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ugh... i really want to date her but..


Atticus90
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Well, if any of you read my post about me likeing this girl and us hangin out. Well we both hung out with eachother the other weekend, but I just don't think she knows the deal. She already knows that I want more than friends, but she told me like 3 or 4 days ago that we should be friends. It's so hard just to be a "best friend" to her. I want way more than that. She seems so difficult though. She has a lot of mood changes. She's happy one day, and pissed off the next day. Sometimes I can't tell if she's pissed at what happens durin the day or pissed that she doesn't want to talk to me. We both give eachother hugs a lot. She just got out of a 3 year relationship. Does that have any sort of effect on her? Can that influence her judgement on wheather she'd like to go out with me?

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dude i know exactly where your coming from. i know its hard, but i wouldnt give up. shes proboly not completely over her last boyfriend, i mean 3 years is a long time. i think maybe just to take it easy and try not to push for a realtionship, it may annoy her and you might not be friends at all if you do. he mood swings could just be because of her lady time aswell. my only advise is to give it time, and try not to crowed her. good luck brosiff

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Hey There Atticus,

 

It could certainly have an effect on her attitude about dating in general right now. She's just come off a long term and serious relationship (and at your age 3 years is a lifetime)... and you yourself are on the heels of a recent breakup.

 

If you do not feel ready for just a friendship with her, than maybe some safe distance would be a good idea for awhile.

 

Frankly, I think some time as singletons would be good for both of you.

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Oh, well thanks for all your help. I'd like some more opinions. How long do u think it will take for her to get over him?

 

I don't know. 3 years is a long time, and it was likely a pretty serious relationship for them. My guess is it is not going to be anytime in the near future.... at least a couple of months before she is ready to consider a another serious relationship, possibly even longer. Only she can tell for sure though.

 

And for you too, you just got out of a year+ relationship yourself. What's your rush to jump in with someone new?

 

When I see that type of eagerness so soon after a serious breakup, I worry about a 'rebound' relationship.

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I don't know. 3 years is a long time, and it was likely a pretty serious relationship for them. My guess is it is not going to be anytime in the near future.... at least a couple of months before she is ready to consider a another serious relationship, possibly even longer. Only she can tell for sure though.

 

And for you too, you just got out of a year+ relationship yourself. What's your rush to jump in with someone new?

 

When I see that type of eagerness so soon after a serious breakup, I worry about a 'rebound' relationship.

Lol, i'm a guy. It's in my nature. I'm just jumpin in another relationship, 'cause I have a lot of feelings for this girl. Plus, it gets things ( ex... ) out of my mind. Do you think reminding her that I like her would help? Ya think she forgot? Are their any tips about getting girls to like you? In the past, it all happened naturally. Girls liked me and I liked them. Seems like I gotta do this manually lol. Any tips?

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wait, how do you define a rebound relationship?

 

When a person goes through a breakup from a long term, serious relationship, and immediately dives into another relationship, without having time to process the breakup, any unresolved feelings, etc. They direct their feelings towards the new person in a misguided attempt to avoid the grieving process of losing their past relationship.

 

It's a pretty common phenomenon

 

Here's some info on it:

 

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Lol, i'm a guy. It's in my nature. I'm just jumpin in another relationship, 'cause I have a lot of feelings for this girl. Plus, it gets things ( ex... ) out of my mind. Do you think reminding her that I like her would help? Ya think she forgot? Are their any tips about getting girls to like you? In the past, it all happened naturally. Girls liked me and I liked them. Seems like I gotta do this manually lol. Any tips?

 

You can't force a girl to have feelings for you.

 

If she's cried on your shoulder about her ex bf, she probably has a pretty good idea that you are crushing on her. My guess is she's just not ready to go there with you, because she needs time to process her own grief from her breakup and get past that. It's hard to think about dating someone new when you are so fresh out of a serious relationship.

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I think you are more likely to push her away if she is reluctant to get involved right now. Sometimes the timing is just not right. And even if you were to get something going the 'baggage' from the previous relationship would likely adversely affect it.

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Nah, I don't buy any of that still not over her ex excuse. She's just not into you and this is her way of letting you down easy while keeping you around for the emotional support. Don't be surprised if you find out about her talking to some other guy in the near future. See it happen so many times that it's basically a cliche. One thing is for certin that the friends route will not turn her into your gf, so make your true intentions known and if she's not on the same page, let her slip so you can free up time to go find someone who's interested in you right back.

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