friends first

[walkingwithaghost]

If you're "friends first" with someone how long does the friendship prolongue until it develops into a romance?

 

I am speaking about an initial attraction with someone who you should sooner (or first) be friends with then date i.e. a coworker, friend of sibling etc. Someone you would/should not ideally date, but are attracted to nonetheless.

 

Also I understand there is a deadline for these things, even with an initial attraction. There is a window of opportunity for the friendship to become something more otherwise the friendship will remain a friendship and the romance will be snuffed out and never have a chance to take its course ie "the friends zone" lol.

 

My question: How long should you be friends with someone before dating them? Also How much time do you have to date someone you've become friends with before you become fixed as their friend and miss the opportunity to date them.

 

I guess each situation is different, and you have to go with "what feels right", but I'm also assuming there is a usual window of time for these things to happen. Like if you meet someone you're attracted to and you're friends for six months you probably wont ever date them. lol.

[bobo85]

Lets just say when a woman wants to be "friends first"...it usually means they don't feel the initial attraction for you...but still want to string you along because its fun.

 

Friendships that evolve into relationships are usually by accident. Nobody plans them but sometimes it just works out that way.

 

But i kind of get what your saying and as long as your not considered a "good friend" then you should be okay. Stay out of the "friend zone" which means dont treat her like a friend. You can still be friendly but in a flirty kind of way.

 

EDIT: i didnt know you were a girl but still....why be friends first? You dont feel enough attraction towards him yet? Or is it because you don't know him well enough? If you dont maybe you can hang out as a group of friends until you feel comfortable enough.

[DizzyDoris]

Never say never!!! like you say each situation is different. I have just started dating my former boss, we've been friends for 10 years and both had partners so nothing could have happened back then, but we were very close friends. I never told him at the time i was attracted to him and he never let on he felt attracted to me. We lost touch for about four years, changed jobs, i had children etc. Anyways when we recently met up again a lot has changed, i am now single, he is almost divorced, the timing is finally right and we are dating and all is going well When we had our first kiss he held me afterwards and told me he'd waited ten years to do that!!

If your meant to be then fate has a funny way of getting you there in the end. Dont put time limits on a good thing, Que serra, serra, whatever will be will be!