Not interested in putting myself out there

[jules12234]

As I am a regular reader of this board - going through the process of healing and have read such good advice I thought I would pose this question.

 

Since my breakup 3 months ago, I am starting to feel a whole lot better, but I have no interest in finding anyone else at all. In fact, I am quite resolved to being by myself for while. I am just not interested.

 

At the moment I have bit of a downer on the opposite sex - a lot of friends and friends of friends have been treated not too well and I think I am better off on my own.

 

Is this healthy? Does anyone else feel this way?

[laboheme]

Not only is feeling like that okay...it's great!!! There's nothing wrong with wanting to be single for a while, actually enjoying it, and not being interested in others...And look at it this way: when you do find yourself interested in someone, you'll know it's because they're special, not because you're just looking for a cuddle buddy...

[sandyv]

I can totally relate, before my last relationship, which ended about 3 weeks ago, I was alone for 2 years, for exactly the same reason as yourself, tired of the drama, better to be alone, no big highs, but no heartbreaking lows either (safer that way), now I'm feeling the same way, don't wanna go there anymore, it seems I can't win, so might as well move on.... alone rather than to keep putting all my cash into a never winning slot machine... but rather in regards to my ex - * * * * MACHINE.... sorry just venting, he really destroyed me........

[Relationship Coach]

Being a little cynical is normal coming out of break up. I was on a plane once that had an engine fire and had to make an emergency landing, suddenly my 1,278,000 frequent flyer mile just lost all of their appeal!

 

Being alone is a good thing as long as you are OK with it. I think a self-enforced "time-out" is a great idea and I often suggest it. When this certain guy comes around and you forget for a moment what made you abstain, it's time to get back in the game. Spoil yourself and enjoy the down time, let others see that you are OK and not a jilted, crazy , maneater! The last thing you want to do is be a buzz kill or Debbie Downer. You can certainly have fun being single and send a healthy message to those who are closest to you.

 

RC

[ElegantOverkill]

i am feeling the same thing too... its been almost 5 months since my ex gf broke up with me. i am still stuck on her for the moment and having a bit of a hard time with it but i have no desire to "give" to anyone but me at this time. i just wish i could seem to get on with it cause its been 5 months now and im getting kinda pissed because its taking a long time to get over her.

[violingirl]

I don't think that there is anything wrong with the way you feel. I feel the same way myself. My last relationship ended over 20 months ago and, up until 4 months ago, I was going on a lot of dates after the breakup, but did not have much success (none resulted in a relationship). Now, I'm so sick of going out on first dates and asking/answering the same boring questions over and over. I'm at the point where I just don't feel like putting myself out there. I don't care if I just sit at home with my cat and reading a book/watching TV on a Saturday night alone. Yet, of course, I do want to find a relationship and get married/have kids, etc., so it's a bit of a conundrum. I admit that I do feel quite cynical (and distrustful) about men and relationships, because the breakup with my ex was very traumatic for me.

[ranlian]

*sigh*... don't we all feel the same way. it's been 10 months for me since my break with my ex-fiance, but she's dragged the drama for that long as well. so it's like we just broke up only a couple weeks ago. although i've been on a couple dates, i've been feeling cynical as well. i know this feeling will end sooner or later, but i hope it ends soon. in the meantime, i don't mind being single so i can do stuff on my own.