Freshie58
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Posts
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This has happened to me. You beat yourself up just because you feel so distant from someone you wish to love? When it happened to me i tossed cookies and got a fever right after i felt depressed because i couldn't confront her. Then on numerous occasions i'd beat myself up to feel physical pain,but it never matched my emotional pain. Ex letter cutters so hard you have to get stitches,Jump off a 10ft ladder over a barbed wire fence,beat yourself in the head/punch a lava rock(the sharp kind),punching myself in the head til i bled,banged my head on the table til i bled,licked someones blood off their arm. I know some of these are gross,and slightly insane(im not this way anymore) I just want to know if it's happened to someone else other than me
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Well I don't know if she's "in to me" as in attracted to me ,but I know she knows me now.I can talk to her without really hesitating! Thats how lots of people are they like my hair,but not my personality.(I honestly don't think she's that way) Well i like my personality,and if they don't like it well Up theirs! I'm usually not one to hold a grudge. I forgot to mention I bought to songs on itunes right after the "whatever you want to call it." The songs remind me of her. "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N' Roses and "brown eyed girl" by Van Morrison. I love the songs anyway,but the fact that they make me think of her makes me like em that much more.
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Well just yesterday I almost missed the bus to a football game to see Rachel,my crush.The original bus driver was sick so we had to wait for another bus...if it would come.(I was about to call my mom to pick me up ,but i didn't,because i wanted to see her bad.)It did eventually,but she didn't ride the bus because she had to be there from the beginning so she had to get a ride from the Cheerleading coach)We got there at the end of the first quater.I stayed the rest of the game ,freezing cold.We left and she rode the bus,and she talked to me about my hair.Then we got off the bus to wait for our parents to pick us up.I ended up being the last "guy"(as in male person) there.She came up and she played a little with my hair and called me "poofy haired andy"(SHE KNOWS MY NAME!) I feel so good,I did my dance.(which i haven't done in forever!) I know this is a long post but it has a moral. Be patient,and good things will eventually happen!
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Hmm I'm sorry but i think you guys are a lil young for that,but whatever floats your boat. But what about a different type of sex?not vaginal
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When was the last time you've said "I love you" to some one? Maybe you need to heal your relationship with your parents. As for labels and bullies,screw em.You are worth something especially in God's eyes(sorry for bringing religon in)Try lifting your problems to God he may help you.God never gives you anything you can't handle.remember that.
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Oddly enough I actually am pretty good at drawing.I already have drawn the five doors a long time ago.The painting of blood I haven't drawn yet. Most of these visions happen when i'm an almost coma like state, or when I'm trying to sleep.I also get dejavu.One of my friends told me that I would make a good boyfriend if I met the right girl.Right now I just feel so lonely. I honestly thought these were more suicidal visions.Today I had a vision of a statue of a young man with his hand out catching rain in it,and his face was fixated on his hand.A young woman(not a statue) with her hand in his weeping.The background looked like a semetary with tree's and the sky was an orange fading into a purple.It looked like it had just rained.It was me out in the rain the other day. that was the position I was in.That special person was holding my hand.This vision comforts me somewhat,because it reminds me of a women's touch(which I long for so much),sensitivity,and loyalty.
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Today I stood in the rain.I was deeply depressed,and couldn't seem to shake it.I've been having weird thoughts lately.Of a painting (i know this will sound putrid) made of blood(my blood)of someone special(I don't know who it is) And last year I had a vision of 5 burning doors of white flame. The thoughts only occur when i'm deeply depressed.I can't sleep now.the only reason i'm depressed is because I have nothing to love and so much to lose.
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I third markers for the most part. I wouldn't do the note thingy(kinda creepy and can ruin your rep.) or the friend thingy(unless you are JUST wanting to make her feel good) ,but a relationship is an advanced friendship. You need a few conversations with her,and as markers reitterated( I don't know if I used it right and not sure if its spelled right either)you best bet for conversation is interests(music,movies/tv,etc),and then after that there won't be a need for silly notes or e-mail,because you may get her phone number! I'm not a dating kinda of person,but markers is so listen him/her(sorry markers i don't know which you are.)
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Your plan sounds like something out of a movie,but if you do accomplish it that would be quite a significant accomplishment. I'd really like to help in anyway.Try it out once,and see how it goes. But really you need to talk to her.A good conversation starter i have found is music(what is your favorite genre?)stuff like that.If she isn't into your kinda of music find something else in the media like an article in one of those papparazi mags.(those are funny) If you choose to use your plan I speak for us all as a forum community we can help with what to put in your messages/cd's(unless anyone objects to it) You can count on me to help.
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I have made so many friends lately(good),I've lost weight(good),and lately i have been spiritually uplifted!(really good)all changes for the better,but I still feel like crap(emotionally) I feel like I'm missing half of me. I don't feel loved by anyone(I know jesus loves me,because the bible tells me so,but why don't I feel that love)(other than family,and I don't feel that loved by them either)no one to experience the good,the bad ,and the ugly. The first thing that comes to mind is my age,well quite frankly I do care! I don't feel loved.I'm a hollow being that can't find his way. How can i feel more loved and accepted by others more?
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I know this is a pretty personal insight ,but most of the time I try to get rid of my temptations(pat on the back) Honestly,i agree(in moderation),but its just better if you don't and if you do you should probably repent for it(sorry i'm a devout christian) A lot of my friends do it(look at porn) and some have already done it(done it!!!) Its not freaky,its normal(in moderation) Unlike horny bastards!!!"you know who you are"!!!
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Hmm interesting case. Is your english teacher laid back? At my school in my biology class I crack a lot of jokes and do funny things like tell peole to get off a desk and push'em off not hard though. I act random,and it gets me noticed(in a positive way) I'm actually "in my opinion" not that attractive(my mom thinks i am but that doesn't count) I know I'm young (and in no way a pro),but i'd like to be of help. Does she have a Myspace? If so that is a good way to make friends(especially in your case) You don't have to ask for her Email,you just type in her name look at the disscription(location and such)and maybe add her to your "friend list" Ex like a girl that is a year older than me that I'm attracted to,and added her to my friendlist.
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Thank you Anna Sorry for my harsh words. thats what happens when i drink coffee. Its the drink of Satan!!!
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I plan on being happy person! Wow at the beginning of this thread it was happy then it went south and now back up.Can anyone say "mood swing"? Some girls realise I can be funny,but I want toshow them I can be serious too. Word of advise: I"M NOT SUICIDAL!!! I'm becoming more social dangit don't rain on my parade!!!
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Hey I know that her boyfriend would be upset.They have been dating for a year.But honestly once he leaves(for college) within a year he'll have probably found someone new ,unless he doesn't get over Rachel,which would be fully understandable.Trust me I know personal loss.Yes she is attractive ok i realize that,but I mean i know that our generation is known for pregnant teens, but there are probably a few good kids out there,and I plan on being one of them.