Nc

[Crizco]

hello.. i posted a story about my g/f a couple days ago...

 

I'm not sure what the goal to approach here is. She broke up with me and then still called/txted me. Not really talking about anything just kinda keeping in touch. We hung out this past week and it was her doing. She invited me up to come grocery shopping with her and then out to dinner. The bad part was that she just hugged me afterwards and that was it. The next day(it had been a week since we broke up) I called her becaue i told her i wanted to let some things off my chest and let her know how i felt. She said "drew, you would think after i took you back for something so bad that you would change" (meaning the smoking, and romance, and short temper sometimes) I wasn't that bad to her. I treated her well most of the time, with respect. I know she is VERY fond of me and i care so much about her. That's why this is so hard because i didn't see it coming. I asked her if she ever see's us getting back together and she said not really. Do girls just say this? Anyway. After that conversation she said she had to go and she would call me tomorrow. She waited until about 10 oclock last night to call and I didn't answer. I didn't call her back. I think i'm going to call her back around 3 today and just play it real cool. I don't know what my stratedgy should be? No contact?

[DBL]

Just move on. That is the best option for you. You don't owe anybody a phone call or respect. At least you understand what you did wrong in this relationship, now try carrying that over into the next and not make the same mistakes.

 

DBL

[thlst3]

She's keeping you around as a friend and nothing more. If you want to move past this, then i suggest NC.

 

You're hoping she'll change her mind but I wouldn't bet on it. You should stop all contact and give her space and time.

 

"I asked her if she ever see's us getting back together and she said not really."

 

Try NC for 6 days instead of 3... it'll make a world of difference for you.

 

Good luck!

[Crizco]

ok.. well she called me back on Friday morning as well but i was playing golf so i didn't answer. I ended up calling her back Saturday afternoon. We talked for a little bit. Very casual. Talked about the weekend and everything. She had to go to work so I didn't talk to her the rest of the day saturday and then all day sunday. She just text messaged me and said. "I don't want you to think that I don't love you because I do. This is just something i'm doing for myself. I wanted to make sure you know that. Hope you had a good day" ... Does that mean anything? What should i do?

[joyce1412]

unfortunately crizco, i don't think it means anything. some dumpers just can't quit their exes cold turkey, and wean themselves off of you--leaving the dumpees confused and heartbroken. i was one of those dumpees.

 

i've read about it happening a million times on this board. almost never do they come through and decide to be with you.

 

again, try NC. if you are really strict about it, you'll probably get your answer about whether she wants to be with you sooner rather than later--because either she'll eventually stop contacting you, or she'll make her intentions to be with you again known.

[Crizco]

okay.. since my last post..

 

I didn't respond to that text message. She called me the next day around noon. I didn't get her call until about 30 minutes later and then I called her back. She called me to tell me that she was having horrible cramps (time of month) and that she wanted me to come get her from school. I was too late and her best friend ended up driving her home. She went on to tell me how she wasn't feeling well and then told me that if I didn't mind she was going to stop by later tonight or tomorrow sometime. I said that was fine just to call me and let me know.

 

She then called back about an hour later and asked if she could come over then. I said it wasn't a good time because I was doing homework and had practice in an hour. She said that's fine and that she'll probably just call me tomorrow. I went to my buddies house that night and my phone doesn't have any service. When came home and had service again I had a text message that said "I stopped by but you weren't home". I texted her back saying my bad i was playing poker.

 

I asked her the next day if she wanted to come over still and she said sure. We hung out for a good 2 or 3 hours. Just hanging out. She laughed a lot. Nothing intimate. No kissing, no cuddling, no touching pretty much. I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie with me that night and she agreed. During that time together she said she still wanted to go to my buddies wedding as my date and she wants to go shopping for a dress that matches my shirt tomorrow. Is this progress or anything? I also sent her a text message telling her good luck on her test today and then she called me after to tell me how it went and everything.

[amuse]

Just go with the flow... she is thinking and she is still contacting you and you are calling back, let it be casual and see what happens.