1 night stand or not

[menotyou]

So, Friday night I spent the night with a girl that I have been sorta flirting with for the past couple of weeks. Normally its something that I would never do, but somehow it just happened.

 

It was a pretty good experience from what I could gather for the both of us, but the thing is I think I would like to see her again. I called her the next day (upon her request should I want to do something with her), and she said that she was tired and not feeling up to going out. Should I call her, or wait for her to call?

[Anna.]

I think it's ok to call...talk about what happened if you feel like you need/want to

[chai714]

Wait a while - maybe a week or so then call her just to talk. This should send her the message you're not just out for one thing.

[melrich]

I'd wait a day or 2 and give her another call. (If she hasn't called by then). No use dying wondering.

[doyathink]

I would call her, she may have not felt well if the two of you were up late! If you want to go out again, and she told you to call her, do it! Let her know it wasn't a one night stand and that you really do like her.

[menotyou]

Thats what I was thinking too, but if she liked me wouldnt she call? And if I do call, should I ask her out to do something?

[zer0effect]

It is hard to say, might be nothing. I would call and tell her that you are up for hanging out, mention somehow that it doesn't have to invovle sex, but you are cool otherwise if she isn't interested. Then never call her again. If she calls, she does, if not oh well.

[southerngirl]

Call her and tell her that you do like her and it wasnt a one night stand to you unless she wants it that way. Ask her if she'd care to hang out with you sometime , maybe catch a movie or shoot pool, bowling something fun just the two of you with no sex involved. You may be surprised she may really like you too!

[menotyou]

I'll give it a shot. A couple of friends said I should wait a "few days", but what are the rules for that. Sorry about my nieveness, but Ive been out of the dating scene for about 10 years

[amtjrtcet]

Well, not really rules....but I'd wait a til this wknd. Call her on Thursday, ask her to dinner, or a movie. Something public. That'll send the signal that you do want more then just sex.

[coollady1957]

I agree that it wouldn't hurt to try to give her a call again. I'd definitely wait until toward the end of the week, probably Thursday as someone else mentioned. Just call and talk and bring up that you would like to go out again, and see what her response is.

 

If you call her and do not get her, or leave a message , and she still doesn't call then I would just let it go if I were you and not call her anymore. Give it one more try at least.

[doyathink]

Thats what I was thinking too, but if she liked me wouldnt she call? And if I do call, should I ask her out to do something?

 

Maybe she is just waiting to see how into her you are. Give it a day or two, no longer as she may be thinking, oh well he wrote me off!

[finewhine]

I would call her sooner rather than later. If I boinked a guy and it took him a week to call me back, I'd be really upset. I feel it's disrespectful to wait. See, girls stereotypically have more to "lose" from a one-nighter. Tt's something of a leap of faith to screw someone you hardly know. I'm not saying she necessarily wants to be in a relationship with you, but you really should call her ASAP, if only to reassure her that you don't see her as a disposable piece of as$.

 

If you're concerned you'll look like you're just sniffing around for more sex, just chat with her and plan a real date, then don't sleep with her. It's as simple as that!

[finewhine]

Oh, and one more thing - she is waiting for you to call her. Seriously, that's the way these things generally work.

[menotyou]

Ok, so I finally got the courage to call her tonight. We talked for a considerable amount of time about a bunch of different stuff. It looks like both of us are in "the same boat" as far as a bunch of different things regarding previous relationships and such. The thing is, I really like this girl. Im not totally sure that I want to get into another relationship as im only a couple of months out of a 10 year relationship. I DID have a great time. Alot of questions that were in the back of my head during my previous relationship about how the previous girl treated me were answered in a positive way.

 

At the same time, she doesnt seem to know what she wants in the slightest bit. I would love to have a sweet to repeat, but knowing myself I think I would end up getting hurt in the long run. I know no one can predict the future, but I get a strange feeling....

 

Both of us arent ready for a serious relationship at this moment in time, but at the same time, it was great having someone to talk to the way we talked tonight, as well as the events that transpired over the past weekend. Im just not sure what to do. My head is telling me that I should forget about it because it doesnt seem "perfect", but there is no perfection in a perfect world.

 

She wants to take things day by day, which I can totally understand as Im pretty much in the same situation, but I dont get whats wrong with making plans for the weekend, or any other night just to go out and have a good time. We seem to click, but I have been known to get the wrong idea about things in the past so Im not sure if thats really the case, or if its for real. Why cant people be more up front with how things really are instead of beating around the bush?

 

Anyways, sorry about the babble. This forum has been an excellent place just to "vent". Any advice would be great, but a couple of close friends have suggested that I just forget about it and "move on to the next opportunity".

 

The problem with that is that I have always been the type of guy to maintain my morals by not having a one night stand and thats what last weekend seemed to mean to her.

 

Either way, at this point my whole stance on the thing is how things have been since I realized that my last "relationship" was really over. Whatever happens happens and if it was meant to be it will. What else can I do? I tried to make plans for this weekend, but she said that she doesnt make plans and only takes things day by day, but I just dont get whats wrong with saying your willing to go to a concert on a saturday night.

 

Am I just stupid and nieve?