Thoughts?

[confused.fallen]

Well, im super shy as ive mentioned in my other posts and i leasd somewhat of a double life which can be really tough seeing as how im still in highschool. but i cant take not talking to this girl and not haveing her know how i feel. i have made a far to complex plan kinda like a modern day version of secret admirer leaving notes in the locker. waht im thiniking i should do is to go slow like leave a note addresed to her in her mail just describing how ive felt and for how long and sign it your pal and then give her an email that i will make to talk to her and see if she adds then go from their and slowly give her things like c.ds that describe my feelings and just little girfts that are from the heart and gradually tie my two lifes together. in time tell her who i am and see how it goes from theri of course i need help with this so if their are people who wouldnt ind playing a little bit of sereno and help me get the gril just by like suggesting heart felt songs that i might use or things to say and just general stuff liek that but i need to get this off my chest not just for me but she is suffering she has so many aquaitances and no true friends and it breaks m heart a little each time i have to see her hurt, please tell me what you think of this and feedback is welcome and greatly appreciated.

[Markers]

um that secret admirer idea is not a good one in my opinion. You have to learn how to talk to girls if you want to have a relationship with a girl. That's why you should start practicing right now - not send notes, which is slightly creepy and stalkerish anyways. So just start talking to girls, especially the one you have a crush on. What exactly to talk about - talk about her interests, and listen to her properly. You won't learn how to be outgoing in a day, but keep trying.

[finewhine]

I second Markers. I got a note in high school and I was freaking terrified. Then, one of the kids I took the bus with told me who did it and I was more terrified, and then everyone made fun of the guy for like weeks afterwards.

 

Just talk to her and see what happens. Good luck! I never dated much in high school, and I turned out just fine. Well, that's open to debate, but my point is that high school isn't really an indicator of how the rest of your life is gonna turn out. Again, good luck.

[confused.fallen]

well like i know i am talking to more girls and getting to be more outgoing and im trying to work up the nerve just this girl she deserves so much like she deserves something romantic like a little bit of a mystery im going to establish a good friendship first and the note isnt going to be creepy or stalkerish im just going to say that hi ive liked you for a long time and we hangout witht he same people and were friends ive just never worked up the nerve to really tell you how i feel anywyas heres an email account i dont really use anymore maybe we can talk about it if you want if not then thats okay to. then if she dosnt add me i wont keep pestering her with it i just want to make her feel so special and i just thought htatd be a good way to do it. im not sure maybe some more ffedback ?

[Freshie58]

Your plan sounds like something out of a movie,but if you do accomplish it that would be quite a significant accomplishment.

I'd really like to help in anyway.Try it out once,and see how it goes.

But really you need to talk to her.A good conversation starter i have found is music(what is your favorite genre?)stuff like that.If she isn't into your kinda of music find something else in the media like an article in one of those papparazi mags.(those are funny)

If you choose to use your plan I speak for us all as a forum community we can help with what to put in your messages/cd's(unless anyone objects to it)

You can count on me to help.

[confused.fallen]

thanks for the support and yes i would love advice for what to put in the messages but your right i need to talk to ehr and establish a friendship first or else what i want to do which is be theri for her and make her feel special and see her smile wont work so im going to find sumthign in the next couple weeks and even if it kills me im going to start a dialoge and go from their but i dont plan on doing the secret admirer note thing till after weve established a frienship cause i know i might change the way i feel or maybe she might feel that way without the big elaborate plot to try ad woo her but id still lvoe your help and anyone else who is willing! thanks

[Markers]

You're right about making her feel special, after all it's basically emotial fulfillment that people go for.

 

However you need to forget that note thing - don't go for it! Sending notes to a person you've never really talked to is gonna be creepy and she's not gonna like it. By doing that you're basically ruining all chances you have, and if I remember what it was like being freshman in HS, you get tagged with reputation and it sticks, and you don't want to be stuck as a creep. Even if you talked to her first, starting to send notes would be a stupid idea - if you got to talk to her, you could ask her out right there. No need to go for some strange, slightly childish and vague note-hints which in my humble opinion is hundred percently you shooting your own foot. If you want to be able to communicate with a girl in a relationship, you should be able to communicate with her well enough so that you could ask her out.

 

Friendship is a bad idea as well. If you really want to be her friend, then for sure you can go for it, but if you want to go out with her, you should go out with her and not settle for some friendship you don't really want. Sometimes if a girl decides that you're her friend, it's gonna be really hard to make her see you as something more. Many people try that and very very few succeed. Don't count on managing something like that because most likely you won't.

 

My advice - talk to her a couple of times. Talk about her interests and listen. Look at her into eyes when she talks. Be light and fun. Then ask her out for coffee or whatever you like to drink. No movies, nothing expensive, coffee or ice cream should be fine. Just my 2 cents.

 

Anyway whatever you choose to do, good luck!

[Freshie58]

I third markers for the most part.

I wouldn't do the note thingy(kinda creepy and can ruin your rep.) or the friend thingy(unless you are JUST wanting to make her feel good)

,but a relationship is an advanced friendship.

You need a few conversations with her,and as markers reitterated( I don't know if I used it right and not sure if its spelled right either)you best bet for conversation is interests(music,movies/tv,etc),and then after that there won't be a need for silly notes or e-mail,because you may get her phone number!

I'm not a dating kinda of person,but markers is so listen him/her(sorry markers i don't know which you are.)