How do you NOT think about sex?

[Mr.Mister]

I've always had sexual thoughts, but lately I've been having sexual thoughts all the time. I'm constantly thinking about sex, sexual activities, or anything like that. I know somewhere it says like men think about sex every 3 seconds or something, and it almost seems true for me. I told my girlfriend I think about that kind of stuff a lot because I'm a guy, but she told me that's just an excuse.

 

I've never really been bothered with thinking about sex so much until recently though. The problem is my girlfriend doesn't want to kiss or fool around or have sex or anything until marriage. I try to be a decent guy and try my best not to think about sexual things, but she has a great body and she is really beautiful and I just can't help it. I never ask her to do anything she doesn't want to do, but it's killing me having a mind that thinks about it constantly and having to hide it.

 

How often do you people think about sexual things? And, what helps you to NOT think about it?

[Cadence308]

Since I'm single now I find that self-stimulation releases a lot of pent up energy when I'm feeling horny. Then I'm just taken care of and I don't feel horny any more...unless it's that time of the month, then I'm a bit hornier.

 

Since you and your gf are both waiting until marriage, maybe masturbate. That might help some. If you still find that you are lusting after your gf and want more than she is willing to give physically then maybe it's time to move on.

[igoturhey-oh]

well being a female and a virgin its a little diff, but we're both human so maybe you can relate, i think about sex alot, and not just alot, alot alot. in the back of my mind i know its prob not natural so naturally i try to do things to keep me side tracked. i set aside a time at the end of the day (if i need it) (which i usually do) to think about sex and nothing but sex and what i'd want. and during the day when i find my mind drifting to it i say "hang on a sex..uhh sec, there is a place and time for this" and store away what im thinking and feeling for that special later time. to put it off sometimes makes me want it more at that time.

 

but i wont lie to you sometimes i think about sex just to pass the time when im extremely bored at work. it works.

 

just understand we cant help it, especially if its the thing we want the most. ANNND if u and ur girlfriend are semi serious i wouldnt put the pressure on, so to speak, but dont hide what ur feeling if ur feeling hot for her tell her, she may reconsider her options. i know it would make me hot to know my bf wanted me even if he knew i didnt want to do anything.

 

hope this helps even a little bit

[PittItaliano]

I can't help thinking about sex either, my boyfriend and I are totally the opposite of what a guy and a girl in the sexual part of the relationship should be. He's usually the one who is too tired and I'm usually the one who wants sex.

 

I think about it all the time. I agree with Ballys, sometimes masturbating helps. Although for me sometimes it makes me want sex more b/c it doesn't feel like enough, but it's the best release I have, that and keeping myself busy.

[Mr.Mister]

Since you and your gf are both waiting until marriage, maybe masturbate. That might help some. If you still find that you are lusting after your gf and want more than she is willing to give physically then maybe it's time to move on.

I do, but my girlfriend gets angry when she finds out that I do that. That's why I want to try and lust less. I don't want to lose her just for sex either.

just understand we cant help it, especially if its the thing we want the most. ANNND if u and ur girlfriend are semi serious i wouldnt put the pressure on, so to speak, but dont hide what ur feeling if ur feeling hot for her tell her, she may reconsider her options. i know it would make me hot to know my bf wanted me even if he knew i didnt want to do anything. hope this helps even a little bit

I love my girlfriend and I'm a nice guy so I'm not about to pressure her or ask her to do anything like that until she wants to. We've talked about that kind of stuff before and she knows I want her like that, but she is against that stuff because of her religious beliefs. And, yes, your post does help, cause I know I'm not the only human being that is thinking about it alot.

...And if that don't work you can always smack your penis with a stick. That's.. garuronteed.. to keep your mind off of sex for a day or two.

hahaha best tip yet! (Well, at least good for a laugh! haha)

[heloladies21]

If this is your ex who you've been sexual with in the past and gotten back together with recently, you need to tell the whole story or else you will get wrong advice.

 

So she went religious and this is the reason she won't even kiss you anymore? There's a good chance this is a coverup for just not being interested in you anymore and this is something that wouldn't be wise to ignore because the problem won't just go away.

 

You sound like a really good guy, but this post shouldn't be about extinguishing your sexual desires. It should be about this uneven relationship you're in which you aren't managing the right way. You don't speak your mind enough. You don't stick up for yourself. These are things you need to change or you will get this reaction from her which always ends in either a break up, cheating, or both.

[Mr.Mister]

If this is your ex who you've been sexual with in the past and gotten back together with recently, you need to tell the whole story or else you will get wrong advice.

Yeah we were sexual in the past, but the questions I was asking were basically just what other people have experienced. I just wanted to know what other people do, not what I should do. haha.

So she went religious and this is the reason she won't even kiss you anymore? There's a good chance this is a coverup for just not being interested in you anymore and this is something that wouldn't be wise to ignore because the problem won't just go away.

She wasn't religious when we first started going out, but she started going to a christian school and now actually does feel this way. She talks about God all the time and stuff. But, how can you tell if this is true? If she is really not interested in me, I'd like to find out now, rather than living a lie.

[heloladies21]

Well my understanding of Christianity is that it's ok to do other sexual things, just not intercourse. That means holding hands and kissing and even some other stuff is allowed. If she's not even letting you kiss her or get close to her, then she's most likely BSing you and you should conftont her on it.

[pregnantkitty_1985]

Don't feel bad or guilty about something that is perfectly natural. I am a female and also think about sex a lot. We're human, it's in our natures to do so!

 

Plus you're 22, that's very natural. And if you're not having sex as much as you used to, or want to, then it's natural to be thinking about it.

 

One word: masturbation. Also perfectly natural.

 

However you say your girl doesn't want to do anything until marriage. Are you two engaged? Or do you plan on being engaged to her sometime soon, or in the future? If you can hold out for her, do so. Just masturbate, don't do anything that could devastate her such as cheating.

[Mr.Mister]

Well my understanding of Christianity is that it's ok to do other sexual things, just not intercourse. That means holding hands and kissing and even some other stuff is allowed. If she's not even letting you kiss her or get close to her, then she's most likely BSing you and you should conftont her on it.

I've already talked about this on another post somewhere but the Bible basically says all sexual thoughts or actions = lust, and lust is one of the seven deadly sins. It is only allowed when you are married. My girlfriend takes it very seriously.

 

Thanks everyone for the help though.

[CamGuy]

Sorry amigo, but it's time to leave your woman behind. I may be flamed for this, but there is no point in waiting till marriage. At least for you there isnt. Especially if you think about sex this much, and your gal scoffs at the idea that you masterbate. A little rediculous if you ask me. Sex is a completely natural and wonderful thing. You are 21, and should be engaging in good healthy, fun sex. My advice, be safe, wear protection, and find a nice woman who likes sex as much as you do.

[heloladies21]

Bah, I see very deeply religious unmarried couples kissing all the time. An embrace or a kiss isn't necessarilt tied to lust, way more often it is tied to caring or love and that's not the same thing.

 

I still stand by my intuition on this, she's using it as a cover up. In any case, if you wanna assume she's telling you the truth, then you two have incompatable views and sex drives. Also the fact that she's giving you stuff about you masterbating, that is a load of BS. She's the religious one, not you, and she's pushing her religious beliefs on you then and that ain't right. But she's gonna continue to cross the line like this until you get the guts to stick up to her.

[lman69]

The truth is sex isn't that big a deal once you get it regularly. Don't worry man, it won't take that long to get there.

[jilligirl]

i don't not think about it.

[FiredandHurt]

Masturbation usually helps...IT IS NORMAL to think about sex alot. It is as powerful a drive as hunger in some people and you wouldn't tell your girlfriend to stop eating or never be hungry. There are things outside of intercourse your girlfriend can do to help you...(hand jobs for example). I just don't buy this "must not have any sexual feelings until married" crap. It was instituted by religion to make you feel guilty and as a method of control.