i'm not sure i can trust women anymore.

[deejay74]

ok, this post may cause some controversy, but i really hope not. i am going to explain my situation and my experiences that have led me to have problems trusting women.

 

first of all, i know i am a bit insecure so maybe that has a *little* bit to with my issue. but i know that the trust problem goes way beyond that. i also want to make it clear that i have never, ever cheated on anyone i was in a relationship with.

 

i am a monogamous person and believe that if you are in a relationship, you're not supposed to cheat - otherwise, why are you in a relationship with that person anyway? if you are thinking about sleeping with someone else or seeking attention from someone other than your SO, then either you need to break up with that person or have a serious talk with them to discuss why you feel that way.

 

i have been cheated on once that i know of, and i have very strong suspicions that my last ex left me for someone else. i pretty much had all the evidence except i didn't catch them "in the act". she gave me a bunch of vague excuses and cliches for breaking up with me.

 

i've also slept with 3 girls who had BFs at the time, i was single.

 

this last girl i got involved with neglected to tell me that she had a BF after we fooled around (never slept together). we continued to "hang out" but then she admitted she was actually married!! she had no ring on her finger so i couldn't tell. i purposely kept on hanging out with her because i really enjoyed the attention i was getting from her knowing full well that nothing more would ever develop. i cut that out after she told me she was married.

 

i recently read this book called "The Game", by Neil Strauss. It's not a How-To to picking up women, but a very good story about pick up artists. in this book, Strauss describes how he stole many a GF from right under their BFs noses most of the time.

 

statistics show that women are more likely to cheat than men.

 

i constantly hear girls talking (especially at my school) about how they've cheated on their SO.

 

now, i know guys do the same thing but i can only talk about what I have experienced.

 

my problem is that after all these experiences, i am not sure how i can trust my next GF. it has always been an issue with me and it's even worse now. trust is so important to a relationship but i find myself assuming i cannot trust the girl i am with, based on previous observations and experiences.

 

in most of the instances where the girl cheated, more often than not it seems that their excuse is "it just happened". i am sorry, but that's not a good excuse and it seems to me that these females have no self control.

 

how do i trust my GF or SO when i have been burned and i have also been "the other guy"?

[Jayar]

That's the hardest part of a relationship. But you just gotta have faith... And of course if you get hurt, chalk it up to a not-meant-to-be and move on. And don't hold it against your next GF. That's the best advice I can offer!

[rocio]

Don't trust us. We're all evil. You should think about dating men.

[deejay74]

Don't trust us. We're all evil. You should think about dating men.

 

i don't. i think you are all evil! i mean, who is the one who took the forbidden fruit and tempted adam with it?! a woman!

 

but in all seriousness, i am asking for help - not for a sarcastic response.

 

btw, did you read this part of my post?

now, i know guys do the same thing but i can only talk about what I have experienced.

 

thanks anyway.

[Dako]

Deej

 

After my wife dumped me, I didn't even trust traffic lights to tell the truth.

I'm certain this is part of your recovery under way.

 

Women aren't any less honest than men, and you know that, but your heart is still fearful. I know how it is.

 

I was talking to a co-worker this morning who divorced a few years ago.

I asked if he'll ever re-marry, and he told me he's terrified of women and never will. To some degree I feel the same. Trust can be regained in time, but in my breakups it was the biggest injury.

 

You'll start trusting again. Not all women are cheaters.

[BornToResist]

Maybe you should wait until you get over this before finding another GF.

 

Not everyone cheats. It's not fair to get in another relationship while holding something against the entire female gender.

 

I understand where you're coming from...I have been screwed over in the past 2 long term relationships I was in, but I don't feel it's a reason to give up hope. I have heard guys talk in great detail about cheating on their gf's, as well seeing a guy do it to ME (all the disgusting things I found were enough to lock myself up forever), but I know that it's them, not everyone. Same goes for women. You can talk statistics all you want, but it isn't everyone.

[rocio]

i don't. i think you are all evil! i mean, who is the one who took the forbidden fruit and tempted adam with it?! a woman!

 

but in all seriousness, i am asking for help - not for a sarcastic response.

 

btw, did you read this part of my post?

 

 

thanks anyway.

 

 

Not sarcastic. Just playing. But I do believe that women are less faithful than men by nature.

[rocio]

I don't know about this. I think such perception depends on personal experience and what I've experienced is the opposite.

 

I do not believe that one gender is more predisposed to unfaitfulness than the other.

 

Actually, I think women are more likely to cheat when the relationship is in the intial stages. However I think men are more likely to cheat after, let's say, 20 years of marriage.

 

I don't know why I think that. Just my perception.