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4+ Years Over in an Instant....


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Well this is my first post, and I was really looking around for a good support group for people like me.. heart broken and don't know where to go. Just 2 weeks ago, my girlfriend and I broke up over basically the fact that she cant stand my family and that I have some growing up to do... and I know these things... b ut also the fact that she never dated anyone also causes much "whats out there" ideas in her head... and I respect that.

 

I am a 23 year old, living in a duplex... with my parents taking the front home. I am back in college getting an MBA after receiving a BA in Interactive Media Design. My ex is is school in the RA(registered Nurse) program. We were in a position where we had different life goals, and we consistantly argued over the silliest things...

 

After reading through some topics on this site I get that "NC" is the best way to deal with it. I am currently hanging out with a girl i really dig from college...and it helps a bit, but its the "game" all over again. She isn't there for me like my g/f was... I can't just call this girl up and play it like that b/c it will kill the idea that im chill about this..

 

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to cope better... I am thinking about joining a gym, and I already rock climb... but its those moments of lull where I want to call and talk to her but I know its not right... and I really think she was the one... I just hae issues I have to deal with personally(as does she... in terms of seeing other men, b/c as stated she has only been with 2 guys her whole life... crazy...)

 

Thats all....

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Put your energies into your studies, finding new interests, joining college activities, hanging out with friends. Be careful about starting a new relationship so soon after your break-up. Just keep yourself busy. There will always be times when you are not too busy. When you start thinking too much, read a book, watch TV, rent a movie (not a romantic movie), take a walk, go to a pet store that has dogs or cats in the window (if you like animals), write your thoughts down etc.

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There's no easy solution to the pain. To a certain extent you have to go through it and all it's stages.

 

But keeping as busy as you can helps. Exercise is great because it gets the endorphins going and they make you feel good. Meeting new people is also a help because they don't know your history nor remind you of it. They also help you manage probably the most intense emotion you have after a break up, loneliness.

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Chasen,

 

When you're heartbroken, the best thing to do is to surround yourself with family and friends. Also, post here and/or keep a journal. I used to keep my journal on link removed, which helped me along the healing process.

 

As far as hanging out with this new woman - I wouldn't do it. You're vulnerable right now and it won't be good for her to be used as a backup or rebound unless she's ONLY a friend.

 

Meanwhile, take some time to heal up. Talk to whomever will listen, write about it in a journal, take care of yourself physically (eat right, work out or change your current workout routine) and find a hobby you enjoy. The first thing you will probably realize is how much free time you'll have. Use it productively to keep busy and improve the person you are.

 

Hang in there, you will make it through this just fine.

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I am truly amazed at the responses I have received so far... the best one is keep a journal... that seriously sounds like a great idea... haven't done it in years... right now I am using today to just take it easy and play some video games...heh... lazy as heck but loving it=)

 

Started a blog on myspace... check it out if you like... add me to your subscribed list... I feel quite poetic sometimes=)

 

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