Is He Really My Soulmate???

[ltorivia]

Although I am only 21 years old, I feel like he is my soulmate.

 

Mike* (pseudyonym to protect his identity) and I have known each other for almost four years now. We are so attracted to each other that we will do anything to spend time together. Although we do have our differences in terms of cultural background, we also share many similarities. We watch similar shows, read similar books, and love investigative works. He told me he feels like he can spend 24 days/7 weeks around me. We are able to compliment each other. He always seeks my advice and in return wants to protect me. He really cares a lot about me, and I like him. No matter what the topic is, we always find a way to have intelligent conversations.

 

Unfortunately, he currently has a girlfriend. He's been dating her for six years. Despite this, he still tries to find time to see me daily. When I tried to distance myself from him, he grew only more depressed. He felt like a part of his soul disappeared and I came back to see a happy Mike hugging me. He loves me like a a sister he told me. Does he have confused feelings or am I only just a 'best friend' to him? He has no problem sharing secrets with me and our companionship is pure non-sexual although he does find me somewhat attractive physically. We are just attracted to each other.

 

Is he really my soulmate???

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Well..no. I don't believe in soulmates as such, but let's assume I did.

 

I'd still say no. Because you'd be together if you were. Because he'd have left his girlfriend for you by now (after 6 years?!). Because he'd have done something about any feelings he had by now. Etc.

 

I think he sees you as a great friend and absolutely like a sister. I had a friend like that for a few years; we both thought the other was attractive and a fabulous person, but fancy each other...nope. Spend a lot of time together, and were totally comfortable with each other? Yes.

 

I'd say enjoy having the brother you didn't have biologically, or another extra brother if you have one or more already. I don't think he sees you as a girlfriend prospect at all. If it's non sexual, it's unlikely to become so after this long.

[agent1607307371]

It depends whether you think that soulmates have to be partners.

 

I think we have a lot of "soulmates" - people that really get us, and that they can play many different parts in our lives.

[Batya33]

Instead of focusing on the abstract lofty soulmates focus on whether Mike has the values you would like to share with a life partner - for example, is he telling his girlfriend that he sees you every day? This is not cheating but it might show that he is not exactly open with his long term girlfriend about who his close friends are.

 

Look for someone who is available and instead of focusing on the storybook romance ideals and "destiny" focus on nitty gritty reality - such as the basic "is he available for a relationship with me."

[ltorivia]

The only reason he has not left his girlfriend is because we still communicate through AIM. I'm not sure he would want to be with me since I'm no where as physically attractive as she is. They look like a nice couple. But I know he feels like he can discuss anything with me. I'm his "best friend" and he respects me.

[gattsuga]

i think once you step into the 'friends only' category... it's very difficult to climb back out of there. it seems weird that he tries to spend time with you everyday... does he spend time with his current gf? has he made any advances towards you? flirted? or has he been a gentleman, and only treats you like a friend.