Article - Why girls like jerks

[TheRedQueen]

I'm not shy in the least, yet passive, dare I say "shy" jerks, (yes folks they do exist) are flung my way by some twisted kind of gravitational pull.

 

Jerks transcend all ages and social spheres:

I've met intelligent jerks, quiet jerks, just-plain-stupid jerks, flirty jerks and chaste jerks.

[a2000]

Out of curiosity, why do you think he is a jerk? I only ask because the person you quoted has a different idea of what a jerk is than I do. I mean, just because the guy has confidence to ask the girl out doesn't mean he is not a nice guy and is a jerk. A jerk is just the guy who doesn't really care about the girl and is selfish in relationships. I know a bunch of nice guys who are confident with women. So why are you still with this guy if you know you are attracted to him for the wrong reasons and you know he is a jerk? That doesn't make sense.

He is a jerk because he is arrogant (very very over-confident), hardly ever calls, a total player, ignores me when with his friends. You would agree he is a jerk.

However when I am with him on his own, he is the nicest guy in the world and I fall for his charm. He is really bad for me but I guess he makes me feel good. But atleast I know he is a jerk so I don't really expect much.

[Juha]

a2000, why settle for scraps like that??? Is it just because it is easy???

 

I see so many women in the same situation as you and they know the guys a jerk and they can do better but yet they don't dump him or even look for someone who is better... Boggles my mind and is why I sometimes think women are stupid for putting up with that...

 

Redqueen, tell me about it I feel the same way as you...

True love, lol... Not bitter, won't allow it...Jaded, yeah somewhat...

Sick of banging my head off the wall when it comes to the oppostie sex...

 

I am not a jerk, I am not weak and needy but it seems all I get are the rejects...THey start off nice and good and then BAM!..I say check please and delete everything about them....

 

I am better off being with myself, I don't even try anymore as my time can be put to more useful things...

[New_Horizons]

He is really bad for me but I guess he makes me feel good. But atleast I know he is a jerk so I don't really expect much.

 

 

Well may I suggest you decide what is more important to you - short term feelings or long term stability? Don't make the mistake of thinking that you can have fun now and date a nice guy later when you're in the mood for it. There are many nice guys who would not want to date a girl whose brain is totally subservient to her heart.

[galaxy71]

a2000, I just want to tell you that that you got to stop letting all those feelings control how you perceive that guy. You know that the guy isn't good for you at all. Yet you continue to like him.

 

All of his charm and sweet talk is an act because he knows how to turn your attraction switches on.

[gersanos]

He is a jerk because he is arrogant (very very over-confident), hardly ever calls, a total player, ignores me when with his friends.

 

Yup, sounds like a jerk to me. People toss around confidence like it's something magical and what people say they want in someone. Confidence does not embody extroversion, or the life of the party, or charming, or hot, etc. It's actually much more subtle:

 

Belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities.

 

I think it is an attractive quality to have, but when I was younger I thought I wanted someone confident - little did I know what that word truly meant. I confused it with hot, outgoing, and thrill of the chase. The quietest person in the room can be the most confident of the bunch, same can be said of someone with unattractive looks.

[gersanos]

Have I lost faith in finding "true love"? Yes.

 

Please don't say that - without faith you have lost all.

 

Have I become bitter? Not quite. Jaded? Perhaps.

 

I can understand this. Perhaps you're jaded perception makes you think/believe you have lost faith? Maybe try being friends with guys you meet? I don't have a problem attracting girls, but I have a problem attracting the right girls for me. What I've done is I will be friends with her for a while. If we aren't friends after a while, then she gave me all the answers I needed. If she is still around after a while and we built some sort of foundation then I know she actually likes me. If she gets upset because I haven't made a move and it "fizzles", then great. Been their, done that. Sex doesn't define a relationship. Chemistry doesn't keep something going long term either. It's actually something deeper that that.

[TheRedQueen]

Redqueen, tell me about it I feel the same way as you...

True love, lol... Not bitter, won't allow it...Jaded, yeah somewhat...

Sick of banging my head off the wall when it comes to the oppostie sex...

 

I am not a jerk, I am not weak and needy but it seems all I get are the rejects...THey start off nice and good and then BAM!..I say check please and delete everything about them....

 

I am better off being with myself, I don't even try anymore as my time can be put to more useful things...

 

=D> I feel you brother, I feel you. =D>

 

He is a jerk because he is arrogant (very very over-confident), hardly ever calls, a total player, ignores me when with his friends. You would agree he is a jerk.

However when I am with him on his own, he is the nicest guy in the world and I fall for his charm. He is really bad for me but I guess he makes me feel good. But atleast I know he is a jerk so I don't really expect much.

 

Sweetheart, this guy WISHES he were a jerk, cause truth is he ain't even that. Hate to say it, but this guy sounds like a tool bag! Needless to say you deserve much better.

 

Yup, sounds like a jerk to me. People toss around confidence like it's something magical and what people say they want in someone. Confidence does not embody extroversion, or the life of the party, or charming, or hot, etc. It's actually much more subtle:

 

SO TRUE, SO TRUE!!!!!!!

 

Please don't say that - without faith you have lost all.

I can understand this. Perhaps you're jaded perception makes you think/believe you have lost faith? Maybe try being friends with guys you meet? .

 

I take friendhips really seriously. I have one female friend and one male friend, and I'm thankful that at the very least I have them. Finding like-minded people is no easy feat (for me at least).

 

Oh, and regarding the faith comment, I don't agree. Losing faith can be incredibly liberating and enriching to boot.