parnoid parents and how everyone in life is a fraud

[joe45]

why are folks so pessmist and cynical about people and also about making new friends. I was phoning a new female friend from work or be it rec room and just talkin to her, and i guess dad picked up and listened-ah new voice

10 minutes later he tells me to be careful about meeting new ppl and making new friends as everyone out there in life is a fraud artist, user and a con.

example -he tells me how lets say one day ur out in the streets-his favourite example(out in the streets) and you had no money -would anyone give you money and shelter-ah no

 

another example-you hear screams in the park and then u hear gun shots-would you go out and help that stranger individual. -ah no

 

he tells me that most ppl and yes friends out there in life are just using you for one thing or another.

hey lets say one day you don`t have a job right -would your friend help you out and get you a job-ah no. if your out on the streets(his fav scenario) would anyone take care of you and give you money.

 

after he asks me who i was talkin to-in a demanding voice- i ask him why does it matter you don`t even now him or even her. he s like because i have to now -there are a lot of bad bad ppl out there in the world just using you.

 

lol first off i have no money making 2 dollars over minimum wage job and i have no car, but take the bus ,-yea i have money for ppl to fraud me.

 

hes tellin me to be careful when buying a used car becasue teh buyer might -ah yes fraud me in buying a lemon or a stolen car -well yea thats why you go check the vin number , go to veh registration center and get a veh lean check and history report and lastly get a mechanic to inspeect it. i tell him this and hes like ya , but they can still get away with it-some ppl are very good fraud artist and even if they get caught in society just lets them go. hes tellin me how so many ppl cheat their taxes, the government just waste tax payers money on gambling and using it on luxury items for themselves and how ppl in life never ever follow the rules and everyone just cheats , steals, and uses one another for one way or another

nobody is ever ur friend and and even ur friend won`t help u in bad times-no job, low marks, and ...

i tell him yea what can u do, the law is there and its there, you just gotta do what u gotta do to prepare urself from being frauded.

is this a chinese things or is it just my parents being cycnical about everthing

[Fallout]

Don't mind him...he's probably jealous that you have friends while he's all lonely....you can't fix ignorance so don't try!

[renaissancewoman101]

In a way, it is an Asian thing. I am Asian and my mom thinks that way. Also, I think your dad doesnt have much exposure to Western (white) society, does he? Reason I say that is because my mom thinks the way your dad does, while my dad does NOT think that way at all. The difference with my parents is that my mom has always been very insular, never worked in the US, always keeps to Asian culture, Asian friends, Asian areas, while my dad is an accomplished professor at a large state university and so is exposed to life.

 

My mom thinks everybody is out to use you and that at every corner, someone is out to swindle you, hurt you, etc. She warns me about that all the time, even though I am 33 and have not lived at home in 15 years. My dad is pretty open about things and pretty liberal. Most Asians are very insular, I have seen, esp those from the old country. That is why Asian kids born here clash so much with their parents. The movie "Joy Luck Club" is very indicative of the struggle between Asians born here and their old country parents.

[justpaisley]

What has happened to your dad to make him so paranoid? My mother-in-law is the same way - thinks everyone is out to get her, but she's just extraordinarily controlling and watches the news WAYYYY too much.

 

She lives in south Louisiana and was one of the only houses in her neighborhood to get minimal damage after Hurricane Katrina; most of the other houses were nearly destroyed. One thing that happened was a tree fell on her house and one of the branches poked through her roof. My husband and friend went to her house with her about a week after the hurricane, and started to cut the trees apart that fell in her yard. My friend offered to get on her roof to cut the branch out and patch the roof temporarily, and my mother-in-law LOST HER MIND. She started hollering about him suing her if he fell, he just wanted to take advantage of her, and how dare he even offer such a thing, and he's not getting any of her money.

 

During the days after Katrina, people were wandering around neighborhoods like this looking for easy work for cash. Such a man walked up to my mother-in-law's house and offered to get the branch out of the roof and patch it for $100, and my mother-in-law handed him a hundred and let him up there.

 

Why she's so irrationally paranoid that my husband's best friend would sue her, but some random dude wouldn't, is beyond me. What I do know is that you can't escape paranoid parents, you can't change their minds. Especially if, as renaissancewoman pointed out, it's a cultural thing. What you can do is live a good life, be vigilant, but don't fall into a trap where you're as paranoid as your dad is. You don't want to do the same to your own kids.

[blueangel]

Sometimes our elders are not the wisest. That's all I can say. That's a very stereotypical view coming from someone older. But you are younger than your parents (obviously). As long as they're alive, you have time to turn out differently.