoocasionally and she is "in love" with him. She has sent many nastey emails my way saying we were never friends in the first place and that he and her had been cultivating this relationship from day one. (Not like cheating but that they had feelings for eachother)> I know both of those statements to not be true because I was her friend and he did lve me for that year and a half and no one else.

 

Anyway, Yesterday we had to say our goodbyes through email and i cried for the rest of the day because this was the most painful way of losing him i could ever imagine. And now we have to never talk to each-other or see each-other.

 

So now i feel totally betrayed, villinized by the two and like i will never trust again or even want to be in a relationship again because this hurt TO MUCH and i would be so terrified of it happeneing again. Especially because it was ALL a shock to me and i did not see any of it coming.

[JoeWho]

I am sorry that you have to go through this. It is horrible that your ex and your friend did that to you. Best thing for you to do is to completley cut both of these people out of your life for good. You dont need peope like that in your life. Many people have gone through things similar to this and yes it does get better even though you are probably thinking it wont.

 

You are young and still have your whole life ahead of you so dont get too down on things. Just give it some time and you will start to feel better. There is really no other way but to give it time. Stay as busy as you can and do things that you enjoy doing as much as you can. Post on here if things get tough for you. You'll get through this.

[finewhine]

When I was 22, one of my best friends slept with my boyfriend of one year. I know how horrible it is. Take my advice - I'm fine. I recovered from this situation a better, stronger woman.

 

What you need to do RIGHT NOW is to write these people off completely. DO NOT call them. DO NOT answer their calls (and they will call you). They DO NOT deserve your time or attention. Their justifications are worthless. They're wrong - don't let them manipulate you into thinking their actions were in any way justifiable.

 

Next, realize YOU ARE BETTER THAN THEY ARE. How many times in your life do you get to be objectively better than anyone? Crappy circumstances, I know, but revel in the fact that YOU are completely right and they are DEAD

WRONG.

 

Rally up the troops. Get support from your other friends, your family. They will help you recover immesurably, and you will see how lucky you are to have nice people in your life.

 

Betrayal is awful stuff. I've been there. Just realize these people are jerks, and this in no way reflects on you. They are not acting like caring human beings, they are acting like trash. Karma will take care of them someday. This I can assure you of with utter certainty - I've seen it happen to the people who hurt me.

 

Candice, this is one of those situations that will change your life for the better. I know this is very hard to believe right now, but when you survive betrayal, you realize just how strong you are. You are a strong, nice person, far better than these awful people.

[candice378]

Thank you. All your guys advice makes perfect sense...though its always tough to out in practice I have to try as hard as possible.

[finewhine]

Think of them as the enemy for now. It will help you resist when they contact you. Think of yourself as a soldier, fighting for your self-worth.

[candice378]

Just sitting back and watched them do this makes me want to throw up. I know i have to not care but really...I loved him and was with him for a year and a half and a week after the break up i have to watch him kiss my best friend? nd know they are probably having sex and being all couply. Guh.....

[michaelb9689]

Man that really sucks candice...i would definetly finewhine on this one!! i kind of had a similar situation to this but i didnt do what finewhine said but now where i am i know that she is definetly, positively, absolutely right! haha but yea i know its gonna suck but you will come out on top for sure.

 

You are a better stronger person than the both of them Go Candice whoooo... haha i wish u luck mabye someone will have some

 

MLB

[nadine_3110]

Everybody has some trust issues every now and again. I know that what they did to you was low, scumy, inconsiderate and just plain stupid. Just take your time, heal, go out with friends. And when another guy comes along, one you care about a great deal, you're gonna have to trust him. Trust makes the relationship. Without, there is no relationship. I had trust issues too, I couldn't trust that he wouldn't leave again like the last time. But I told myself that if I want to make this work (and I did, so so bad) I have to trust him. You just have to put your heart out on the limb, you have to give them your heart, even though it's broken down into a million different pieces. There is not love without trust.

Good luck!