jenna1012 Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 I met this guy about a month ago, he transferred into one of my classes and sat down next to me. And voila, a friendship was planted. I'm super attracted to him, and I love his personality and how smart he is. We've been hanging out a lot just as friends, for the past 2-3 weeks, and it hasn't really gotten past that, but I want to move past friendship....soon, I know he's interested in me, and I'm very interested in him, I just gotta push it. So, we're starting to get close, and I met some of his friends today...one of his best guy friends is pretty racist. I'm half Filipino and half German, and just right in front of me, he was talking smack about Filipino people and completely insulting me. Okay, so it's fine to make jokes, if you know it's not going to offend the person, but he was FULL ON, insulting me, and I was offended, he was purposely trying to offend me, I could tell by the eye contact he was makign with me, but the guy I'm interested in....didn't do anything...he laughed right along with him.... I haven't seen this side of him! He's soooo nice, but when he's put in front of his friends it's like he disregards me and my feelings. I'm completely unattracted to anyone who does that...and after how he acted today, I don't WANT to be interested in him, yet I still am...but I don't want to be interested in someone racist...I guess...I don't know what to do...so that's where you guys come in...? Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 jenna - have you talked to him about that friend of his and what he was saying? Link to comment
n83 Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 He laughed???? Yeah... I'm Indian and if a guy I was interested in laughed while his friend made racist jokes, he'd be OUT. Link to comment
melrich Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Can't say if he is racist or not based on that. He may have just been responding to peer pressure in which case he is a weak character. You should definitely talk to him about it. Tell him how insulted you were and ask him why he felt it was OK to laugh. Link to comment
laboheme Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 This isn't even a matter of him being racist or not...While it may be true that he was just going with the flow, do you want a guy who plays along like that? If he acts nice when you're alone but like a jerk when he's with his friends...that makes him a jerk. Yes, you can try talking to him...but be prepared for him not taking your words seriously, or pretending to agree for now and then doing it again. If you want to get over him, remember this episode...remember it well...and every time you think of him, think of how insensitive he was and how he ignored your feelings. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 I'd lose all respect for him in an instant and with that respect would go all my attraction. If he doesn't respect your feelings enough as a friend whose to say being a his girl friend will be any different Link to comment
jenna1012 Posted October 20, 2006 Author Share Posted October 20, 2006 thanks guys, you guys really put it into perspective for me Link to comment
laboheme Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 PS. If you're having trouble getting over him (I know what it's like to still be interested in someone despite not wanting to!), come back and reread your post and the responses... Link to comment
jenna1012 Posted October 20, 2006 Author Share Posted October 20, 2006 yeah and I'm gonna remember what you said, think abour the incident... I just really liked him...and then I find out that he's a jerk, it's hard to get over him... Link to comment
dr.idunno Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Is that guy blind? Filipinos are probably one of the most attractive people. The women are hot and knows how to treat her man and even the guys especially those of spanish decent are desired worldwide! Link to comment
Just A Teen Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Okay my idea on Racism.... keep it to yourself with whatever dumb reason you have to hate someone based on a skin color or nationality. Anyway maybe you need to lay it out cold to him and tell him you don't like how his friend treated you. Link to comment
New_Horizons Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 I would never laugh if I was in your guy's position and if it were a girl doing this to me I would lose all respect and liking for her. As an aside, covert racism offends me even more than the racist jokes.I've experienced a lot of the former. Link to comment
shikashika Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 just because its a joke doesn't mean its excusable.. Isn't it great when people start out with "I'm not racist"... (but listen to my joke I'm going to tell anyway) Link to comment
Xx7shadesRedxX Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 if you are unclear about the character of a man, look at his friends... Link to comment
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