Dependent mother?

[someguy69]

With single-parentism becoming more and more common, I was curious how many people out there have found that their single-parent is a little too dependent on them?

 

Wherein with the "traditional" nuclear family, the children depend on the parents, with the single-parent family, it appears that the parent may come to depend on the child(ren).

 

In my case, I am a 34 year old man, and my mother (56) has a son living at home (age 13, from a different father). I had moved back home when I was 20 for a few years to help my mother out with raising him, and moved back out for a few years, then moved back home for a few years to help out again, and then moved out again for several years now.

 

My mother expects me to visit every week (I live about 45 min away), and nags at me to move back home again so that we can all "help each other out".

 

When my grandparents died, my mother did not want to sell their house (which is two+ hours away from the city), and convinced me to buy out her sister's half of the house, and that it would be a good income/investment to rent it out.

 

This has essentially resulted in a situation whereby I pay all the bills, mortgage, taxes, etc, and she takes half the rents, often leaving me in the red as far as having enough of the rental income to cover all the expenses, but saying that she is in dire need of it to cover her bills for the house in the city... which is another story...

 

The house in the city where she and my brother lives was previously a bungalow with a very small mortgage left on it which she ended up putting a second-story backsplit on it, nearly tripling its size, and resulting in quite a large mortgage. She claims that she did it with the intention that I could move into part of it and have enough space for my own family.

 

Now she houses a constant rotation of about half a dozen English-Second-Language students who pay room and board

to provide income to pay for this large mortgage. I estimate that so many students would provide a decent income, but she always has an excuse to why she needs to take half the rent from the house in the country, leaving the deficit for me to pay out of my own pocket.

 

She also bemoans how expensive and how much work feeding all these students is, and how little help my brother is to her, and how she wishes I would move home and help her out with all of this.

 

Does this sort of situation sound familiar to anyone?

 

Does anyone have some sort of experience and advice for this sort of scenario?

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

I does not have such an experience.

 

But I do understand that when people are getting old, they are not economic productive as when they are young. So they would cling on to anything that they could rely on including you.

 

Does she has a pension fund?

[someguy69]

56 isn't all that old, but I suppose within ten years of retirement. She likely doesn't have as good a pension built up as she should, although her new giant house will have a lot of equity if she can manage to pay down the mortgage over the next nine years. I believe that she is currently more economically productive than she was when she was younger.

[pinkelephant]

my grandparents are like that. they arent broke, but they always act like they are and ask for money.

 

i think its the old age that makes them senile... and scared or something.