Sleeping Together

[benso577]

My girlfiend and I have been together for 7 months, (we are 18) and we are quite serious. But both of us know that we are going to wait until mairrage to have sex. But she is coming with my family on a vacation next summer, and I was wondering if it is ok for us to share a bed, and a room. She wants to, but I just wonder if it is appropriate. We are both extremly happy, and plan on this lasting for a while. So I was basically wondering if it is ok for me to ask my parents to let us have our own room, and if it is acceptable for us to sleep in the same bed. ( we are not going to have sex).

-Luke

[southerngirl]

Since this is a trip you are taking with your family, you should probally ask them what they think about it and tell then what was said here.

 

Its a question of how you personally feel about it also.

[laboheme]

Are your parents well aware of your views on sex? My views are similar (though not quite the same), and I would definitely let you have your own room if I were a parent...

 

How big is your family? I'd say that if there are younger siblings involved, it's probably not a good idea -- it could send the wrong message. But if everyone in the family is a mature adult, you could have a chance. Plus, it's a long time away, so by then you'll be able to prove how serious your are about your relationship and your moral views.

 

However, I don't recommend just asking your parents if it's okay for you to share a room. Just ask how they envision the living arrangements...who knows, maybe they'll just assume that you're gonna be in the same room!

 

Good luck~

[justpaisley]

I wouldn't let my kid share a room with anyone to whom he wasn't married. But that's just me. I'm sure it's fine for you to ask, but if your parents share your views on pre-marital sex, they probably won't find it appropriate.

 

However, if you really want to wait until marriage to have sex, sharing a bed isn't the greatest way to do it. It opens you up to a world of temptation that wouldn't normally exist if you weren't horizontal together. My husband and I waited as well, and the one time we tried to sleep in a bed together at a friend's house before we were married, we wound up almost going too far, and I slept on my friend's couch instead. It's just really hard to resist that temptation.

 

Good luck - I applaud you for waiting! You won't regret it!

[annie24]

 

However, if you really want to wait until marriage to have sex, sharing a bed isn't the greatest way to do it. It opens you up to a world of temptation that wouldn't normally exist if you weren't horizontal together. My husband and I waited as well, and the one time we tried to sleep in a bed together at a friend's house before we were married, we wound up almost going too far, and I slept on my friend's couch instead. It's just really hard to resist that temptation.

 

Yeah, I must agree. if you are serious about waiting, then sleeping next to each other in the same bed is just TOO MUCH temptation. it is nearly impossible to resist.

 

I don't think that most parents, even the most liberal, really approve of their unmarried 18 year old child sleeping in bed with their bf/gf. i don't think they'll buy your whole, "but we won't have sex!" thing. (even if you really mean it, I think they also know that it's just too much temptation.)

[laboheme]

Really depends on the parents though...Can't say that I've been in a family vacation situation, but I did spend a few nights together with my boyfriend -- and my parents criticized us for being responsible and NOT having sex! Weirdos.

 

And I don't know if I really agree about the temptation bit. It really depends on the people and the relationship. I know a happy couple (3 years!) who have "compatibly low libidos," and they've never gone too far when sleeping together because they're much more content just cuddling and knowing that the other person is there by their side. Me and my ex were the same way. That said, you and your girlfriend are the only ones who know if you're in a similar situation and if you'll be able to resist the temptation -- if you do have the temptation...

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

It depends on your parents. How liberal are they?

 

I mentioned to a friend once (and had a discussion on here) about when I was 17, my boyfriend was 21, we had been together 2 months before my mother casually said *Are you staying at Xal's tonight? Yeah? Just be careful, have fun!*

 

And I've been round his house/in his bed/having sex with him since...but I understand this is not acceptable to a lot of people.

 

Anyway - I'd also like to point out, if you are both 18 and attracted to each other, are you realistically going to be able to not have sex if you share a bed? Realism, guys! Lying next to someone you think is really hot...it's dark...you're curious...wham bam, you're having sex.

 

Honestly. Think about it!