Can't keep organized with anythting! Serious help please!!

[nEwGiRlie]

Hi everyone.

 

I started university this sept. I have already graduated last year and obtained my associates, but decided to further my education, beccause I am into art,a nd the more degrees i have, the better chance I have geting a job that really works out for me.

 

Here is my problem, which is getting me extremely depressed, and paranoid.

 

I have to live my parents for now because I can't afford living on my own. I apreciate my parents letting me stay, so much. But, they are going through a difficult time with their marriage. Theyve been like this for about a year. Dad is cheating on mom, and mom is tired of it. They look like they get along at times, then mom tells me she wants him out, but he wont give in so easily, so he stays.

 

Whatever they are going through, even though at times I feel i should get my nose out of their problem, I think it affects me and find a way to help mom out, because she's the one suffering most. I feel sad that dad at times acts like a teenager. He says stupid and childish things to mom. Anyway, that is not the only problem I have.

 

I have been panicking recently about bills & school. I don't feel motivated what so ever. I dont even feel the need to get out of bed. I am dating someone who is wonderful to me, and he is trying his hardest to calm me down, and help me out. He tells everytime I have a panic attack, that there are people who love me dearly, and will support any decision I make, including him. And the only way I can stop feeling panicky, is to the get off my pretty butt and do something to help myself out, no matter what it is...like working out, or organizing my bills, and keeping up with my payments.

 

College is taking so much out of me, not so much with homework, and schedule conflicts with my part time job, but the costy situation. I can't afford college, yet, I am attending it. I figured i willl always be in debt, so why not start early so I can pay some of it.

 

At times, I regret enrolling, but some other times, I defend my reasons why I did. There is no win win situation, unless I do good in school, and after graduation, I get a job that satisfies me, earn good money, etc...

 

Anywho, I wish I could feel motivation, knowing that I have reasons to, I still don't do it. Honestly, there are times that I start depending too much in other people. Like my parents, my boyfriend, and friends, which I hardly have. I feel old, and I feel like I am running out of time to better my life, to get organized with my bills, my time with boyfriend, and family.

 

I know, this is not a perfect world. I am scared of never being able to be independent. I am afraid of becoming dependent and giving up.

 

Why must I feel so lazy, so lacked of interest? My room is a mess, I dont even check my mail anymore..and it could be something important. why am I not doing the things I thought I enjoyed. For example paint, draw, excercise, do well in school. My lack of interest is affecting every aspect of my life. I am so terrified that if I don't stop this, my life, as I know it, will end up being a pathetic one.

 

How can I manage to get up in the mornings, and either follow a schedule, or so something productive?

I know I have a job that pays a bit, and a boyfriend that is so wonderful to me, but Why is that NOT HELPING ME MUCH??

 

Someone, is there a plan or schedule I should follow?? Should I write down small realistic goals, to start off??

 

Thanx so much for reading, everyone.

[babypink61]

I graduated about 3 years ago and when I was still attending college I would write down on my planner all the things I need to get done and set a deadline for each task. Everytime when I'm finished with something I would then cross it off from the list.

 

I think the biggest reward I received from graduating is getting a well-paid job and being able to support myself on my own.

[BellaDonna]

For the financial stress, the first thing you need to do is make a budget. Figure out how much you make, what you expenses are, including tuition. You may have to cut back on some expenses. If you are attending college full-time, maybe it's better to attend part-time if you're truly worried that you will not be able to pay for it. Don't quit though, if you can avoid it.

 

Try making a "to do" list each day (make it in advance the night before - or other time you feel most alreat- so you already have it in the morning when you wake up)

 

Don't forget to put some time in yor schedule for YOU too. Exercising is a great idea- it helps release tension and it makes you healthier and you'll actually have more energy.

 

I'm sorry to hear about what's happening with your parents. I've been there before, and it's not easy no matter how old you are. Marital confilct and divorce always hurts. Sadly it's not under your control. The best you can do is try to stay out of it and try not to take sides because it just makes it worse. Try not to be the "buddy" that either parents vents to. It's puts too much weight on your shoulders. Yes your dad is cheating, but your mom is also putting up with it. They need to work it out between the 2 of them as adults. Steer clear of the drama if you can. If things are getting too stressful at home to study, go off to the library or other quiet place. Your boyfriend sounds supportive so many you could even study at his house now and then.

 

Hang in there, I think you'll be ok in the end- you just need to motivate yourself to make some changes and try to avoid being a sponge for your parents' problems. Staying in bed will never help you to accomplish that.

 

Cleaning up your room will make you feel a lot better too,

 

BellaDonna