Give me your opinion! Should I invest any more of my time?

[Moni]

I have to give a quick background so you can see my situation clear. I met this guy 2 years ago in a club. I approached him and things never got far with him. We kept in touch once in a while. If we went out we would end up being hugging and kissing but it would always end at that. I had quite hopes that one day he would decide to start dating. Last summer we ended up going more often, this time around not just to clubs but just me and him alone. It felt good for both of us and i wanted to date him. At that time i worked two full time jobs and he kept on insisting that if he had a girlfriend he would want to see her during the week as well, becuase weekends are not enough. I said to him that I would quit in a month (which i did) so we started dating. It never really felt like he was into it too much. Maybe after a month he started acting weird, not answering my phone calls, calling 2 hours after i called. i confronted him a few times and finally he said to me that he can't live my schedule, that he has other things to do on the weekends as well, such as basketball, family picnincs etc. So i got really pissed off because he knew that i would quit in a month, and to me it seemed like nothing but a cheap excuse. I ened with him right then, and completley moved on. We barley kept in touch this year, but my b-day came in June and he called me. After that he kept on calling me and i got weirded out about it. He took me out for a few nice dates and after a third or forth date I asked him what are we doing and he freaked out. He said "you have no right to ask me, I'm doing the right things, am I not" I was so confused by his answer. To me a guy would say "hey i regret things went bad last year" or something to that effect.

So now we are dating for 3 months, but it still feels like somethings is wrong. I don't think he is into me. I don't see him during the week because he is very busy. (last year he said he would have to see his girlfriend during the week) He has basketball on Mondays, school on tuesdays, I have my school on wed. thursday is his tv day, friday and saturday he sees me and sunday is for himself. During the week he calls me only around 10 p.m because he is very busy with everything. I complained to him twice that this is weird that people communicate during the day, or in the evening but with him is always at the end of the day. I feel like I'm single. I feel like this realationship is so dry, I'm confused because he never told me he likes me, that he misses me or that he just wants to see me. Am i waisting my time on this guy, or should I be patient?

 

Thanks for your opinion, Moni

 

 

 

 

have an answer.

[need2bme]

TV Day? Has he ever heard of TIVO? Why can't you watch together?

 

I used to lay on the couch, holding my GF (the one before this current ex) and watch tennis.

 

As far as you feeling like you are single; if you feel that way, then you are.

 

How old are you guys? That may have something to do with it. I think quiting a job for anyone (that is not to move closer to a LDR) is out of the question. If the person cares, they will find time to see you.

 

If I wait until the last minute to study or work out, that is one thing, but trying NOT to see a person is totally different.

[Aschleigh]

I think you should explore your options with other men. He doesn't seem to be taking this relationship seriously.

He can't skip his TV day to hang out with you? He can't see you after basketball or after school?

How old are you two? What do you really want from a relationship , with him or anyone else?

[Moni]

thank you for your reply. I'm 31 and he is 27

[need2bme]

So, you guys seem old enough for him to not need a TV day. Don't get me wrong. I like TV and I love all kinds of shows (from educational to reality tv), but, I also like "human touch" and can record tv.

 

Maybe you should just not contact him for a little while and see what happens.

[annie24]

So now we are dating for 3 months, but it still feels like somethings is wrong. I don't think he is into me.

 

I think you should go with your gut instinct. it really does sound like something is wrong. it seems like you have been "forcing" this relationship all along and he doesn't sound terribly excited about you.

 

I feel like I'm single. I feel like this realationship is so dry, I'm confused because he never told me he likes me, that he misses me or that he just wants to see me. Am i waisting my time on this guy, or should I be patient?

 

Again, listen to your gut instinct!!! If he's not saying he misses you, likes you, or wants to see you, this doesn't sound like a very good relationship at all. I know tons of guys who are crazy about their gfs and they are always saying and doing little things like that, even the most macho and stoic of them!

 

I don't think you should be patient. I just don't see this relationship going anywhere. I think you'd be better off finding a man who is crazy about you.

now, we don't know this guy, we don't know if he really is that busy, or hates your schedule or what, but what I do sense is that you are unhappy with the relationship and feel that something is off... is this relationship, AS IT STANDS, what you want? it sounds like you are settling.

[annie24]

It sounds to me like he sees you as much as he can. I'd love to see my BF as much as you see yours. However, you should ask him how he feels about you. Maybe he's emotionally unavailable...and can't talk about his feelings.

 

Try NC. It worked for me. I just ended 10 days of NC with my BF...I was miserable because I missed the little time and interaction I had with him...and so did he. I know now that I mean alot more to him then he ever told me....and we are closer than ever.

 

My guy is 36..and has a TV night. I know not to call or bother him at that time. I don't think this is unusual.

 

WAIT!!! What the heck happened here? Isn't this the same guy who never called you or saw you on your birthday??? never even sent a stupid e-mail or text message?